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Old 07.04.2015, 16:39
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Food: A very picky son

My 4 years old is very picky with food. He will eat fruits, milk, cereals, the usual junk, pasta (no sauce) rice, plain chicken, meat and sausages.

He refuses to eat anything that is mixed together, no vegetables, no potatoes (unless they are French fries) no cheese, etc, etc, etc.

It drives us crazy. We tried everything. His sister eats everything and tries everything. The rules is to try and decide if you don't like it from there, but try.

It doesn't work with my son. You can promise him chocolate, play time with the iPad, anything he loves, the world, etc. he still won't try it.

He will prefer not to eat than trying something.

I tend to cook around it because poor thing, he won't eat a thing, bla bla bla.. I know....

He can go easily without eating a meal at all just to stand his ground.

Anyone parent out there who have or had a picky eater? What can we do?
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Old 07.04.2015, 16:43
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Re: Food: A very picky son

Food and toilet training are the 2 best tools our kids can use to put pressure on us, and boy, do they know it!

My eldest is a picky eater too. I just let him be. In the end, he won't let himself starve! He wants to eat, fine. He doesn't, fine too. But he can't have cookies one hour after mealtime because he's hungry!

Usually, that kind of behaviour is best ignored, it's the most efficient.
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Old 07.04.2015, 16:48
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Re: Food: A very picky son

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Food and toilet training are the 2 best tools our kids can use to put pressure on us, and boy, do they know it!

My eldest is a picky eater too. I just let him be. In the end, he won't let himself starve! He wants to eat, fine. He doesn't, fine too. But he can't have cookies one hour after mealtime because he's hungry!

Usually, that kind of behaviour is best ignored, it's the most efficient.
Thanks for the reply.

Yes, but do you cook something else for him? Let's say you want to have lasagna and obviously, he won't have it. Tough love and you'll eat tomorrow or you do something else for him? I hate to let him has his way but I don't want him to starve either.

So far, the only way I make him eat vegetables is in a cream veggie soup I do and I tell him it's chicken soup.
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Old 07.04.2015, 16:59
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Re: Food: A very picky son

Both of mine are rubbish at eating veg! In fact both often just don't want to eat, like they are just not hungry. We've tried all sorts to "make them eat" but now we just sort of leave them to it.
They don't eat crap in between but sometimes one or both will just sit there and play with the food. If they havn't eaten by the time I'm finished it goes in the bin.

The only time now I might make something else is if they have been ill or sick or something and I think they really need fed.

We have same rule too, try it and decide if you like .. Works with the 5yr old but 2yr old decides by looking, not tasting!

I think unless they are sick, it's not worth the stress of fighting over it.
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Old 07.04.2015, 17:03
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Re: Food: A very picky son

When we were children we learned very quickly not to be picky with our food - you don't like it, you go with out. No excuses.

As soon as you make an exception you create a precedent - and that path leads to madness.
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Old 07.04.2015, 17:08
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Re: Food: A very picky son

From what you say he will eat, he is getting a balanced diet.

My son would only eat cheese & potato pie and pasta for years and after taking him to the Drs as he would not eat anything else he assured me not to worry as he was getting the protein and carbs that he needed- he also felt that it could be due to his dyspraxia as that affects the mouth muscles. I just had to make that for him and try and introduce different things.

Fast forward 25 years and he is now 6 ft 3'' strapping guy!!!!
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Old 07.04.2015, 17:16
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Re: Food: A very picky son

I remember my younger brother (bit of an age gap, so I was able to take note).

For a long time - at about the same age - he wouldn't eat anything that my mother gave him ...... apart from basic cheese/tomato cardboard pizza from the freezer, and Bourbon biscuits.

He didn't die, get more sick than any other kids, nor was he pale or sick or weedy; and is now in his mid forties - and probably carrying a bit more weight around, than he'd like. Don't think he eats many green veggies, still, though.

It all sorts out in the wash.


Afterthought: vegetable (breadcrumbed) nuggets (mine come from Aldi and are quite tasty). Obviously a processed food that has been fried (before freezing and packing), so not the healthiest option, but can be 'cooked' in the oven to avoid further frying. A good way of getting them used to veggies, without too much of the vegetable bitterness, which we're all preconditioned to reject at a young age.

Last edited by TiMow; 07.04.2015 at 17:38.
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Old 07.04.2015, 17:22
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Re: Food: A very picky son

I was the same when I was little. Had a very limited but (thankfully) reasonably balanced diet. My parents did try but I was also quite stubborn. Maybe they could have been tougher. But I imagine it is quite difficult.
I do remember being genuinely scared when visiting restaurants or people's homes, since I really didn't like eating my select foods, school dinner were an absolute NO, my biggest fear was forgetting my lunch box. I have quite vivid memories of having to eat vegetables and having the "gulps" for each mouthful.

It must have been psychological, can't really explain it.

