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Old 11.03.2014, 10:29
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Who to watch older sibling while giving birth?

Just wondering what everyone's experience is as to who watches an older sibling while mom is in labor/giving birth?

We moved here from Canada a few months ago to be closer to family (my parents live here). My parents of course were going to watch my 3.5 year old, but might not get a chance to anymore since they now have to fly to the U.S for my grandfather's funeral. The dates they are travelling are the very end of my pregnancy (38 - 39.5 weeks).

I was induced after being 7 days overdue with my first so, I never thought I'd say this, but I am actually hoping I will be overdue this time around again...but unfortunately there is no way to predict when this baby will choose to come.

Of course if there is no one to watch my daughter, my husband will have to watch her and I will have to go through it on my own, but I'm really hoping that won't be the case

What are hospital policies in regards to letting an older sibling see mom soon after delivery? We don't have any friends that we could rely on to watch my daughter, as we haven't even been here that long.
Are there midwives that guide you through with support while you are in labor?
I don't really know what I'm asking... maybe just to get an idea as to what the labor and delivery will be like if I'm on my own, and who is there during the process (midwives/nurses etc.).

Thank you all for reading and any advice/input you may have.
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Old 11.03.2014, 10:35
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Re: Who to watch older sibling while giving birth?

neighbour? maybe he can wait at the hospital somewhere?
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Old 11.03.2014, 10:47
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Re: Who to watch older sibling while giving birth?

I'm sure some reputable person on EF could help at relatively short notice, have you met anyone from EF yet? Hopefully you don't need them but that could help.
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Old 11.03.2014, 11:07
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Re: Who to watch older sibling while giving birth?

I know the Red Cross have emergency helpers- but surely it would be better to make friends with a close neighbour, so she is available at short notice, even nighttime- and so you daughter can get to know her and feel comfortable with her. We moved just a few weeks before our second was born, and by the time of the birth, she and next door neighbour had become good friends and went to stay with her and her family for a few days. I'd gladly help anyone in my area, but ZH is just too far.

Wish you the best of luck...
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Old 11.03.2014, 11:17
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Re: Who to watch older sibling while giving birth?

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I know the Red Cross have emergency helpers- but surely it would be better to make friends with a close neighbour, so she is available at short notice, even nighttime- and so you daughter can get to know her and feel comfortable with her. We moved just a few weeks before our second was born, and by the time of the birth, she and next door neighbour had become good friends and went to stay with her and her family for a few days. I'd gladly help anyone in my area, but ZH is just too far.

Wish you the best of luck...
We have used the Red Cross for emergency help. The people who work for them are all checked and known to them, so there is a certain reassurance there above choosing a neighbour at random. In addition, if you are on a low income, their rates are subsidised (and in our case they have people on their books with special needs experience - something which was causing us difficulties in trying to get a run of mill babysitter).

Otherwise could you not take your 3.5 yr old to a local parent and child playgroup and try to meet up with some friends there who could help?
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Old 11.03.2014, 11:26
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Re: Who to watch older sibling while giving birth?

For our second, my sister-in-law here offered but then changed her mind as my wife was overdue and the sister-in-law was having a friend over for coffee that afternoon.

(Yes, I was speechless too).

Neighbours with kids stepped in twice without us asking and were brilliant but we did know them.

So, I'd still ask neighbours if you know any or perhaps your parents if they know someone?
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Old 11.03.2014, 13:55
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Re: Who to watch older sibling while giving birth?

My heart goes out to you. I live in basel but if you are really stuck I could help. Depending on when it would be I could possibly come and wait with your daughter in your place. If not I could possibly bring your daughter here and then your husband pick her up. If you have no other option we could meet up before the birth first. BTW I have 3 kids who love little ones.
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Old 11.03.2014, 14:38
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Re: Who to watch older sibling while giving birth?

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Just wondering what everyone's experience is as to who watches an older sibling while mom is in labor/giving birth?

We moved here from Canada a few months ago to be closer to family (my parents live here). My parents of course were going to watch my 3.5 year old, but might not get a chance to anymore since they now have to fly to the U.S for my grandfather's funeral. The dates they are travelling are the very end of my pregnancy (38 - 39.5 weeks).

