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Old 17.11.2014, 10:41
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Domestic Violence

Hi all,
I am writing this in reference to a friend. She is a housewife suffering domestic violence in lausanne. She is scared, having no knowledge of French language. She is here on a depenedent B permit so her spouse continuously threatens and abuses her. What actions can be taken to stop such behaviour? Her husband threatens of remarrying(He is an Indian Muslim) and leaving her back in India while he continues to work and exploit someone else in Switzerland, if she complains to the authorities. How can justice prevail in such a situation?
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Old 17.11.2014, 11:17
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Re: Domestic Violence

http://www.frauenhaus-schweiz.ch/de/frauenhaeuser

This is the we page of the frauenhaus.

What I know is that she should call the police next time he hits her, sorry to be raw but chances are he will and she needs to act. The police will take her to the frauenhaus and protect her. He cannot just send her like that, she has rights even if she's here because of their marriage. Woman ans men who go through domestic violence have rights!
Please help her call the frauenhaus to be sure and to ask for advise as rules change for every Kenton and that was my experience in Zurich. There's a list of the houses and she should call the nearest to her area.


Wish her the best.

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Old 17.11.2014, 11:19
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Re: Domestic Violence

It is sad that domestic violence knows no boundaries... doesn't matter the language, the religion, or the location. I am so very sorry to hear about your friend's situation. Your friend is lucky to have you and by seeking help for your friend perhaps it is the first step on a path toward a healthier and happier life.

I am new to CH so I have no first hand experience dealing with support for such a situation but, I did come across this link: http://www.lausannemom.com/domestic-...-to-seek-help/

While your friend may not speak French when a person is in need of immediate help language barriers can be overcome. I would imagine that the groups listed may have contacts and other resources that can provide information and assistance to your friend.

Hope that others who live in the area might have more info but if not, at least the link is a starting point. Best of luck for your friend.
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Old 17.11.2014, 11:20
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Re: Domestic Violence

So she wants to leave him and stay here in CH ?

AFAIK, she would be allowed to stay for 90 days at a time on a tourist stay visa.

Visa should be the least of her worries.

Get your friend away from the abusive partner ASAP would be my advice.

No one needs to suffer daily like that.
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Old 17.11.2014, 11:30
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Re: Domestic Violence

If divorce goes through , if it ever gets to that stage wouldnt the BFM tell her to leave CH anyway?
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Old 18.11.2014, 12:00
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Re: Domestic Violence

Thank you everyone for your responses, support and concern.
My friend is a software engineer and was working in an MNC before quitting her job to marry. Leaving switzerland is not an issue so much as her staying apart from husband without divorce. She is not free without a divorce yet her husband is not ready to divorce as he wants to avoid legal repercussions of paying maintenance or alimony to her. If she leaves everything behind she would still be legally bound to him as his wife. Indian judicial system takes years to sort out such issues. She is only scared of the stigma associated with her condition. Is there any way she could ensure if she leaves; her husband also could not continue merrily in switzerland? Rather he be bound to apologize for his behaviour(domestic abuse) and finally get seperated amicably.
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Old 18.11.2014, 12:15
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Re: Domestic Violence

Her staying here would be difficult from the sounds of it.

https://www.ch.ch/en/right-to-reside...th-or-divorce/

She's not integrated and probably no personal circumstances that would exclude her permit being revoked. If she could search for a job here though she would be able to get a permit of her own independent of her husband's.

And no, there's nothing she can do to stop him continuing to live/work in Switzerland. Yes, she can get a divorce here, but from the sounds of it she may have trouble getting any maintenance payments out of him if he's loath to pay up. Probably the only way would be if he was sent to jail for serious criminal behaviour and then got deported after serving his sentence.

There's more on divorce:

https://www.ch.ch/en/divorce
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Old 18.11.2014, 12:38
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Re: Domestic Violence

Get your friend to the "Foyer pour femmes" (The police know the address) and maybe she can think about emigrating to England? Or finding a job here in IT?

If she is qualified for work, why does she stay with the pig? Just hoping for an apology and some alimony? Tell her to stop wasting her time, and move on.