It took me until I was about 10 until I was willing to try other foods and 11 or 12 until I would tolerate them. From there I tentatively started eating other foods more and more, I think this was because I didn't want to look silly at high school. Some things were an acquired taste, others were instantly delicous eg Pizza. Pizza was gateway to other foods, ie vegetable toppings. Cheesy tomatoey pasta, other pasta dishes etc.

Now I will eat pretty much anything, (though I still dont really like vegetables!)

But it took a long time. You might need to be tougher on hime and not give in, send him to bed on an empty stomach for a few nights. Don't think my parents had the will for this..
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Old 07.04.2015, 17:28
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Re: Food: A very picky son

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My 4 years old is very picky with food. He will eat fruits, milk, cereals, the usual junk, pasta (no sauce) rice, plain chicken, meat and sausages.
Did someone clone my younger son?? Don't worry too much about your youngster; as other posters say, he will not starve himself, and years on, I can assure you that our now strapping teen is extending his range of acceptable foods all the time, including veg and spicy items, but with the notable exception (it has to be said) of spawn of the devil (fresh tomato) and that alien species mushrooms. He has never had a separate meal cooked for him, though I have tried to accommodate him at mealtimes by cooking stuff I know he will eat 2 or 3 times a week for the whole family; if he declines a meal, he may have fruit or raw veg to eat but nothing else till the next meal.

I hope that helps and eases a bit of worry.

Hobs
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Old 07.04.2015, 17:32
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Re: Food: A very picky son

Sounds like me till this day.
My wife is going mad about it. My rents also tried everything when younger with me but to no avail.
MY sauces also had to be pureed at all times. One solid chunk and I would not eat it ( I still pick them out today ...I know)

I eat no veggies/fruit etc.

Recently my wife MADE me drink a veggie smoothie based on kale. But she also threw a banana in it making it taste like that. I now drink 2 of those a day to get my veggie dose in. Might be a trick . You can also freeze them and make a lolly out of them making it a fun snack.
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Old 07.04.2015, 17:34
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Re: Food: A very picky son

A general principle of parenthood - only pick fights with your kids that you are sure you will win.

I would feed him the same as everyone else, but allow him to leave the bits he doesn't like, and next time don't put them on his plate. Absolute no special treatment. If you want to wind him up, everyone now and then steal the food that he does like (like fries) off his plate... It's good to remind him who's in control.
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Old 07.04.2015, 17:42
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Re: Food: A very picky son

I would not eat something I don't like and have never done so.
I believe the best approach to be to offer several different foods (which you planned to prepare anyway) which are largely healthy. If he eats - no matter how much - fine. If he doesn't eat, he has to wait until the next planned meal. In between he gets water/unsweetened tea/raw veggies (perhaps with a dip) and that's it.

Make healthy foods extra appealing and show him that you like them without exaggerating - perhaps he'll one day take a bite and think "oh wow, this DOES taste good..."
If he tastes foods and dislikes them, don't stop offering them, but (as with all other foods and drinks) don't force him. Perhaps he'll taste again and like things after the fifth (wanted!) taste.

As for drinks I would be strict and only offer water with or without bubbles during meals. Milk is for breakfast.

I wouldn't use sweets as a bribe or as a treat - but as a normal everyday part of the meal. You eat a full plate of dinner - you get a full portion of dessert. You eat half of your plate of dinner - you get half a portion of dessert. If dessert is plain fruits, receiving the full portion without eating dinner IMO is acceptable.

As for sweet drinks, set an example - drink them as often as you want your kids to drink them. Don't stock them if you'd rather they only be consumed on special occasions.

Also, letting kids serve themselves and telling them (without piling foods on their serving spoons) that they can take another serving later after having finished the one they (not you) put on their plate, and never making them empty their plates helps them develop healthy fullness and hunger signals and thus IMO avoid development of eating disorders.
This ability probably won't develop from one second to the next, but it will happen.

I believe people including kids will automatically eat and drink what and how much their body needs - even if they spend weeks living on pasta before they take a bite of carrot. If you're concerned about nutritional imbalances, take him to the doc to have him checked, if doc says he's fine don't worry about what he eats. It'll work out.

ETA: What I consider very beneficial in development of the culinary palate is involvement in food preparation. Let him cut up fruits, stir sauces, mix batters, spice foods, nibble a fruit slice - all under your supervision, of course - but then tell him that "his" food is yummy during the meal and ask him if he'd like to do it again.

Last edited by glowjupiter; 07.04.2015 at 17:58.
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Old 07.04.2015, 17:46
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Re: Food: A very picky son

I know you`re all MUCH younger than me - and serve "different" foods to what I grew up with - but can comment on what I`ve observed with my own children growing up, and now grandchildren ..... they all seem to hate cooked vegetables!

Being brain-washed into the belief that "vegetables are good for you", I`d offer the raw veges as they were being prepared, a raw carrot, some green beans, a piece of this or that etc, and these were enjoyed, but NOT cooked veges on dinner plate! Slices of raw veges with a dip were enjoyed at dinner table.

The same would happen with fruit ....... a whole fruit would be half-eaten, but a slice of fruit is guzzled happily.

