Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Help & tips > Family matters/health
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #21  
Old 25.03.2014, 22:28
Tasebo's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wald, Zurich/Stockholm
Posts: 1,194
Groaned at 4 Times in 3 Posts
Thanked 1,263 Times in 645 Posts
Tasebo has a reputation beyond reputeTasebo has a reputation beyond reputeTasebo has a reputation beyond reputeTasebo has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

Quote:
View Post
Good luck- not easy for you. We all know as parents that the more you push, the more they back pedal- and yet you know you have to find a way of pushing, to help them As a parent of teenagers, you sometimes feel that whatever you do is the wrong thing- heads you lose, tail you lose. I am glad mine are all grown up now, and found a good way out of the maze (one via University and one by-passing it- Uni is not the only way forwards for all). Rooting for you... (I am now a grand-mother, and mine 38 and 40).
.
I always defer to my mother's favourite response whenever I asked her what she thought I should do, re school, uni, job in my teens/twenties. We might have had a good long heart-to-heart discussion, but she always ended with " You have to do what you think is best".

Although some might see this as her resigning herself of any responsibility, I think it really helped me to develop a sense of making sensible choices and decisions (even if they were not always the "right" ones). I couldn't throw the ball of blame at her - ie "you made me..."
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank Tasebo for this useful post:
  #22  
Old 25.03.2014, 22:33
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: At home
Posts: 4,167
Groaned at 210 Times in 135 Posts
Thanked 6,404 Times in 2,719 Posts
Faltrad has a reputation beyond reputeFaltrad has a reputation beyond reputeFaltrad has a reputation beyond reputeFaltrad has a reputation beyond reputeFaltrad has a reputation beyond reputeFaltrad has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

Quote:
View Post
To have a culture shock you first need culture.

That is one thing you won't find on this forum.
I am definitely having a culture shock when reading this. No idea whether you are biting or petting my feelings.
No idea.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank Faltrad for this useful post:
  #23  
Old 25.03.2014, 22:39
MacGregor's Daughter's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Zug
Posts: 3,187
Groaned at 32 Times in 24 Posts
Thanked 3,563 Times in 1,463 Posts
MacGregor's Daughter has a reputation beyond reputeMacGregor's Daughter has a reputation beyond reputeMacGregor's Daughter has a reputation beyond reputeMacGregor's Daughter has a reputation beyond reputeMacGregor's Daughter has a reputation beyond reputeMacGregor's Daughter has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

Quote:
View Post
I always defer to my mother's favourite response whenever I asked her what she thought I should do, re school, uni, job in my teens/twenties. We might have had a good long heart-to-heart discussion, but she always ended with " You have to do what you think is best".

Although some might see this as her resigning herself of any responsibility, I think it really helped me to develop a sense of making sensible choices and decisions (even if they were not always the "right" ones). I couldn't throw the ball of blame at her - ie "you made me..."
Well it's not as if I force my daughter into university,she wants it but I have to take care of the paperwork and the payments because there were deadlines and she never would have made it. She has a way of putting this off "Oh, there is still so much time...." and then of course you can always rely on your old mom when the going gets tough and you need last minute certified copies of your high school diploma.....
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 25.03.2014, 22:49
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Neuchatel
Posts: 19,366
Groaned at 368 Times in 275 Posts
Thanked 22,374 Times in 10,068 Posts
Odile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

Quote:
View Post
I always defer to my mother's favourite response whenever I asked her what she thought I should do, re school, uni, job in my teens/twenties. We might have had a good long heart-to-heart discussion, but she always ended with " You have to do what you think is best".

Although some might see this as her resigning herself of any responsibility, I think it really helped me to develop a sense of making sensible choices and decisions (even if they were not always the "right" ones). I couldn't throw the ball of blame at her - ie "you made me..."
Yeah, I get this- but I know so many kids who failed and then blamed the parents 'you did NOT make me - you allowed me to fail, when I needed a kick up the backside'- sometimes, you feel you just can't win.

