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Old 05.05.2012, 16:17
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Calling relatives by their first names?

My kids call me by my first name, which MG's SIL finds inappropriate and disrespectful. I like it, though. My niece and my cousin's kids also call me by my first name, and I call my aunt and uncle by their first names (not uncle x and aunt y).

OH on the other hands gets called uncle by his niece and nephew and calls his uncles and aunts uncle Y and aunt X. I find that totally old-fashioned.

What do you think? How do you address your relatives, your in-laws etc.?
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Old 05.05.2012, 16:24
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Re: Calling relatives by their first names?

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My kids call me by my first name, which MG's SIL finds inappropriate and disrespectful. I like it, though. My niece and my cousin's kids also call me by my first name, and I call my aunt and uncle by their first names (not uncle x and aunt y).

OH on the other hands gets called uncle by his niece and nephew and calls his uncles and aunts uncle Y and aunt X. I find that totally old-fashioned.

What do you think? How do you address your relatives, your in-laws etc.?
Hi,

If I want to be called glowjupiter, I expect to be called glowjupiter. Nobody can qualify this as inappropriate, as it is what I want.
As I stated elsewhere on this forum, calling people what they want to be called is a sign of respect.

Everything is ok, first names, traditional terms (Grandma etc.), Aunt/Uncle XY etc. - depending on what the person being addressed wants.

So, if the SIL finds it inappropriate, tell her it's none of her business, as she's not the person concerned.
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Old 05.05.2012, 16:26
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Re: Calling relatives by their first names?

I usually call my daughter 'daughter' (and she usually calls me 'father') started as a joke but stuck... I call my son and my other daughter by their names...

I also have been known to refer to my daughter as 'my son' but that was only because my Spanish wasn't very good...

I don't think it really matters as long as both people are happy with what they call each other.
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Old 05.05.2012, 16:28
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Re: Calling relatives by their first names?

I think you should be called by whatever name you would like to be known as. Same goes for the rest of the family, so I see no problem with some being known as "aunty" etc and others not.

I know that some see it as a sign of respect and try to insist on others , especially children, using a title all the time. Personally, I think respect is earned and is not created with a title.

I did have one relative whom I had known as Mr X before he became part of the family. As a child, I couldn't bring myself to call him by his first name, so I always began any conversation with him by saying "Hey..." I think I have stopped that now.
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Old 05.05.2012, 16:32
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Re: Calling relatives by their first names?

I call my parents mum and dad, and my grandparents grandma/grandad

Everyone else by their first names unless i want to ask a favour

*cute baby voice: Auntiiiiieeeeee..... can you blah blah blah?*
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Old 05.05.2012, 16:34
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Re: Calling relatives by their first names?

To be honest, I was a little aghast when I heard my sister-IL calling my parents by their first names in the beginning, but they didn't object, so I guess it's ok for them.
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Old 05.05.2012, 16:37
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Re: Calling relatives by their first names?

My kids call me "Mom" unless we get separated in a crowd--then they call me by my first name to really get my attention. Luckily I don't have a super common name

My nieces and nephews usually call me by my first name--not because they don't want to show respect, but because we don't see each other that often so I think they don't feel a family connection.

As for my in-laws, they told me to call them by their first names, as they understood that I already had a Mom and Dad.

Personally, I think it's up to me to decide what I want people to call me. If I decide one day that I dislike my name and start asking people to call me "Jimmy John", then so be it!
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Old 05.05.2012, 16:40
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Re: Calling relatives by their first names?

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Hi,
So, if the SIL finds it inappropriate, tell her it's none of her business, as she's not the person concerned.
Ahem, MG's SIL is my OH, MacGregor's SIL, not my sister-IL lol
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Old 05.05.2012, 16:40
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Re: Calling relatives by their first names?

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To be honest, I was a little aghast when I heard my sister-IL calling my parents by their first names in the beginning, but they didn't object, so I guess it's ok for them.
Did your parents tell your sil to use their first names?

Personally I like this and I can see that there can be an awkwardness between some people eg: calling inlaws "Mum" and "Dad" may not feel comfortable for one or other of the parties. First names seems to be a nice informality without encroaching on very personal names.
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Old 05.05.2012, 16:43
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Re: Calling relatives by their first names?

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Did your parents tell your sil to use their first names?

Personally I like this and I can see that there can be an awkwardness between some people eg: calling inlaws "Mum" and "Dad" may not feel comfortable for one or other of the parties. First names seems to be a nice informality without encroaching on very personal names.
No, she just did it and then I thought, maybe this is what you do in these modern times and days.
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Old 05.05.2012, 16:44
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Re: Calling relatives by their first names?

