Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Help & tips > Family matters/health
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #41  
Old 26.05.2015, 19:04
amaraya's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: lausanne
Posts: 2,237
Groaned at 20 Times in 9 Posts
Thanked 2,845 Times in 1,204 Posts
amaraya has a reputation beyond reputeamaraya has a reputation beyond reputeamaraya has a reputation beyond reputeamaraya has a reputation beyond reputeamaraya has a reputation beyond reputeamaraya has a reputation beyond repute
Re: 8 year old scared my 6 year old. What should we do?

i agree in the fact that these kinds of things are not new, just perhaps we hear more about them now on a bigger scale, whereas before they would have been dealt with (and/or kept quiet) between the parents, schools etc.

that being said, there are two issues here- the first is the sexual nature of what the boy said and tried, and the second being the fact that despite your little one saying no and trying to get away, he wouldn't let her. both are scary but the first issue is something the parents have to deal with seriously (he must hear/be exposed to certain language or images to know this or even try this at a young age) and the school itself needs to keep a watchful eye on this child in case it is something he may have tried before or will try again.

certainly, in terms of forcing yourself on someone and listening to the words of others there is a problem that would really bother me as a parent. i would talk to the school and make sure that they are very strongly discussing communication and respecting others with the children- perhaps they need to start to teach the kids there how to respect others and listen/act towards others because there is at least this one child who isn't getting this at home (or just doesn't get it in general). it sounds like you are doing everything right for your little one, in any case and your priority is her, though again, i would stress the fact that the care takers themselves may need to really facilitate something with the kids to learn, understand and respect other peoples boundaries. unfortunately, it isn't taught or shown in many households and children often do as they see, so in the school community it is up to the adults to make that an important point for all of the kids.

good luck...
__________________
'there isn't enough of anything as long as we live.
but at intervals a sweetness appears and, given a chance prevails'
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank amaraya for this useful post:
  #42  
Old 26.05.2015, 21:15
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Albisrieden
Posts: 3,832
Groaned at 93 Times in 62 Posts
Thanked 5,376 Times in 2,002 Posts
nickatbasel has a reputation beyond reputenickatbasel has a reputation beyond reputenickatbasel has a reputation beyond reputenickatbasel has a reputation beyond reputenickatbasel has a reputation beyond reputenickatbasel has a reputation beyond repute
Re: 8 year old scared my 6 year old. What should we do?

It has everything to do with the school - or whoever runs the Hort where the incident took place as OP's daughter was legally under their care at the time.

Quote:
View Post
I don't see how the kindergarten/school had anything to do with this, nor needs to take responsibility.
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank nickatbasel for this useful post:
  #43  
Old 27.05.2015, 00:14
MsWorWoo's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Zürich Nord
Posts: 1,485
Groaned at 47 Times in 27 Posts
Thanked 2,215 Times in 867 Posts
MsWorWoo has a reputation beyond reputeMsWorWoo has a reputation beyond reputeMsWorWoo has a reputation beyond reputeMsWorWoo has a reputation beyond reputeMsWorWoo has a reputation beyond reputeMsWorWoo has a reputation beyond repute
Re: 8 year old scared my 6 year old. What should we do?

It seems that, apart from not sleeping and a reluctance to go to hort, my daughter is acting the same as normal (actually, not sleeping and reluctance to go to hort are notcompletly abnormal for her). she did not shy away or be overly concerned by the boy's presence.
The boy, whist generally naughty, has notbeen mean to girls or used sexual language before. The older brother is a really good lad and the parents seem caring but firm, especially with him.
I did have to complain that the morganhort were not informed as they get annoyed with my daughter being clingy in the mornings and I had to explain the reason for her clinging whilst she was clinging, and I do not want to make the incident more in her mind than she thinks it is.