I was induced after being 7 days overdue with my first so, I never thought I'd say this, but I am actually hoping I will be overdue this time around again...but unfortunately there is no way to predict when this baby will choose to come.

Of course if there is no one to watch my daughter, my husband will have to watch her and I will have to go through it on my own, but I'm really hoping that won't be the case

What are hospital policies in regards to letting an older sibling see mom soon after delivery? We don't have any friends that we could rely on to watch my daughter, as we haven't even been here that long.
Are there midwives that guide you through with support while you are in labor?
I don't really know what I'm asking... maybe just to get an idea as to what the labor and delivery will be like if I'm on my own, and who is there during the process (midwives/nurses etc.).

Thank you all for reading and any advice/input you may have.
Hospital policy, if its the same in the German sector will be no children in the delivery room, absolute. We have had this situation twice now (for our second and third kids) and in the first instance because the baby was comign very quickly I had the other one in the car when we arrived at the hospital. We got into the delivery room and immediately I was told "no kids" and they aren't messing about, its a serious message.

We had some friends who were on standby and I called them and they looked after our daughter. Same approach (friends cover) for the third.

If your without the local friends option, perfectly understandable if your new here, then as has been said there is the red cross option, these are all trained childminders though I believe its a service meant to be used in emergencies only and not sure how real time it is i.e. how long they take to turn up.

The other one we considered is a childminder. Hire one now for a few sessions so your current child(ren) get used to them and just say you may have to call on them at an unusual time..

Good luck.
Mike
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Old 11.03.2014, 14:55
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Re: Who to watch older sibling while giving birth?

You could hire a doula :-). She'll look after your child or if your husband stays at home she can help you through the birth in the hospital (additionally to the midwife and/or doctor). For more information, have a look here and here.
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Old 11.03.2014, 14:58
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Re: Who to watch older sibling while giving birth?

This is the information page for the Zurich red cross emergency babysitting service - you might give them a ring.


http://www.srk-zuerich.ch/srk/Ich-su.../KBH/index.php

As I said, I had cause to use them recently and was very pleased. In the Jura they also have a regular childminding at home service but I am not sure if it is specifically aimed at families with specific (including special) needs - certainly we were introduced to it as a means to providing respite care for our son with disabilities and the person we were put in contact with had specific special needs background/training.
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Old 11.03.2014, 15:25
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Re: Who to watch older sibling while giving birth?

They are excellent apparently. but even so, it is hard enough for a child to welcome a new member to the family, without having to be looked after by a total stranger, however good that person is. I'd really try to find someone asap, who can get to know your child, and even more importantly, vice versa- and who can be called in the middle of the night and come and spend the night, with a trial run with you present beforehand.

Last edited by Odile; 11.03.2014 at 16:19.
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Old 11.03.2014, 15:28
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Re: Who to watch older sibling while giving birth?

I just sent you a pm.
We were in the same situation and I ended up going to the hospital at 10pm on my own whilst my husband looked after our 20mth old daughter. Finally at 4am I called him and said he had to get here. Luckily he called a friend who took her for us. She woke on the way to his house and the two of them sat up the rest of the night and most of that day watching TV. (Lucky for us it was a weekend, and our friend didn't have to go to work). ( I didn't give birth until 4pm so could of waited a bit longer).
Anyway I am sure there was a mum on here that took her elder child to the hospital with them. I will see if I can find the thread.
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Old 11.03.2014, 18:03
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Re: Who to watch older sibling while giving birth?

I'm sorry that you have to worry about these things at this time. I live in Zurich and will be glad to help out. I have a 4 year old so understand the challenges. If you need to we could meet up before the birth first and the kids can also get a little comfortable which may make it easy if you need us later. wish you all the best - I am sure all will turn out great.
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Old 11.03.2014, 22:34
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Re: Who to watch older sibling while giving birth?

Following on from my earlier post.
I am sure someone will be along to attach the link (I cant work out how to do it) but a member "eireann" asked the same question as you not so long ago and asked the same question. The post is called "taking a child to the maternity hospital". Seems like it may be possible in some hospitals and there have been a number of successful outcomes. Hopefully you can find the thread and contact some other mums.
Best of luck and hope you have read my PM.
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Old 11.03.2014, 22:57
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Re: Who to watch older sibling while giving birth?