If she has evidence of violence, she can get a divorce very quickly, but first she needs to protect her permit, and get a job.
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Old 18.11.2014, 12:50
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Re: Domestic Violence

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Get your friend to the "Foyer pour femmes" (The police know the address) and maybe she can think about emigrating to England? Or finding a job here in IT?

If she is qualified for work, why does she stay with the pig? Just hoping for an apology and some alimony? Tell her to stop wasting her time, and move on.

If she has evidence of violence, she can get a divorce very quickly, but first she needs to protect her permit, and get a job.
Why England, the OP seems to imply she is an Indian national
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Old 18.11.2014, 13:06
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Re: Domestic Violence

Well, presumably because she might speak English. And also Indian nationals get the most visas to the UK.

"Indian nationals get the most visas issued by the UK by quite a long way. In 2012, there were 48,000 issued to Indians, which was more than three times the amount given to Australians who got the second most."

http://www.theguardian.com/politics/...ration-dilemma

Workwise here it will depend on what permit he/she has. If he has a B then she should be able to apply for jobs without the non-EU hassle, but if he holds an L, then any job she goes for would be subject to authorisation by the Swiss authorities.
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Old 18.11.2014, 13:25
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Re: Domestic Violence

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Hi all,
I am writing this in reference to a friend. She is a housewife suffering domestic violence in lausanne. She is scared, having no knowledge of French language. She is here on a depenedent B permit so her spouse continuously threatens and abuses her. What actions can be taken to stop such behaviour? Her husband threatens of remarrying(He is an Indian Muslim) and leaving her back in India while he continues to work and exploit someone else in Switzerland, if she complains to the authorities. How can justice prevail in such a situation?
How is your french and are you able to contact the authorities on her behalf?

Searched around and found this:
Centre d'accueil MalleyPrairie Chemin de la Prairie 34
1007 Lausanne
021 620 76 76
021 620 76 77
info@malleyprairie.ch
www.violencequefaire.ch
Mon-Fri 8h00 à 12h00
and 14h00 à 18h00

A friend of mine also suggested this site: http://www.vd.ch/themes/vie-privee/p...ce-domestique/ which points to the same number. The number seems to be 24/7 and on an integration site so I'm sure they speak English.

Last edited by crazykittylady; 18.11.2014 at 13:39. Reason: Added Information.
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Old 18.11.2014, 13:39
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Re: Domestic Violence

One, get a recording device immediately
Have it ready and handy. Record every dispute, and also when they talk on the subject so she can prove that he's abusing the situation. Have her make a short list giving date, duration, and a very brief summary. Use a tape device and do store the tapes somewhere safe (e.g. you could store them for her). And of course make sure you have enough tapes

Two, get help. Either the Frauenhaus mentioned above or the Opferhilfestelle(victim assistane agency). This a kantonal matter, find the kanton in this PDF

Three, inform her on the legal situation. What I write needs verification before you tell her anything, the Opferhilfestelle will know with certainty. To me it seems that she may be allowed to stay. She may be entitled for a permit of her own if
- either marriage lasted more than 3 years
- or in case of grave personal reasons. These include domestic abuse and/or a difficult re-integration in their home country. If both apply she seems to actually be entitled to an individual permit, if only one of the two apply she may still be entitled to stay.

She probably should start working again asap to prove she'll be able to stand on her own two feet.

Unfortunately, she may need to stay at home to actually get hit again, not sure. If that happens she should immediately go to a doctor or hospital to prove the abuse.

Edit:
Come to think of it, an electronic storage medium may be better than tape. Use whatever seems best.

Last edited by Urs Max; 18.11.2014 at 13:47. Reason: added translation
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Old 18.11.2014, 13:40
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Re: Domestic Violence

With a dependant B permit, her husband cannot just send her away without first getting a divorce. Its an empty threat. Make sure she can keep all original documents such as her passport, her permit, marriage certificate, in a safe place which her husband cannot access. If possible, she should get hold of copies of her husband's passport or permit. These documents would have been part of her dependent visa application from India, and she might have them.

If she can then start to live separately from her husband, under the aegis of a womens shelter or such, maybe her mental shape improves enough to find a job, and as others have said, the authorities might let her live on in Switzerland by herself. Living separately on her own without the backing of a social organisation might raise suspicions of marriage fraud with the authorities.

