My boobs are a heading a bit too south for my liking.....feel like I have 6 kids not one....

Two kids no stretch marks, no belly left.


But this time it takes much more time to lose weight. Last time it took me a year, will see this time. Let's say I am not going down as fast because the clothes I bought 8 months postpartum #1 can't fit in yet now that I am at postpartum #2 same months.

I am hoping biiiig time to go back of my weight before.

I was 54 kilos for 165 cm before the first pregnancy, when I felt pregnant with my second, I was 58. Now I am 64 and feel like shit. I still retain a lot of water and can't get rid of it. I am getting hopeless.

I love my c-section scar. Love it, love it! Because for me, it represent how great this delivery was compared to the first time.

Btw, I am obsess with my actual weight.

I think you just need to let go. So you are not super-slim at the moment - give your body and mind a rest and stop worrying so much. In fact, I think it's really important that you develop a more accepting stance towards your body as I was negatively influenced by my mother's constant dieting and fixation on weight. You are not unhealthily overweight, just a bit sturdier than before. This is not a health issue, but a vanity issue - of course that is an issue too, I know, but you seem to be putting so much energy into this when I believe the way to go is to relax a bit. Stress generates cortisol and that makes you put on weight, remember?

This is actually super common. Some get their muscle tone right away, some after years of crunches (I had a split muscle for years, glad to see it back intact, but man, it still hurts in certain angles), some people never get it back. Sorry it has happened to you. It really does take being preggo and delivering to realize, chuck all the books, we are all different and there are no common strategies to actually deal with post partum changes since our bodies react differently. To hormones, other chemicals, nursing, etc. There is zero one way and our bodies will adapt according to the plan they have. On their own. One can help, sure, but some folks will always have to work way way harder than others. I didn't really mind, it put me into a certain handy bootcamp mindset that at the end was healthy, and helped me with other routines. Will power. We just have to compare ourselves to our mothers and sisters, genetics, and ourselves, never to other moms. That never works.

I know. Still, there are many ladies here, on the forum, who read this while they are unsuccessfully trying for an offspring, let's think of them and not rub it in.

Ah, this made me chuckle.

Ok, I do think there is this eagerness of moms to watch their tummies and give themselves hell. It's pointless, one should look at their babe and admire themselves for birthing potential, hahah. Seriously. But.

While, all this "admire your baby, give yourself a break" is all nice, still, it really works only for a short time. When one does not stand in front of the mirror, in a store while dreaming of some clothes or shopping online for apparel one would want to sport.

The easiest and time saving is to just get on with it. Stop thinking and start. Trim your food portions, find an exercise buddy, inform your family and friends, trick yourself into strategies that will prevent you from a failure. Arrange workouts, sign up to classes, forget weighing yourself. Stop using babies and running around them as an excuse to not work out. Working out and eating fresh, light food will actually perk you ton and energize. Working out is the best anti stress,the biggest cortisol beater (well, aside of sex, too, obviously, but new moms and libido, there have been books written about it, n'est pas). Sometimes it is just easier to attack the task, instead of retrain oneself to like one's new body shape.

Unless you are nursing, and that really is tiring. But slimming worked well while nursing, one just watches what one eats, unless you supplement, then nursing does not burn so many calories. Even while nursing, walk a lot, I went out 2-3 times a day, to tire the little eager beaver and to give myself a bit of exercise. Pilates did wonders for 2 years postpartum with a combo of gym.

Sorry, I am probably repeating what has been written here many times, didn't have time to read the entire thread.

This worked to me, does not have to work for others, sure. But there are too many moms who throw evil eyes at slim moms, it' annoying. Just get on with it. It does take an effort, so, start now instead of comparing oneself to others.

Or, really, as said before, give yourself a break, love your wobbly parts, accept yourself and be happy. There is always time to catch up laters, when babes are old enough to stay a couple of hours in their play groups.

Hi Musicchick

Just wanting to check your meaning here and assure mine was correctly understood. The I know in your sentence seems to imply you concur with my thoughts but the still implies that you feel I was rubbing it in. This was clearly not my intention and I would be appalled to think that anyone might think it so. My intention was to point out that it would be selfish of me to be worrying about my body shape when my SIL has to go through such sadness.

Just thought I would clarify things and of course you may not have meant that at all.

This is the crunch to it guys- the amount of people that would eagerly give a wrinkly tummy and flabby t*ts, possibly other body parts, for something that we take for granted - having a baby.

I now wear a bikini & my stretch-marks with pride.
I'll never be 20, without kids again, and wouldn't want to be.
My body has so many scars, and each tell a story- they are what make you be the person you are today.

Yes, exercise can do some work towards repairing muscles, but so does time.

And people do look at you differently when you are a mother, not just because you look different, but because you now have one of the greatest responsibilities on your shoulders- and you have a different charisma.

It is also important that your partner accepts what your body has become, for your own mental health.

There is currently a program on BBC four about Fatherhood, and how important that is.

PS: I couldn't watch all of that video..

I know I know. No harm, I wasn't saying you mean to rub it in, but that they could read it that way, I didn't read it that way. I only meant to say, it's not only your SIL, but there are so many among us with painful histories to tell...

I remember a friend who pretended to be preggo, when she was TTC, it breaks my heart just to think about it. People do crazy stuff.

Well, not wishing to boast but actually I think I like my body a lot more now than I did pre-kids. In terms of the differences then and now, I am totally sure that I look better now. And I'm in better shape now too.