Here's that someone with the link.

Taking a child to the maternity hospital
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Old 11.03.2014, 23:09
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Re: Who to watch older sibling while giving birth?

I had the privilege of being the 'emergency backup person', number 6 on the list for a friend last year.... And of course, as things turned out, I was the best available option on the day, and took a phone call at the very early hours of the morning. Called a taxi and was at her house on the other side of Zurich within an hour, and sat with her children, who were still asleep and then somewhat confused, until daddy could get back from the hospital. In an emergency situation as said the older child is unlikely to get very distressed as long as the career is competent and confident, and fine about going with the flow. One of the littlies was very suspicious of me, so I just explained that I would sit on the couch, and if he needed anything, I would be there to help...and he was ok with that...

I suggest you have quite a few back ups. Rather than relying on one person, make a roster. In my case, I have three kids of my own, but was fine to leave them with my husband if the call came late at night or early in the morning, and have a job where running late for work because I was helping out a friend who was having a baby was a legitimate excuse to be late for work...
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Old 12.03.2014, 12:52
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Re: Who to watch older sibling while giving birth?

I have a 3 1/2 year old daughter and a 5 year old daughter, and could also help out. PM if you would like.

Edit: I saw from your posts that your husband is at the ETH. I am at the Hoenggerberg.
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Old 12.03.2014, 12:54
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Re: Who to watch older sibling while giving birth?

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Hospital policy, if its the same in the German sector will be no children in the delivery room, absolute. We have had this situation twice now (for our second and third kids) and in the first instance because the baby was comign very quickly I had the other one in the car when we arrived at the hospital. We got into the delivery room and immediately I was told "no kids" and they aren't messing about, its a serious message.
For our 2nd one in two weeks time we have people on standby if it is daytime but also hope we can get a private room at the hospital if it's nighttime. Then No.1 can sleep in there. Last time we had to wait until after the birth a few hours to shift from delivery room to private room as they had had a lot of births in the last 48 hours. But I see no reason why you can't ask if there is a private room available when you arrive for the birth. Easy to nip back and forwards and check on No.1 as No.2 is doing it's thing.
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Old 12.03.2014, 13:50
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Re: Who to watch older sibling while giving birth?

There was another thread on this not too long ago. I remember responding to it because I too was worried to be in the same situation as you are, although our older child was around 21 months.

Someone below has said hospital policy is no children. This obviously depends on the hospital as ours was very welcoming and accommodating from the moment we arrived.

Ultimately we brought our child into the delivery room and I delivered a day before my mum arrived. Yes, it's harder because my husband had to occupy him the whole day. However, I had amazing care with a midwife by my side through the entire labor. My decision was to have my husband and older child there right at the delivery phase so long as our child was comfortable and happy with it. If he was fussing, my husband would take him out.

As it was, everything went amazingly well. The delivery was very positive and I welcomed my second child into the world with my husband and older son watching in amazement. It was actually a very special moment. I couldn't be more grateful to the hospital either.

A few tips though - make sure you've got plenty of snacks on hand and books. We had packed a bag ready for our child. Have your husband take him outside for fresh air. Many hospitals have play areas so ask about that as it will keep your child from getting bored. Bring a change of clothes and whatever else might keep them happy. Oh, and if you're taking a taxi be aware that it can be a minimum of an hour for them to arrive if you need a child seat. If you are taking a taxi, try to borrow a car seat from a friend if you can.

Good luck! Feel free to pm me with any questions.
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Old 13.03.2014, 11:17
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Re: Who to watch older sibling while giving birth?

I'd like to thank everyone for taking the time to reply to my post! I can't believe how many people offered their help; it is most appreciated. The last 2 days have involved many talks/phone calls, and so far I think we will be able to arrange for my brother to come and help us out. As per everyone's advice I will be looking at back up plans as well. I feel much more aware as to what I should expect at the time/day of delivery thanks to many of the experiences you've all shared.

Thank you all again and wishing everyone all the best!

Nicole
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