Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Help & tips > Family matters/health
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #41  
Old 26.03.2014, 16:16
amaraya's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: lausanne
Posts: 2,237
Groaned at 20 Times in 9 Posts
Thanked 2,845 Times in 1,204 Posts
amaraya has a reputation beyond reputeamaraya has a reputation beyond reputeamaraya has a reputation beyond reputeamaraya has a reputation beyond reputeamaraya has a reputation beyond reputeamaraya has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

first, a major factor in how a child learns a new language and how motivated they are is the parents- i.e, if you have parents who see the move and learning a new language/culture as an adventure- often the child/ren take the same feeling eventually. if the parents express stress, negativity, opposition, etc to the move and the language the child will certainly not be as motivated to learn.

also, i'm not exactly clear on what a 3rd culture kid/parent is- today has been a long day . isn't it just a family living in a country that isn't their native place/language, etc.? we have so many mixes in my family that almost each generation for the past four has moved to another place. many factors come into play- yes, many changes/challenges- yes. but it isn't anything really new and it certainly needn't be so worrying. challenges like these happen regardless and in the end it's all about teaching kids to learn coping skills, adaptability and autonomy. these things are essential in any situation though. it's not to say that as parents we don't have to reflect on the move, challenges they face or whatnot, but sometimes the more you worry about it the more of an issue it becomes.
__________________
'there isn't enough of anything as long as we live.
but at intervals a sweetness appears and, given a chance prevails'
Reply With Quote
The following 4 users would like to thank amaraya for this useful post:
  #42  
Old 26.03.2014, 16:23
Dougal's Breakfast's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: GL
Posts: 15,349
Groaned at 969 Times in 737 Posts
Thanked 38,501 Times in 12,071 Posts
Dougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

From the article:


Quote:
I propose to give us a name too.
Why? What makes these people think they are so bloody special?


Moving to another country, with or without children, has been part of human existence for millennia. It can be hard, for sure, but I'm pretty sure millions of people have managed it without 'proposing to give themselves a name'. Instead they did it by bloody well getting on with it.

I should ask my best mate in England whether his parents proposed a name for themselves when they brought him and his siblings over to escape persecution in their home country? I wonder if they started a blog about their difficulties in getting accustomed to a new life on a grey, unwelcoming island populated by revolting, pasty barbarians? Perhaps they set up a support group, where they agonised over their decision to uproot their children and drop them amongst a load of foreign kids who didn't understand their culture?


Or, perhaps, they did what everyone else did before the internet was invented and just bloody well got on with it?





If 'third culture parents who indulge in omphaloskepsis on the internets' want to propose a name for themselves, I could think of a few. I'm not sure they'd be very fond of them, though...
Reply With Quote
The following 6 users would like to thank Dougal's Breakfast for this useful post:
  #43  
Old 26.03.2014, 16:29
Lou's Avatar
Lou Lou is offline
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Zurich
Posts: 3,784
Groaned at 10 Times in 10 Posts
Thanked 3,227 Times in 1,474 Posts
Lou has a reputation beyond reputeLou has a reputation beyond reputeLou has a reputation beyond reputeLou has a reputation beyond reputeLou has a reputation beyond reputeLou has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

I'm glad I'm not the only one who doesn't get this 3rd culture thing. It all seems like nonsense to me, bringing up kids is difficult enough without attaching labels to them, the patent(s) and the situation.

Quote:
View Post
first, a major factor in how a child learns a new language and how motivated they are is the parents- i.e, if you have parents who see the move and learning a new language/culture as an adventure- often the child/ren take the same feeling eventually. if the parents express stress, negativity, opposition, etc to the move and the language the child will certainly not be as motivated to learn.

also, i'm not exactly clear on what a 3rd culture kid/parent is- today has been a long day . isn't it just a family living in a country that isn't their native place/language, etc.? we have so many mixes in my family that almost each generation for the past four has moved to another place. many factors come into play- yes, many changes/challenges- yes. but it isn't anything really new and it certainly needn't be so worrying. challenges like these happen regardless and in the end it's all about teaching kids to learn coping skills, adaptability and autonomy. these things are essential in any situation though. it's not to say that as parents we don't have to reflect on the move, challenges they face or whatnot, but sometimes the more you worry about it the more of an issue it becomes.
Reply With Quote
The following 5 users would like to thank Lou for this useful post:
  #44  
Old 26.03.2014, 16:36
nigelr's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Aargau
Posts: 1,419
Groaned at 109 Times in 53 Posts
Thanked 1,481 Times in 715 Posts
nigelr has a reputation beyond reputenigelr has a reputation beyond reputenigelr has a reputation beyond reputenigelr has a reputation beyond reputenigelr has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