Being a single parent is not easy, these are the kind of things you need a partner around to discuss. But you guys mostly did a good job.
Reply With Quote
The following 9 users would like to thank MsWorWoo for this useful post:
  #44  
Old 27.05.2015, 08:43
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Zurich
Posts: 236
Groaned at 11 Times in 9 Posts
Thanked 202 Times in 116 Posts
tigereyeali has made some interesting contributions
Re: 8 year old scared my 6 year old. What should we do?

WTF is EF turned into, all I see is how boys and men cant keep it in their pants...


First this (http://www.englishforum.ch/family-ma...ml#post2395403) post and now and 8 year old child molester...

Last edited by tigereyeali; 27.05.2015 at 09:18.
Reply With Quote
  #45  
Old 27.05.2015, 09:36
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: ZH
Posts: 1,467
Groaned at 7 Times in 7 Posts
Thanked 2,230 Times in 824 Posts
doropfiz has a reputation beyond reputedoropfiz has a reputation beyond reputedoropfiz has a reputation beyond reputedoropfiz has a reputation beyond reputedoropfiz has a reputation beyond reputedoropfiz has a reputation beyond repute
Re: 8 year old scared my 6 year old. What should we do?

Quote:
View Post
I do not want to make the incident more in her mind than she thinks it is.

Being a single parent is not easy, these are the kind of things you need a partner around to discuss. But you guys mostly did a good job.
Well done!
If I had been in your shoes, when I first found out what happened, I would have been shocked, scared and unhappy.

Your immediate reflex to protect your daughter, your readiness to deal with the other adults concerned, and also that you gathered some advice (and company) while thinking things through, also in this cultural context... show that you are determined to be a good parent.

And I think you've managed it well by not making a huuuuuuge drama of it (and thereby imprinting it on Daughter's brain, when it might, in fact, be a once-only event which she doesn't need to remember for all her life) while still being alert and calling the matter to the Hort leaders' attention.

Yes, I definitely agree that you'd probably do your daughter a favour by getting her into some sort of self-defence class, or a related sport which will help to develop her confidence. However, it needn't be, in her mind, as a result of this incident. Better, in fact, if when she is 12 she is pleased that when she was 7 she learnt these skills, than that her memory becomes that because she was "attacked" at Hort, she was "forced" to go to these horrible karate lessons.

Well done for not inadvertenly mixing up your own feelings with those of your daughter, for being able, and willling, to distinguish between your daughter's needs and your own.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank doropfiz for this useful post:
  #46  
Old 27.05.2015, 09:39
MidfieldGeneral's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Zürich
Posts: 1,415
Groaned at 54 Times in 51 Posts
Thanked 2,572 Times in 1,083 Posts
MidfieldGeneral has a reputation beyond reputeMidfieldGeneral has a reputation beyond reputeMidfieldGeneral has a reputation beyond reputeMidfieldGeneral has a reputation beyond reputeMidfieldGeneral has a reputation beyond reputeMidfieldGeneral has a reputation beyond repute
Re: 8 year old scared my 6 year old. What should we do?

Sorry to hear about this OP

fwiw I agree wth the post upthread that you should let the school deal with it and try and comfort your daughter. In the meantime make a note of all the times and dates and if you dont get any help from the school then you have the facts fresh in your mind if you want to take further action.

Good luck and hope it all works out for you. As Sutter says sexual abuse at any age is unacceptable and should be dealt with quickly
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank MidfieldGeneral for this useful post:
Reply




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Should we move our 16 year old to a Swiss school? still game Introductions 47 18.01.2015 07:12
8 year old won't talk at school - what to do? JCBInGenf Family matters/health 10 02.10.2012 17:22
integrating a one year old and a two year old in Swiss life moonshine Family matters/health 13 22.11.2010 23:57
Should I send a two year old to daycare? Loverlover Family matters/health 30 20.11.2010 19:13
old man threatens to hit my 3 year old! twiglet Complaints corner 106 16.11.2008 13:43


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 04:02.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0