It all turned well in the end- but there were some hairy moments where we felt so lost as how to best proceed... so I truly feel for McGregor's. Been there, done that...
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank Odile for this useful post:
  #25  
Old 25.03.2014, 23:21
Tasebo's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wald, Zurich/Stockholm
Posts: 1,194
Groaned at 4 Times in 3 Posts
Thanked 1,263 Times in 645 Posts
Tasebo has a reputation beyond reputeTasebo has a reputation beyond reputeTasebo has a reputation beyond reputeTasebo has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

Quote:
View Post
Yeah, I get this- but I know so many kids who failed and then blamed the parents 'you did NOT make me - you allowed me to fail, when I needed a kick up the backside'- sometimes, you feel you just can't win.

It all turned well in the end- but there were some hairy moments where we felt so lost as how to best proceed... so I truly feel for McGregor's. Been there, done that...
I think there is also a parental feeling that by moving around between different school systems, peer groups, etc (sometimes at inopportune times) there lives have been made more complicated, and even if we don't feel directly guilty there is an urge to jump in and help, then when they should be taking the responsibility (ie deadlines, transcripts) a precedent has been set, and thus it continues...

Can't win for trying or is it can't win for losing?
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank Tasebo for this useful post:
  #26  
Old 25.03.2014, 23:26
st2lemans's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Lugano
Posts: 18,139
Groaned at 927 Times in 723 Posts
Thanked 19,714 Times in 9,477 Posts
st2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

I taught my kids to cook, and to love motorcycles.

The rest is up to them.

Tom
Reply With Quote
The following 4 users would like to thank st2lemans for this useful post:
  #27  
Old 25.03.2014, 23:36
Tasebo's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wald, Zurich/Stockholm
Posts: 1,194
Groaned at 4 Times in 3 Posts
Thanked 1,263 Times in 645 Posts
Tasebo has a reputation beyond reputeTasebo has a reputation beyond reputeTasebo has a reputation beyond reputeTasebo has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

Quote:
View Post
I taught my kids to cook, and to love motorcycles.

The rest is up to them.

Tom
Did you influence their music choices?
Reply With Quote
  #28  
Old 25.03.2014, 23:46
st2lemans's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Lugano
Posts: 18,139
Groaned at 927 Times in 723 Posts
Thanked 19,714 Times in 9,477 Posts
st2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

Quote:
View Post
Did you influence their music choices?
Yes, as I have all of my 800+ CDs on the home server.

The like the Beatles, the Ramones, the Dead Kennedys, and other stuff.

In fact, one of my daughters is named after a Ramones song.

Tom
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank st2lemans for this useful post:
  #29  
Old 25.03.2014, 23:59
Tasebo's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wald, Zurich/Stockholm
Posts: 1,194
Groaned at 4 Times in 3 Posts
Thanked 1,263 Times in 645 Posts
Tasebo has a reputation beyond reputeTasebo has a reputation beyond reputeTasebo has a reputation beyond reputeTasebo has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

Quote:
View Post
Yes, as I have all of my 800+ CDs on the home server.

The like the Beatles, the Ramones, the Dead Kennedys, and other stuff.

In fact, one of my daughters is named after a Ramones song.

Tom
She wouldn't by any chance be a Sheena? Like the Ramones Makes me feel like dancing
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank Tasebo for this useful post:
  #30  
Old 26.03.2014, 00:02
Dougal's Breakfast's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: GL
Posts: 15,384
Groaned at 969 Times in 737 Posts
Thanked 38,646 Times in 12,100 Posts
Dougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

Quote:
View Post
She wouldn't by any chance be a Sheena? Like the Ramones Makes me feel like dancing