Quote:
View Post
I'm glad I'm not the only one who doesn't get this 3rd culture thing. It all seems like nonsense to me, bringing up kids is difficult enough without attaching labels to them, the patent(s) and the situation.
To be honest I read the article/blog when the thread first appeared and thought "what the hell is this rubbish" but didn't want to be the one raining on the OPs parade.
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank nigelr for this useful post:
  #45  
Old 26.03.2014, 16:47
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Neuchatel
Posts: 19,355
Groaned at 368 Times in 275 Posts
Thanked 22,366 Times in 10,062 Posts
Odile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

Not my parade Nigel- sent to me by someone else- and I thought I'd post here for comments- and see how people relate to this. I agree with many of the comments above- and as said, my kids never were in that position at all.
Rain away it's all very interesting. I do agree about 'labels' and I must say.

Pixie- 8 and under is perfect timing, for all sort of reasons, including school system. A few kids don't make the transition well. but for the great majority of those who do- they gain skills that will serve them forever, in so many ways. One thing is clear though, the more positive the parents about the move, the more positive the children and the more successful too. Kids are incredibly good at picking bad vibes from parents, be it about the move, the culture, the language, the school, etc, etc. And, thinking about a recent posting by an expat parent- I think ALL KIDS are pretty special, in their own very personal way- not just expat kids.
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank Odile for this useful post:
  #46  
Old 26.03.2014, 16:48
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Gruyère area
Posts: 12
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Ckdo92 has no particular reputation at present
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

Quote:
View Post
From the article:


Why? What makes these people think they are so bloody special?


Moving to another country, with or without children, has been part of human existence for millennia. It can be hard, for sure, but I'm pretty sure millions of people have managed it without 'proposing to give themselves a name'. Instead they did it by bloody well getting on with it.

I should ask my best mate in England whether his parents proposed a name for themselves when they brought him and his siblings over to escape persecution in their home country? I wonder if they started a blog about their difficulties in getting accustomed to a new life on a grey, unwelcoming island populated by revolting, pasty barbarians? Perhaps they set up a support group, where they agonised over their decision to uproot their children and drop them amongst a load of foreign kids who didn't understand their culture?


Or, perhaps, they did what everyone else did before the internet was invented and just bloody well got on with it?





If 'third culture parents who indulge in omphaloskepsis on the internets' want to propose a name for themselves, I could think of a few. I'm not sure they'd be very fond of them, though...
The scenario you are describing does not fit the third culture subject.
You are talking about a family who has emigrated for good to one place. They are called immigrants.
My understanding of third culture is more when you are moving from country to country, never settling in a unique place with the locals.
Reply With Quote
  #47  
Old 26.03.2014, 16:50
Dougal's Breakfast's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: GL
Posts: 15,349
Groaned at 969 Times in 737 Posts
Thanked 38,501 Times in 12,071 Posts
Dougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

Quote:
View Post
My understanding of third culture is more when you are moving from country to country, never settling in a unique place with the locals.

Ah! Rich, upper middle class people, then?


I suppose they've got to have something to whine about in between enjoying the best of what the world has to offer...
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank Dougal's Breakfast for this useful post:
  #48  
Old 26.03.2014, 16:50
nigelr's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Aargau
Posts: 1,419
Groaned at 109 Times in 53 Posts
Thanked 1,481 Times in 715 Posts
nigelr has a reputation beyond reputenigelr has a reputation beyond reputenigelr has a reputation beyond reputenigelr has a reputation beyond reputenigelr has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

Quote:
View Post
Not my parade Nigel- sent to me by someone else- and I thought I'd post here for comments- and see how people relate to this. I agree with many of the comments above- and as said, my kids never were in that position at all.
Rain away it's all very interesting.
I know, but sometimes I can get over critical unfairly and so I thought I would sit this one out - until now.
Reply With Quote
  #49  
Old 26.03.2014, 16:52
nigelr's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Aargau
Posts: 1,419
Groaned at 109 Times in 53 Posts
Thanked 1,481 Times in 715 Posts
nigelr has a reputation beyond reputenigelr has a reputation beyond reputenigelr has a reputation beyond reputenigelr has a reputation beyond reputenigelr has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

Quote:
View Post
Ah! Rich, upper middle class people, then?


I suppose they've got to have something to whine about in between enjoying the best of what the world has to offer...
Could equally be poor people following the work of course....
Reply With Quote
  #50  
Old 26.03.2014, 16:53
Dougal's Breakfast's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: GL
Posts: 15,349
Groaned at 969 Times in 737 Posts
Thanked 38,501 Times in 12,071 Posts
Dougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

Quote:
View Post
Could equally be poor people following the work of course....

