Any thoughts on where it would be better to file for a divorce if there is a choice between UK and Switzerland? Which jurisdiction is more equitable?
Thanks...

I did it through the UK and it seemed a lot easier than the Swiss system based on my boyfriends recent experience. I could divorce through the UK courts as my ex husband still lived in England. I suppose each situation is different but for me all I had to do was fly to the uk once to sign some papers in front of my solicitor and that was it. All other papers I could complete here and simply post back.

Good luck. It's a horrible thing to go through and I hope you can do it on friendly-ish terms.

Hmmm.... friendly would be nice... but methinks she is going to fleece me......a woman scorned and all that......

Then use the CH system, she will get very little and would be expected to work.

Yes, the Swiss system is equitable, unlike most other systems.

(not that I have any first hand experience, though both of my wives were divorced in Switzerland from their first husbands)

Tom

Bloody hell, two wives. Did not know that was allowed in Switzerland

PS, how the hell do you manage?

I would say this depends very much on your individual circumstances. I got divorced in the UK and it cost me a fortune, a 3 bed detached house, a lump sum, a new car, £800 maintenance (2 kids). Then she got married three months after our divorce.

I would get advice in both countries and see which is better for you

It won't cost the OP a fortune in CH, if the OP is living in CH then it's nothing to do with the UK, if his ex wife wants to live there it's her decision.
In CH any maintance for the wife would end if she got married in the event she even han any entitlement to any in the first place. (Children under 5 is one possibility).

It sounds like you did not get advice here and got stuffed!

This assumes that there are no kids involved - please advise - otherwise the Swiss system would be appear to be harsher than UK in my second-hand experience.

Once the kids are 5 she would be expected to work, so you would not have to pay for her. She would not have the automatic right to half your house or to get a new car. She might have an interest in half of your pension for the period you were married, but only those years.

He asked the question where is best. It has nothing to do with what his Ex wife wants, its what he wants. As for being stuffed, yes I was at £200+VAT per hour for my solicitor, it wasn't that I didn't take advice, I just took the wrong advice. Just made me laugh when we got to court, my solicitor at £200 per hour, her solicitor at £200 per hour, her Barrister at £600 per hour. I watched all of them argue over approx £50 per month maintenance for 3 days. £24k for nothing.

The legal costs in CH would have been a fraction of that, it's a different system where compromise is the order of the day.

Crikey! I am so glad that me and the ex could settle it nicely. We sold our house, split the profit 50/50 and walked away from each other without losing loads of money.

We were lucky not to have kids and also that we were still friends who had just grown apart and lost that "lovin' feeling".

p.s. not all of us women are money grabbers who set out to fleece men. Some of us value our pride and morals more than money. The only finances that a man shouldn't complain about paying is his maintenance for his kids IMHO.

Swiss friends recently signed the final papers for their divorce. It took 6 years(!) because they couldn't agree. However there were a number of kids involved.
His lawyer fees were CHF 90 000, which he had to pay himself, hers were about the same, but paid for by "the state".

Sad.

You must have loved this person once, there should be a place that you both could talk to each other in a civilised manor, or am i dreaming?

PS: it is not just women who may feel scorned and behave in a particularly evil fashion.

PPS: Lawyers are the only ones that win here.

Too often one's ego is more important than one's common sense.

Thanks for all the messages and advice. Seems a lot has to do with the quality of the legal advice you get. I will take advice in both countries and see which seems better. I want to be fair, and have no problem with giving half of everything....but am not keen to give half of everything AND keep her in comfort for the rest of her life........

If there are kids involved and they live here.. you'll still have to go through the swiss system to set up custody, child support and visitation.

In general, legal fees in switzerland are lower (amazing eh !)

As noted, you'll also only be expected to provide for the kids after the divorce.

Expect to hand over around 15% of your income for 1st kid and an additional 5% for additional sprogs... that seems to be the default.. you may be able to negotiate.

Thanks. Happily no kids involved - they are grown up and out the nest. Just 29 years worth of assets to divide..... In short, when I moved here 4 years ago from the UK, Mrs did not follow, and, well, one thing leads to another and here we are....

Very intersting that lawyers fees will be cheaper here! That has to be the ONLY thing that is cheaper.....

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. 29 years is a long time. I hope you each find your way through this as peacefully and respectfully as possible.

Perhaps the two of you could consider a mediator?

Yes....29 years is a long time. A lifetime in fact. I am very sad that things have turned out the way they have. I am hoping that everything can be settled respectfully. I will bend over backwards to ensure that things are fair. I am just nervous about when greedy lawyers start getting involved and start filling peoples heads with ideas. We will always be connected through our kids and eventually grandkids. It would be tragic if we end up despising each other because of some vicious attack dog lawyers trying to make a reputation. I am pretty sure that left alone we would come to an agreement that is fair to both.