Bonzo goes to Bitburg.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank Dougal's Breakfast for this useful post:
  #31  
Old 26.03.2014, 00:04
Tasebo's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wald, Zurich/Stockholm
Posts: 1,194
Groaned at 4 Times in 3 Posts
Thanked 1,263 Times in 645 Posts
Tasebo has a reputation beyond reputeTasebo has a reputation beyond reputeTasebo has a reputation beyond reputeTasebo has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

Quote:
View Post
Bonzo goes to Bitburg.
Isn't it bedtime in Glarus?
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank Tasebo for this useful post:
  #32  
Old 26.03.2014, 00:05
st2lemans's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Lugano
Posts: 18,139
Groaned at 927 Times in 723 Posts
Thanked 19,714 Times in 9,477 Posts
st2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

Quote:
View Post
Bonzo goes to Bitburg.
Wrong song.

But 'Bedtime For Bonzo' is a great movie.

Tom
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank st2lemans for this useful post:
  #33  
Old 26.03.2014, 00:15
Tasebo's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wald, Zurich/Stockholm
Posts: 1,194
Groaned at 4 Times in 3 Posts
Thanked 1,263 Times in 645 Posts
Tasebo has a reputation beyond reputeTasebo has a reputation beyond reputeTasebo has a reputation beyond reputeTasebo has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

Quote:
View Post
Wrong song.

But 'Bedtime For Bonzo' is a great movie.

Tom
But Ronnie was not a great president, he did get on with the Russians though didn't he?

Maybe Odile would like her thread back
Reply With Quote
  #34  
Old 26.03.2014, 01:05
Tasebo's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wald, Zurich/Stockholm
Posts: 1,194
Groaned at 4 Times in 3 Posts
Thanked 1,263 Times in 645 Posts
Tasebo has a reputation beyond reputeTasebo has a reputation beyond reputeTasebo has a reputation beyond reputeTasebo has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

http://www.theguardian.com/.../depen...ropean-adults- live-parents

Slightly closer to one of the thread themes - children dependent on parents. Adult children end up at home for many reasons - but we shouldn't "help" make it happen
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank Tasebo for this useful post:
  #35  
Old 26.03.2014, 12:11
Tasebo's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wald, Zurich/Stockholm
Posts: 1,194
Groaned at 4 Times in 3 Posts
Thanked 1,263 Times in 645 Posts
Tasebo has a reputation beyond reputeTasebo has a reputation beyond reputeTasebo has a reputation beyond reputeTasebo has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

"So you thought you were doing your children a favour going to live abroad. Think again, says Rebecca Abrams, a year after moving to Switzerland with her family"

The Guardian

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandst...onships.family

I guess many will identify with some aspect of this article - the good and the more uncomfortable bits...
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank Tasebo for this useful post:
  #36  
Old 26.03.2014, 12:23
Treverus's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: SZ
Posts: 9,271
Groaned at 215 Times in 178 Posts
Thanked 16,476 Times in 6,018 Posts
Treverus has a reputation beyond reputeTreverus has a reputation beyond reputeTreverus has a reputation beyond reputeTreverus has a reputation beyond reputeTreverus has a reputation beyond reputeTreverus has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

Quote:
View Post
Parents are embarrassing no matter whether it's filling in a form in a foreign language or boogying-on-down at a wedding disco, or even just breathing in a certain way.
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank Treverus for this useful post:
  #37  
Old 26.03.2014, 13:55
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: St Louis, France
Posts: 234
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 202 Times in 74 Posts
Manley Hopkins is considered knowledgeableManley Hopkins is considered knowledgeableManley Hopkins is considered knowledgeable
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

Quote:
View Post
"So you thought you were doing your children a favour going to live abroad. Think again, says Rebecca Abrams, a year after moving to Switzerland with her family"