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Ahem, MG's SIL is my OH, MacGregor's SIL, not my sister-IL lol
Whoops, sorry

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I think you should be called by whatever name you would like to be known as. Same goes for the rest of the family, so I see no problem with some being known as "aunty" etc and others not.

I know that some see it as a sign of respect and try to insist on others , especially children, using a title all the time. Personally, I think respect is earned and is not created with a title.

I did have one relative whom I had known as Mr X before he became part of the family. As a child, I couldn't bring myself to call him by his first name, so I always began any conversation with him by saying "Hey..." I think I have stopped that now.
dittoed 100% - especially the underlined part.
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Old 05.05.2012, 16:47
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Re: Calling relatives by their first names?

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I usually call my daughter 'daughter' (and she usually calls me 'father') started as a joke but stuck... I call my son and my other daughter by their names...

I also have been known to refer to my daughter as 'my son' but that was only because my Spanish wasn't very good...

I don't think it really matters as long as both people are happy with what they call each other.
Haha, whenever I say "young man" to my son he replies "old woman"... guess I have to give up on that one, LOL
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Old 05.05.2012, 17:00
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Re: Calling relatives by their first names?

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My kids call me by my first name, which MG's SIL finds inappropriate and disrespectful. I like it, though.
I know a couple of families in which the kids call their parents by their first names and they all seem to fare perfectly. but still I don't understand why you should renounce the sense of affectionate exclusiveness that calling your parents "mum" and "dad" gives.

I would feel that my kids were putting me on the same levels as their friends and that therefore our relationship were less exclusive. my kids would also find it highly innatural, by the way, but I guess it's really just a question of habit, rather than hiding some more profound attitude towards the mother/father role.
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Old 05.05.2012, 17:08
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Re: Calling relatives by their first names?

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but I guess it's really just a question of habit, rather than hiding some more profound attitude towards the mother/father role.
In the beginning, when she was able to talk, my daughter called me Mom. But at a certain age she realized that other people called me by my first name and she started using it too. I found it somehow cute and never corrected her. My son never called me mom because he learned from his older sister that I was "name".

We all got so used to it and I also think it shows a certain closeness - yes, I'm more their friend now that they are teenagers. But I have encountered other people who, when hearing it, tried to correct my kids! "Ah, what you call her? You're supposed to say "mom"!" and I just thought wtf it's none of your business!
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Old 05.05.2012, 17:13
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Re: Calling relatives by their first names?

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In the beginning, when she was able to talk, my daughter called me Mom. But at a certain age she realized that other people called me by my first name and she started using it too. I found it somehow cute and never corrected her. My son never called me mom because he learned from his older sister that I was "name".
this sounds like a fun reason

I perfectly agree with you that it's nobody else's business and that it is totally ignorant and stupid to ask a child about this or even ask to change this!
that's the reason why I never dared ask the parents we know (we're not in that degree of confidence). so it's good to have your input!
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Old 05.05.2012, 17:17
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Re: Calling relatives by their first names?

My OH calls my parents with their names. I asked him about it and he said he wont call them mom and dad as he already has those.

I on the other hand did not decide how to call them. My uncles by marriage call my grandfather (their wives dad) dad. So calling them mom and dad seems natural to me, My mil calls me daughter in law in FB and darling in real life.
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Old 05.05.2012, 17:23
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Re: Calling relatives by their first names?

My sister has 2 grown up girls who call her by her first name but my children call me Mum.

It would not bother me if they called me by my name now as they are grown up but I don't think I would like it if they were still little. All my nieces & nephews call me by my first name though.

I never called my inlaws Mum & Dad and I just found it really hard to call them by their 1st names - so in the end I didn't call them anything..
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Old 05.05.2012, 17:53
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Re: Calling relatives by their first names?

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My kids call me by my first name, which MG's SIL finds inappropriate and disrespectful. I like it, though. .?
What ?? your real name isn't mom ??
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Old 05.05.2012, 18:02
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Re: Calling relatives by their first names?

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.

I never called my inlaws Mum & Dad and I just found it really hard to call them by their 1st names - so in the end I didn't call them anything..
I can identify with that too.
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Old 05.05.2012, 18:11
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Re: Calling relatives by their first names?

I agree with most people here.. you should be able to call your kids whatever you like (being respectful of course) and they should be able to call you what you feel is appropriate.
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