Maybe little kids know something we don`t know? They do not have to taste it to know they don`t want it? A secret thought of mine is that perhaps we do them a dis-service by forcing them to eat it? I`d hate someone to tell me what I "must" eat.

All is cured when they grow up and they decide for themselves anyway.

(My own parents would put very teeny weeny helpings of the "hated" veges on our plates, telling us we could not have more even if we wanted it .... spinach, turnips, etc, and we enjoyed the taste with the boring stuff like rice/potatoes - so us oldies grew up not being fussy at all, just grateful for the food).

Some children just do not like "non-identifiable mish-mashes" of foods, so don`t give it to them, maybe hold some fillings out to serve seperately?

But rest assured, self-preservation is a VERY strong instinct, so as long as hunger is not satisfied with junk foods, they won`t perish from malnutrition. But certainly do not go out of your way to prepare seperate dishes!
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Old 07.04.2015, 18:01
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Re: Food: A very picky son

What about getting him to help you in the kitchen? Does he show more interest in eating things when he has had a hand in making it or seen all the bits put together?

Admittedly I have no experience in this doman - we let our (almost) 18 month old try anything that she shows an interest in eating (saves tantrums when we say that she can't have something she reaches for). This has been a complete eat-opener - no obvious reaction to something containing chilli, and will eat anything we put in front of her. Granted when she reached for a wasabi peanut the other day we were a little hesistant so just touched it to her lip......a look of complete shock past over her face, but she didn't cry or get upset at all......and reached for them again 5 minutes later
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Old 07.04.2015, 18:12
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Re: Food: A very picky son

I would add ignore the "I don't like it" list. Don't repeat to other people "he doesn't like that" etc. The kid will probably forget they said they didn't like it but if you list back what they say they don't like, that list will stick. And just serve it up naturally a week later or something without making a fuss.
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Old 07.04.2015, 18:28
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Re: Food: A very picky son


I remember my son as a baby having a similar reaction, and then asking for more...

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I would not eat something I don't like and have never done so. ...
Then chances are you're missing out. As a child I really didn't like cheese or egg, to the extent the taste made me nauseous. As an adult, I gave them a second chance and really enjoy them.

I remember reading somewhere that our tastes change over time, so it's worth trying food you don't like after a few years, just on the off-chance that it suddenly becomes delicious.
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Old 07.04.2015, 18:36
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Re: Food: A very picky son

He will cries his eyes out for one bite of something new. It's a constant battle. We eat mostly salads at night with proteins. Since he doesn't want to try veggies, I am stuck with rice and pasta.

My problem is the lack of options for him, I don't know what to serve him anymore.

Edit: if the rice is a different color then white, he won't touch it.
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Old 07.04.2015, 18:36
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Re: Food: A very picky son

My daughter was a picky eater.

If she saw even the smallest fragment of anything remotely resembling a bit of onion or those horror of horrors peppers on her plate, the whole meal was rejected..

But Play-doh on the floor, somehow this was no problem!
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Old 07.04.2015, 18:45
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Re: Food: A very picky son

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He will cries his eyes out for one bite of something new. It's a constant battle. We eat mostly salads at night with proteins. Since he doesn't want to try veggies, I am stuck with rice and pasta.

My problem is the lack of options for him, I don't know what to serve him anymore.

Edit: if the rice is a different color then white, he won't touch it.
So the precedent is set. He doesn't like what you eat - you'll make him something he wants. You're going to have to stick to your guns and let him suffer.

If he kicks up a fuss at the table he gets removed to the naughty step/his room.

The instinct to consume food will eventually win through - you have to tough it out.
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Old 07.04.2015, 19:11
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Re: Food: A very picky son

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He will cries his eyes out for one bite of something new. It's a constant battle. We eat mostly salads at night with proteins. Since he doesn't want to try veggies, I am stuck with rice and pasta.

My problem is the lack of options for him, I don't know what to serve him anymore.

Edit: if the rice is a different color then white, he won't touch it.

The rice comment made me laugh as just this evening cooking the kids dinner i added turmeric to the water and rice while it was cooking(to make it slightly healthier!) however my extremly fussy son refused point blank to even try the "yellow" rice. He is exactly like your son and eats the same limited foods and no sauce. My daughter will eat and try almost anything. I dont fight him anymore as i think there is nothing worse then forcing a child to eatvsomething they dont like.
However i am extremely strict with what he does eat as its so limited. He is rarely allowed juice or sweet things and his diet is all organic. I hide veg where i can(eg, blended in pizza sauce)then he happily spoons the "plain" tomato sauce on his home made pizza dough. I also make juice lollies with hidden veg which they have as treats after dinner. He loves my zucchini brownies that we sometimes make.( I promise you cant taste the courgettes with all the cocoa powder!) when we make chicken nuggets i add parsley to the breadcrumbs and just say its green salt etc...
I remember someone once told me not to look at what they consume each day but over a whole week and you will then see its not as bad as you think it is. I know its extremely frustrating but am sure that in a few years they will grow out of it!(hopefully!)
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