Before having kids I ate shit but was still quite thin, but I never exercised so never really had any muscle tone - just that I was thin.

I put on over 20kg with both my pregnancies and whilst some of it did go naturally, I was left with around 10kilos extra each time.

So - actually for the first time in my life - post-pregnancy I started dieting and working out regularly and properly. In 6 months I developed abs - and I mean real proper defined abs - for the first time ever - I always had a flat stomach but there was no sign of muscle there before! And I now have a bum that is quite respectable in a pair of jeans - whereas before it was very saggy. I feel better in myself too - energy-wise, and also something that used to really plague me - I don't get cold feet or hands any more as my circulation is much better.

Obviously I'm not Angela Jolie.... [bugger] and I am still a classic pear shape. I have a few stretch marks - mostly on my thighs actually - none on my belly - and the skin round my stomach is really not that different than before - yes, a little looser but nothing major. And although I'd probably like to drop a few kilos too I am really happy with how I look at the moment.

I'm a big fan of Davina McCalls workout DVDs (she's a UK TV celebrity by the way, 42 (43 even?) years old, and 3 kids - all natural no plastic surgery etc.) In one of her DVDs she sits down cross legged and says something like "I just need to tuck in the excess skin, that's what you get from having kids" - and she says "there's not much 'up' about my chest - I've had 3 kids!" and I love those bits - to know that someone as fit and good looking as her is admitting that she has a baby-belly-skin-roll and saggier-than-before boobs - brilliant!

Some of the responses are really inspiring.

I have a friend who, after having two kids, decided that she'd had enough of avoiding a bikini at the beach. When they were a bit older, she dedicated herself to fitness and bodybuilding competitions. She said that she did it because she wanted to get up there in the best shape of her life, stretch marks and all. She looks wonderful!

Obviously we don't all have to put this kind of effort and time into our bodies. But for her it was really important in terms of accepting her childbirth marks and reaching her goal. She did, in fact, win a competition about a year ago and it was a pretty incredible moment for her.

I think it is just terrible that women start worrying about what their bodies will look like after having given birth when they've just come out of the bathroom after having peed on the pregnancy test..

I have two kids, gained 24kg the first time, lost 19, gained 19 the second time, lost 23. got stretchmarks, a wobbly tummy, no waist, but who cares?! I've got two wonderful children and I don't understand why women are expected (or expect themselves) to look exactly the way they did before they had children.. I am glad I don't look that way anymore although it was definitely a "nicer" body, just because it doesn't match my life anymore.

Right before my son was born I had stretch marks on my belly, double normal sized breasts, and my maternity pants still fit. After birth, literally... right after! My pants didn't fit anymore... I had to wear jogging pants for 2 weeks (my husband was not happy LOL) I regained my normal figure within the first few weeks, breasts reduced back to normal and after 2 or 3 months all of my normal clothes fit again. I believe one thing that really helped getting my figure back so quickly was thanks to breastfeeding. My mother used to say she never breastfed because she didn't want to ruin her breasts... but the breastfeeding support lady told me in the hospital that breastfeeding also helps reduce the uterus back to it's normal position... My mother also always blamed me for her post birth "pot belly" but I guess she should have blamed herself. My boobs look fantastic and my belly does too

Well, becoming a mother doesn't mean for some to stop being happy in their body or to want to get back to what they had before even if not exactly the same. I like to look good, feel good and have nice clothes falling well on my body. Kids or not, it doesn't change this and if I am happy, my kids are happy too.

I care

Have to agree, davina is fantastic! i did 30 mins a day doing various workouts from here dvds all fun all have an easier option to start with and managed to lose a heap of weight very quickly and have fun! I even took it on holiday for before my wedding to could burn off all greek food.. got so carried away i kicked the chair and sprained my toe it turned black ended up getting married in flip flops but as I say I enjoyed this daily workout and the 3 x 30 min one is great especially the boxercise and the pre.post pregnancy workout too.
My 2 year old likes to join in by sitting my belly whilst doing sit ups and my back for the press ups... the little monkey.

For many of the same reasons non-pregnant women are expected (or expect themselves) to look gorgeous and young. Because the media tells us this is what's acceptable. You see all these celebrities who look just as good after having a baby. Sure we know the reasons why as suggested in this thread. But I do think these things can make it tougher on women.

I dunno. My number one concern is to have a healthy baby. Secondary to that is to have a functional body after childbirth (i.e. all my various bits continue to do what they originally did!). Where vanity takes me after all that, we'll see.

You get the cute award of the day for that post. I actually "aaawwwed" out loud!

100% agreed.

What we don't talk about is those women who think they don't need to take care of themselves because they have a baby. They exist. Now, don't take me wrong, having a baby takes a lot of energy and time. You go through to day without seeing it passed. A baby doesn't stay a baby for long, so after a while there is no baby excuse anymore.

If you are trully happy that way, great. But some of us aren't and want to do something about it.

Little Isabella, it won't be easy. The first time, it took a year to lose my weight. This time, God knows when....

But I won't give up and I'll get here. And you too.

Youpie!

I bough some trousers few months ago with the goal to fit nicely in them. Today, I wear them for the very first time!

Yay! I love that feeling when you get something new and feel good in it. I'm sure you looked stunning in them.

You know what? I was. Because I felt good and happy in my body so I was more confident and relax. If you like what you have, it shows and other people feel it as well.