i was trying not to make my post too long to read

most of the time, parents will tell you they don't know 'what' to do when a baby cries but actually i think they mean 'what happen'. That's why identifying reason is the most primary thing to do. As in my previous post, most reasons come with straightforward answer or very long answers that might call for a new thread

If your question is referring to my first baby, I have to say "i forgot" One will be surprised to find how forgetful he/she could be about the first kid once you have the second arrives.

I think together with identifying the reason, one should be RELAX. I know it's easy to say than practice but the fact is that baby under 6 months could tell if the parent is stressed or not and they would refuse to be held when it happens. So the more the parent is worried, the more crying baby would happen.

not sure if I answer your question...

Nope. I was asking what technique you used in the end, i.e. was it that your baby had bad cholic or was attention seeking because your husband was away a lot, and how did you eventually get it to stop crying?

For us, we did the following:
1) infant formula with (weak) fenel tea
2) flatulex
3) vigorous burping (babies, not us)
4) moderate leaving the baby to cry (my wife was soft and I'm an uncaring barsteward)

We noticed a lot of differences between our three children re how they drank their milk vs. much crying they did, i.e. in our case it was mostly wind related.

surely you will agree how forgetful we would be once you're parent

I barely remember how I get over it in immediate term but my previous post about the learning is pretty much what accumulated since then.

If I have to dig into my brain harder, the single most important thing come to my mind is "routine" which I get it very often in a lot of books too. Baby is creature of routine. Any disturbance to the routine is a big deal to baby. I tried to do thing in fixed schedule and fixed action e.g. even with friends visit, i insisted to put the kid to bed same time...etc so across time, I see my kids getting much calm and stable, and of course, less tears as a reward

I agree with the routine thing fully! Though it's hard when people turn up (as my kittycat is supposed to be going for a nap) and then expect that she stay up so they can coo and dote. This effectively gets her wound up and throws her out of synch for the next few days

Did you manage to get a truly stable routine going with your little one at 8 weeks?

Och, I sympathize with the crying. It is hard to let them cry for no reason... even when it's necessary. Good luck and chin up!

I'm not sure how big a fan I am of the super-tight scheduling. Some parents become downright rude and reclusive as they stick to "baby's schedule" and let baby's sleeping patterns make the rules. It also makes me wonder how spoiled the child could turn out. Still, to each their own?

Babies need sleep - that's when they grow and develop.

I don't think it's unreasonable to expect visitors to quietly say hello to (an obviously tired) baby and then let her be taken off to bed before resuming with socialising.

I think it's down right rude for a visitor to demand that I put my baby on show for them under their conditions...in MY house!!!

Muffin,
I do not have kid s myself but hope to have soon
but did baby sit and had my sister 2 kids
i think you got a lot of great advices here
maybe ask your peditrician ,give him a quick call
maybe something need to be change in the diet,
now yes get yourself a nice drink,and try to relax,i can imagine
it is not easy when you are by yourself,he he my huby was traveling
for work for years,so i know the feeling ,i didn t had a little one,but
other things!
Maybe an Aromatherapie Diffuser in your Tv room with Lavender
essential oil to relax you!
Where i grew up,they used to put Orange Flower water to calm you,so
you can put it in the baby bottle,of course ask the Peditrician first.
I m certain if the little angel see you feel more relax,she will eel as well.
Hugs.
do you like pet s ?
and if you have time to take care of one,i can tell you ,i was so glad to
have my Lab,i felt less lonely when hubby was away on work trip,

I rely on these website for advice when my baby is upset and won't stop crying.
http://www.babycenter.com/0_what-to-...on_10320516.bc
http://www.babycenter.com/0_twelve-r...e-them_9790.bc

They send you regular mails pertaining to your baby's no. of months and there are some helpful information. Plus, you kind of know what to expect in the upcoming months of your baby's life.

This is what I do during the day while I work from home to help keep my 4 and a half month old contented and get my work done:

6:30: I get up and leave baby slumbering away while I start my first work tasks for the day and simultaneously much a bowl of muesli. (She wakes to feed at 5 or so then falls asleep again)
7:30 - 12:00: Baby wakes up and I take a break to fetch her and cuddle/play. I the lay her down next to me on the floor on a sheepskin with her toys and she plays/chats away. I talk and smile at her while I work. If she 'says' she's hungry I feed her. If she's sleepy I pop her in to bed and she snoozes twice for an hour each time in the morning. I change her too of course when she needs it (usually after a feed)

12:00 - 12:30: I cuddle and play with my girl then reheat last night's leftovers to eat while baby plays next to me on the floor.

12:30 - 16:00: Same routine as the morning. but with more feeds.

16:00: Go out for a walk or bike ride (with baby trailer)

18:00: Bath time! Yay!!

