Hey Everyone.

I am 21 years old, got married in February this year and am due to give birth to my first child on the 11th of May.
My partner is studying full time at University, and due to my lack of skill in the German language department + my babys soon to be arrival I can neither work or study.

I think I have been very dependent on my partner, so the fact that it feels as if me and our relationship has taken a backseat to EVERYTHING in his life including his friends and computer games, has really gotten to me.

I am writing this to ask for anyones suggestions on ways I can become not dependent on him at all. I am very limited to activities that I can participate in due to the language barrier and being completely broke.

However all and any suggestions will be appreciated!

Thanks Heaps!!

Hi,

Welcome to the forum and congratulations on your pregnancy.

My suggestion is that you join a discussion group around your place - maybe there is one in Luzern? That way, you can practice the language. You could also put up a notice in your local Migros/Coop looking for a German-English tandem. Do you know any moms in the neighborhood? Maybe an EF member lives somewhere close by and could help you in more specific ways.

Please don't despair

Ouch...

... I tried getting my significant other to start playing some first person shooter games together with me (co-op mode) but I had to give up and buy a karaoke game instead so that we could sing duets.

... which was OK until she forbid me to sing along with her (something about me being off-key....)

Find out where your local 'Gemeinschaftzentrum' is - it's the community centre. Check it out and don't be shy - you will find plenty of (swiss) people do speak english....

See if you can afford a travel pass - so you can just 'go out' when he's at uni and do stuff...even if it's just to ride the train/bus/tram and explore.

I did months of window shopping when I first arrived... I would literally go into every single shop and smile and check out what they had on offer...

Find out where your local library is (bibliothek), swimming centre, churches, community spaces...

Life is going to change...a lot....very soon...more than you imagined. You need some other mums to hang around with...and fast...if you are not averse to church then I'd suggest making contact because they are a great source of women! or try some other religious group that suits your interests...

Being cranky also is normal throughout pregnancy, but particularly in the final stages. Do you have family coming to visit you after the baby is born ? That will take an enormous amount of your time...

I'd also highly recommend finding a supportive internet community that's just for mums... there are lots out there but choose wisely.

See if your husband can also network you with some other student's wives - I'm sure you're not the only one in this situation - you might even find some older wives with kids at school or whatever who have time to give you a bit of 'been there done that' advice.

If you want some specific encouragement, feel free to send me a PM. I was your age when I had my eldest. She's 12 now! But when I go around with my 4 year old everyone assumes he must be my 'first' child...it was pretty isolating to have baby so 'young' - my peer group are all raising babies now, and I'm going to be raising a teenager next year!

Further to Swisspea's excellent suggestions:

I just googled a little and found there is a youth and family advice centre (jufa) in your area. There is free family counselling and free "mother and father advice" (the latter is somewhere you can take your baby to get weighed etc. and get advice on how to look after it). Most likely they would also have lots of information about other services in your area. I would suggest emailing both the family counsellor (familienberatung@ebikon.ch) and the mother and father advisor (mvb@ebikon.ch) to ask if they are willing to talk to you in English.

Good luck.

Hi All.

Sorry for the late reply, have been really busy with preparations for my babys delivery and have been having some technical difficulties.

Thank you all for your great tips and advice. Will definitely have a look into all of your suggestions.

Thanks again.
Kelly.