Could be... but isn't.
Reply With Quote
  #51  
Old 26.03.2014, 16:55
longboat's Avatar
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Adliswil
Posts: 27
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 11 Times in 6 Posts
longboat has no particular reputation at present
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

It is pertinent to me reading this today, as I have had direct experience this morning. I have been here 12 months, and my sons (aged 6 and 8) 9 months, into local schools from day 3, but the eldest had 6 months in integration class, where the youngest was straight into 1.Klasse

This morning was parents' morning, so I have had the chance to watch them both in the school environment - admittedly one maths lessons and then a swimming lesson each so nothing too strenuous

In terms of integration, the 8 year old's language is much stronger, but he has fewer connections within the class. That said, he has only been in that class for 2.5 months (after moving from the integration class), and has some social issues, so I have seen him do the same in the UK. The youngest was behaving as a 6 year old boy would - boisterous, and active

Conclusions? good question!
1. Parents morning is a great thing - this was not show and tell, this was watching them go about their normal daily business
2. Kids develop differently - support them, encourage them and don't weigh yourself down with guilt
3. A lot of the challenges that we see and experience also happen in 'native environment'

Sorry for rambling
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank longboat for this useful post:
  #52  
Old 26.03.2014, 16:57
longboat's Avatar
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Adliswil
Posts: 27
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 11 Times in 6 Posts
longboat has no particular reputation at present
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

and the conversation moved on whilst I was rambling
Reply With Quote
  #53  
Old 26.03.2014, 17:03
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Gruyère area
Posts: 12
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Ckdo92 has no particular reputation at present
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

Quote:
View Post
Could be... but isn't.
I am sorry but you are wrong. I am following the work around and it has not made me richer - well, not from a financial point of view at least. And please, I am not alone. This is a cliché I am soooo tired to hear all the time.
Reply With Quote
  #54  
Old 26.03.2014, 17:05
Lou's Avatar
Lou Lou is offline
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Zurich
Posts: 3,784
Groaned at 10 Times in 10 Posts
Thanked 3,227 Times in 1,474 Posts
Lou has a reputation beyond reputeLou has a reputation beyond reputeLou has a reputation beyond reputeLou has a reputation beyond reputeLou has a reputation beyond reputeLou has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

My thinking was what pretentious nonsense and incredibly patronising to boot.

Quote:
View Post
To be honest I read the article/blog when the thread first appeared and thought "what the hell is this rubbish" but didn't want to be the one raining on the OPs parade.
Reply With Quote
The following 4 users would like to thank Lou for this useful post:
  #55  
Old 26.03.2014, 17:07
starmir's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Kanton Zurich
Posts: 226
Groaned at 2 Times in 1 Post
Thanked 189 Times in 90 Posts
starmir has slipped a little
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

31 signs you're a 3rd culture kid...

I am definitely... I guess my progeny will be 4th ... or just directly digital native
Reply With Quote
  #56  
Old 26.03.2014, 17:08
Belgianmum's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Was Belgium now Neuchâtel
Posts: 8,195
Groaned at 60 Times in 57 Posts
Thanked 10,208 Times in 4,909 Posts
Belgianmum has a reputation beyond reputeBelgianmum has a reputation beyond reputeBelgianmum has a reputation beyond reputeBelgianmum has a reputation beyond reputeBelgianmum has a reputation beyond reputeBelgianmum has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

Quote:
View Post
As soon children have social contacts outside the family it gets tough for them. There are not many children who take changes well. I guess the golden age would be ... a toddler who doesn't speak yet . Look on the bright side: You don't have any teenagers. To them moving to foreign country equals to be on the road to hell.
Our son was 10 almost 11 when we moved here and that just about sums up his reaction to the move.

He had been in the same class, in the same school with the same kids since he was three so as far as he was concerned we were ruining his life. He was luckier than most as the move didn't involve learning a new language as he had always gone to a French speaking school but trying to integrate into a class of kids who ( like him previously) had all been together since day one was really tough.

That being said when we had the possibility to move back there after two years here he was completely torn. He had made friends here and was enjoying the lifestyle and was realistic enough to realise that if we did go back things would not be the same as before. In the end he decided that it would probably be better to stay here.
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank Belgianmum for this useful post:
  #57  
Old 26.03.2014, 17:40
Dougal's Breakfast's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: GL
Posts: 15,349
Groaned at 969 Times in 737 Posts
Thanked 38,501 Times in 12,071 Posts
Dougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond reputeDougal's Breakfast has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

Quote:
View Post
I am sorry but you are wrong. I am following the work around and it has not made me richer - well, not from a financial point of view at least. And please, I am not alone. This is a cliché I am soooo tired to hear all the time.