18:30: Baby observes while hubby and I cook then eat dinner

Play and cuddles as family til bed time at 19:30 - 20:00

Hope this helps I find that if baby feels she's had enough one on one time with Mum and Dad, has a full belly and a clean nappy she is happy and goes to sleep more easily.

Just a thought:
Is your baby well enough rested? Sometimes babies are just overtired, especially if it is chronic, they will cry.
I highly recommend Dr. Weissbluth's book: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby. I am not a fan of the cry-it-out method that he talks about, but the book is FULL of great information for dealing with problems like yours.
Good luck and don't forget that they are always growing and changing and soon this phase will pass too!
best,
sheila

poor baby, I feel so sorry for the baby... carry her around if she needs it!! think of what a monkey mom would do! keeping our babies away from our bodies is not natural -- it is something that came up during industrialization - 1850s onward, the discipline in factories gradually took over in the private sphere of families - keep your kids in their own beds, if they don't want to, just let them cry. This is a big mistake. We did what our parents said with the first baby and it had to cry for a couple of weeks .. then, we did what our heart and feeling said and we sleep in bed with our kids now - they let us know when it is too much closeness for them! When we take an afternoon nap I have the 3 weeks old on my right and the 2,5 year old on my left. Wonderful. During the night, the baby is next to me and the 2,5 year old next to dad. If dad goes to work early, I switch beds when he leaves. If dad is away, the night is like nap time: both with me. So easy, so rewarding the fun we have the rest of day.

Poor husband! Where do you find time to be intimate when your bed is occupied by children for years as you have more little ones?? I'm glad it works for you, but personally I would be worried about the stress of little to no private time with my husband and I would always be worried of the risks of having an infant sleep in an adult bed.

With a bit of creativity everything can be done.. They are only tiny for such a short time.

Cosleeping can be done safely, but it's not for everyone, I think.

Haha, good to hear. Well, in the case of my mother, she had children approximately every 2 years for 20 years, so she would have had to wait a bit longer.

Ha,ha! No, it's not that bad, you always find time for sex if you want!! It's even better, because just having sex because your in the same bed and because it's dark outside is a bit old-fashioned, or??

With 8 month old twins, I can sympathise with the incessant crying problem. I've found this British baby resource v. useful - www.babycentre.co.uk

In particular, for when it gets really bad, there's a helpline called "Crysis" - if you can afford to call a UK number, call +44 207 404 5011 and you'll speak to someone who can help you cope

On the question of "leave to cry or not" a great book called "Why love matters" strongly advocates NOT leaving babies to cry it out - it can raise stress levels in the baby's body, and cause permanent, long term problems due to prolonged, elevated cortisol levels. Even if it doesn't stop the crying, cuddling lets your distressed child know you're there, and trying to soothe him.

I understand you, baby crying is so puzzling..

...I found this book really useful...and confidence building: 'Every child can learn to sleep' by Kast-Zahn & Morgenroth ISBN 978-3-7742-7409-9

They suggest that, when a child cries you go to them immediately to reassure them, talk soothingly, kiss and stroke them etc. You stay no longer than 2 minutes. You then return at intervals timed by a clock until the child is asleep, be it 3 mins or 3 hours. When you go in you shouldn't pick baby up or feed etc. They need to stay lying in their own bed. (This of course only works when you know your child is not in pain, is healthy, sufficiently fed through the day, comfortable and has a fresh nappy etc. It's cruel to leave a baby with a blocked nose or pooey nappy without dealing with it right away.) This is also only for babies older than 6 mths. It's not possible to spoil babies younger than that.

1st day:
1st time = 3mins. 2nd time = 5mins. 3rd and subsequent times = 7 mins.

2nd day:
1st time = 5mins. 2nd time = 7mins. 3rd and subsequent times = 10 mins.

3rd and subsequent days:
1st time = 7mins. 2nd and subsequent times = 10 mins.

We tried this systematically and consequently in combo with the usual bed routine and found that our 7 month old settles after the second visit, maximum. Most importantly she seems to have sensed the fact that we are more confident. She responds to a calming, reassuring tone saying everything is alright, she's safe, Mummy and Daddy are there and will be there when she wakes up for some boobie/breakfast etc. She picks up if we ourselves are flustered and unsure and she reflects that by crying further. It's amazing really how tone and body language communicate so much. Even talking soothingly about what you've done for the day or will do the next day works.

Puddy

One option can be to use a sling. They are like scarves that you tie around you a carry your baby. There's a swiss brand: http://www.tragetuch.ch/ch_d/lana.htm

This way I had my hands free, the baby was with me - done! everyone is happy. I've noticed that they never cry without a reason at that age, it's just sometimes very difficult to find that reason.