The Guardian

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandst...onships.family

I guess many will identify with some aspect of this article - the good and the more uncomfortable bits...
I found this article really interesting. Children do learn quickly, but I find parents - on this forum too - tend to think it is all very easy. I could identify with Rebecca's personal experiences about learning a language. For many children, it's already hard to fit in with others when you know the language and culture, and if you don't, it can be horrible. It's not always a positive experience, much as we like to think it is.
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank Manley Hopkins for this useful post:
  #38  
Old 26.03.2014, 15:50
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Zurich
Posts: 505
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 573 Times in 306 Posts
irish_temptation has an excellent reputationirish_temptation has an excellent reputationirish_temptation has an excellent reputationirish_temptation has an excellent reputation
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

Quote:
View Post
I found this article really interesting. Children do learn quickly, but I find parents - on this forum too - tend to think it is all very easy. I could identify with Rebecca's personal experiences about learning a language. For many children, it's already hard to fit in with others when you know the language and culture, and if you don't, it can be horrible. It's not always a positive experience, much as we like to think it is.
Two thoughts crossed my mind while reading the article. Firstly the quote from the teacher about it taking longer than two year if they don't want to learn the language. I think this is a really important point. We all experienced this. If there was a subject at school we were not interested in it was much more difficult and took longer to master than otherwise. This is maybe even more true for languages. If someone does not want to learn a language it's really difficult to learn. I had many pupils who were not interested in learning French - hence they never really learnt it. I had a feeling that not only the children were unhappy in that article. Also the mother did not seem to encourage them a lot or seemed happy about learning a new language. It takes all the help you can get. Therefore watching movies in French with French subtitles instead of English. Showing your children that you are learning too. Sit next to them at the table while they do their homework you study French. You need to be committed to learning.
Secondly people usually say that children cope easily and that they learn quickly. A 14-year-old girl is not a child for me in that sense. It's a teenager. A teenager is by definition unsure. Throw in all the rest and I am not surprise the girl is having troubles.
Moving is easy once the children are small. After a certain age it becomes a lot more difficult for a whole lot of reasons. The education of the children is therefore a very important factor in deciding if to move abroad and should not be neglected.
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank irish_temptation for this useful post:
  #39  
Old 26.03.2014, 16:01
Pixie B's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: SZ
Posts: 941
Groaned at 11 Times in 5 Posts
Thanked 729 Times in 302 Posts
Blog Entries: 23
Pixie B has a reputation beyond reputePixie B has a reputation beyond reputePixie B has a reputation beyond reputePixie B has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

What is this golden age before they find it tough? Our eldest is just about to turn 7 (we'll be moving a few weeks before her birthday) and she's the one we're more worried about. We are breaking the news to them on Saturday. When they havent been in school and we know they've not had a rotten day
Reply With Quote
  #40  
Old 26.03.2014, 16:13
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Bern
Posts: 1,421
Groaned at 51 Times in 39 Posts
Thanked 1,742 Times in 719 Posts
simplon has a reputation beyond reputesimplon has a reputation beyond reputesimplon has a reputation beyond reputesimplon has a reputation beyond reputesimplon has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

Quote:
View Post
What is this golden age before they find it tough? Our eldest is just about to turn 7 (we'll be moving a few weeks before her birthday) and she's the one we're more worried about. We are breaking the news to them on Saturday. When they havent been in school and we know they've not had a rotten day
As soon children have social contacts outside the family it gets tough for them. There are not many children who take changes well. I guess the golden age would be ... a toddler who doesn't speak yet . Look on the bright side: You don't have any teenagers. To them moving to foreign country equals to be on the road to hell.
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank simplon for this useful post:
Reply

Tags
children, identity., multiculturalism, third cluture kid




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Signs that you're becoming Swiss cowlumbus Jokes/funnies 10 05.05.2011 02:05
Modern western culture superior to any other culture ever? scribble International affairs/politics 134 07.02.2011 20:30
Do you know what they're serving you? Bookworm General off-topic 51 07.10.2008 16:40
Can you put for sale signs on your car here? damore Transportation/driving 4 20.05.2008 21:42
25 signs you have grown up swissotter Jokes/funnies 19 08.10.2007 23:50


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 04:07.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0