Edit: She has more rights than she knows. Even if she leaves him and goes back to India, no way will the Swiss authorities allow him to remarry unless he can prove he is first divorced. They do not recognise polygamy. Unfortunately Indian institutions are prone to bribery, and there have been cases of courts issuing divorce decrees without the other spouse even knowing. So going to some womens organisation which can then inform the authorities if needed of her husbands doings is important.

Last edited by Kosti; 18.11.2014 at 14:52.
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Old 18.11.2014, 14:09
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Re: Domestic Violence

your friend is lucky she has your help and support. Remember it's not always so easy for women to just walk away, there are so many factors and giving only that push could be counter productive. Does she have her own accounts/money? There is a lot of things she could do now that would make it easier down the road to get away.

Some amazing resources are out there but she has to be ready to access them. Facebook has opened it up for many private groups to exist, maybe there is one with women from her culture who have been through this? I would be shocked if there isn't one out there.
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Old 18.11.2014, 14:30
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Re: Domestic Violence

Becaus of the social stigma involved, or the social classes within a cultural group, women find more solidarity with other women who are from a different cultural background. Do not assume that she has to have support from a service that matches her culture. But yes, the women's refuge is the right point of contact for her, and it is not automatic that she can stay forever, but she has time if she has a dependent NOn-eu B permit then she should have the option of trying to find herself a job and if she would begin separation/divorce proceedings in switzerland there are a lot of things to protect her.

Has she informed her family about the abuse? Some parents can be extremely supportive, and others not, but it may be a risk worth taking...

She may even be able to pressure him (under the swiss legal system) to leave the house and to pay for her living costs. It does depend on what she wants.

Unfortunately, an abuser is hardly likely to give an apology, and the idea that she can 'save face' in a cultural way, may be unattainable... But she does have a lot of rights and freedoms in Switzerland which would be different to the Indian way of resolving these sorts of problems...

The question is, what sort of life does she want and what is she prepared to give up for the sake of her own safety and freedom?
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Old 19.11.2014, 13:50
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Re: Domestic Violence

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Becaus of the social stigma involved, or the social classes within a cultural group, women find more solidarity with other women who are from a different cultural background. Do not assume that she has to have support from a service that matches her culture.
I really don't understand this insistence that Europeans have about preserving culture. I really don't think that many people care all that much about preserving culture or getting help in line with their culture. Some people are extremely uncomfortable within their own birth cultures and left that country to get away from it.
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Old 19.11.2014, 14:34
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Re: Domestic Violence

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I really don't understand this insistence that Europeans have about preserving culture. I really don't think that many people care all that much about preserving culture or getting help in line with their culture. Some people are extremely uncomfortable within their own birth cultures and left that country to get away from it.

That was my point, although the women's refuge may be able to offer an interpreter if language is a barrier, some women find it very liberating to meet women who have a very different view of themselves and their place in society...who can validate their esperiences and reject the negative aspects of one's own culture.
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Old 21.11.2014, 18:39
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Re: Domestic Violence

Try getting in touch with the Hospice General, they are very helpful in all ways.
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Old 29.04.2016, 21:56
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Re: Domestic Violence

Just heard this afternoon that the ex. wife of a couple we used to be fairly close to as friends some years ago was constantly being beaten up by her husband. It's not that I'm shocked about another case of domestic violence, it's just that I thought I knew both of them pretty well. I ran a lot with the husband over the years, often for hours at a time. We spoke just about everything there was to talk about, his alcoholism, how he overcame it and the whole raising kids thing.

So it turns out he had a violent temper and beat the crap out of his much younger wife whenever she didn't quite meet his expectations, whatever that means. And their son was witness to at least one beating that led to his mom almost losing her sight, but she blamed it on some wasting disease and no one questioned her deeper.

The point of this post is this people. I thought I was a decent judge of character and I've been know to mediate in many situations, but I didn't see this couple for what they were; a violent thug and a victim. A victim who didn't turn to us or anyone else amongst her friends for reasons only she knows. Her sight might be saved, the ex. husband is back on the bottle and I feel like I let down a friend. Look after those you can help, and if you're the victim, please go tell someone, confide in a friend, because whatever you think you may have done to become the victim, it's just not right and there's never an excuse to be physically abused.
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