There are exceptions to every rule, but by and large the kind of people who don't mix with the locals are those who can afford not to mix with the locals.


The rest of us peasants have to just muck in and take people as we find them, whether they want us to or not. We integrate because not integrating isn't an option that is available to us.
Reply With Quote
  #58  
Old 26.03.2014, 18:39
amaraya's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: lausanne
Posts: 2,237
Groaned at 20 Times in 9 Posts
Thanked 2,845 Times in 1,204 Posts
amaraya has a reputation beyond reputeamaraya has a reputation beyond reputeamaraya has a reputation beyond reputeamaraya has a reputation beyond reputeamaraya has a reputation beyond reputeamaraya has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

frankly i've been more concerned about students i have had that were leaving their countries in a rubber tube by themselves taking three months to walk to safety and hope nobody finds them, hurts them or worse. then i think of those 'immigrants' who live always with a dream to go back to where they are from and so the kids are living with parents who aren't completely in their new countries sometimes. often moving from neighborhood to neighborhood because of financial issues and whatnot. if you are following the jobs and the money and your kids are along for the ride, it's fine- why feel so guilty and put complexes on them- i think it's more the parents who are resentful, uprooted and perhaps a bit overwhelmed. if the parents can't cope with it surely the kids learn that too! life isn't always easy even for the 1% so while i can sympathize to some degree. cry me a river

i think that people who have a lot tend to take small issues and make them huge- perspective. your kids have it all and so much more than most. teach them to appreciate it and deal with the crap. in my vast experience teaching kids from both types of families, the ones that do best are those who are strong, tight knit, self reliant families that don't worry too much about how xyz will affect junior but more so how can junior be strong enough to cope with and adapt to life and the world around him. just my two cents...
__________________
'there isn't enough of anything as long as we live.
but at intervals a sweetness appears and, given a chance prevails'
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank amaraya for this useful post:
  #59  
Old 26.03.2014, 18:52
amaraya's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: lausanne
Posts: 2,237
Groaned at 20 Times in 9 Posts
Thanked 2,845 Times in 1,204 Posts
amaraya has a reputation beyond reputeamaraya has a reputation beyond reputeamaraya has a reputation beyond reputeamaraya has a reputation beyond reputeamaraya has a reputation beyond reputeamaraya has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

Quote:
View Post
I am sorry but you are wrong. I am following the work around and it has not made me richer - well, not from a financial point of view at least. And please, I am not alone. This is a cliché I am soooo tired to hear all the time.
likewise we came here for work too. and certainly not richer

but i'm not worried about how my son will cope- i'm sure he will. he has learned that things don't come easy, you have to work hard, there are sacrifices and you can't dwell on them but do your best to be happy and enjoy the ride. i don't really have to give a special name to that. i find that sometimes the easier things come the tougher it is to deal with it when things don't go as you want/expect i guess that may be part of the definition of the 3rd culture thing in my opinion...
__________________
'there isn't enough of anything as long as we live.
but at intervals a sweetness appears and, given a chance prevails'
Reply With Quote
  #60  
Old 26.03.2014, 21:29
Tasebo's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wald, Zurich/Stockholm
Posts: 1,194
Groaned at 4 Times in 3 Posts
Thanked 1,263 Times in 645 Posts
Tasebo has a reputation beyond reputeTasebo has a reputation beyond reputeTasebo has a reputation beyond reputeTasebo has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Are your kids third culture kids?

Quote:
View Post
What is this golden age before they find it tough? Our eldest is just about to turn 7 (we'll be moving a few weeks before her birthday) and she's the one we're more worried about. We are breaking the news to them on Saturday. When they havent been in school and we know they've not had a rotten day
I haven't read all the other posts yet, so this has likely already been said, but positive words can't hurt if you accidentally get too many I would think your 7yr old will be fine - if your forum attitude and demeanor are anything to go by, even if she has a bumpy day particularly in the first year she'll have you to "lift" her back up
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
children, identity., multiculturalism, third cluture kid




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Signs that you're becoming Swiss cowlumbus Jokes/funnies 10 05.05.2011 02:05
Modern western culture superior to any other culture ever? scribble International affairs/politics 134 07.02.2011 20:30
Do you know what they're serving you? Bookworm General off-topic 51 07.10.2008 16:40
Can you put for sale signs on your car here? damore Transportation/driving 4 20.05.2008 21:42
25 signs you have grown up swissotter Jokes/funnies 19 08.10.2007 23:50


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 00:32.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0