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Old 20.06.2015, 01:18
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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Mountains...molehills...

Is the person any good as a coach? The most important part I think.

If you think your daughter is going to ask questions, or is asking questions then spend some time explaining to her about transsexuality. As a parent you get kids asking all kinds of awkward and embarrassing questions. Just take it in your stride.

The fact that someone is openly LGBT does not mean they are a threat to your child. Quite the opposite in my opinion.

Cheers,
Nick

I do not think this person is a threat to my child. What the core problem is here is that I would have much rather discussed this issue with my daughter at a time I felt appropriate and not because the issue is being forced upon us.
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  #42  
Old 20.06.2015, 01:19
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Re: Transexual as a coach

Your daughter does not know the coach has a penis. To the kids she is a coach, as long as she can do her job, fine. End of.
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  #43  
Old 20.06.2015, 01:20
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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You can call her a women as much as you like and he can take as many hormones and undergo as many cosmetic surgeries as he like it will never ever change who he is.


And what does his cosmetic surgery and what the color of his nails will be next week have to do with Volleyball? He can discuss this with his friends but not a bunch of 8-12 year old who he just met.
If what you allege is that the individual directly raises the matter of transexuality with the children, then perhaps she's done something wrong as it wouldn't be relevant to volleyball. But if the only issue is that she is wearing nail varnish or female clothing whilst coaching, then it's simply not an issue.
Your job as a parent is to answer the questions that your child poses you in a manner that will enable your child to understand the world in which they live. You cannot expect someone with gender dysphoria to hide themself simply because you fear your child may be prompted to ask questions with which you are not comfortable.
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  #44  
Old 20.06.2015, 01:31
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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Your daughter does not know the coach has a penis. To the kids she is a coach, as long as she can do her job, fine. End of.
Are you kidding me? He is a man. They can clearly see that. And I sure hope all these 8-12 year olds are not concerned whether he has a penis at this age.
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  #45  
Old 20.06.2015, 01:33
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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I do not think this person is a threat to my child. What the core problem is here is that I would have much rather discussed this issue with my daughter at a time I felt appropriate and not because the issue is being forced upon us.
Why is it not appropriate? Your daughter is 8-12. My daughter has known a transexual all her life, never been an issue, never been inappropriate. Maybe because she has known my friend all her life we have never actually discussed transexuality, it's just normal to my daughter that my friend is a very tall, very strong woman with a deep voice, and she doesn't see that she used to have a penis. She is a woman, and has always been a woman as far as we are all concerned, despite the Y-chromosome and the born with a penis thing.
Get over it and concentrate on the real issue. Is she a good volleyball coach?
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  #46  
Old 20.06.2015, 01:48
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Re: Transexual as a coach

If your daughter finds it a problem, then discuss it with her. If not, don't go poking a wasps' nest.

Children are going to encounter different situations at different times of their lives. I'm quite sure your child is going to bring up other issues at unexpected and inconvenient times - like coming home drunk, or choosing to date a boyfriend you can't stand etc etc.

It is the job of the parent to deal with such situations in inventive ways.

Cheers,
Nick

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I do not think this person is a threat to my child. What the core problem is here is that I would have much rather discussed this issue with my daughter at a time I felt appropriate and not because the issue is being forced upon us.
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  #47  
Old 20.06.2015, 01:49
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Re: Transexual as a coach

Most men are equipped with a penis from a very young age.

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Are you kidding me? He is a man. They can clearly see that. And I sure hope all these 8-12 year olds are not concerned whether he has a penis at this age.
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  #48  
Old 20.06.2015, 01:52
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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Why is it not appropriate? Your daughter is 8-12. My daughter has known a transexual all her life, never been an issue, never been inappropriate. Maybe because she has known my friend all her life we have never actually discussed transexuality, it's just normal to my daughter that my friend is a very tall, very strong woman with a deep voice, and she doesn't see that she used to have a penis. She is a woman, and has always been a woman as far as we are all concerned, despite the Y-chromosome and the born with a penis thing.
Get over it and concentrate on the real issue. Is she a good volleyball coach?

It is not appropriate as my daughter is too young to understand what is going on. And as I said, if the person was transitioned then it would not be a problem. Your daughter has never discussed transexuality with you as she has never had to face it. I do not want to teach my daughter that people who are transsexuals are bad, I want to teach her that they are human beings and should be respected like everyone else, but it doesn't mean I have to agree with their lifestyle.
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  #49  
Old 20.06.2015, 01:57
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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If your daughter finds it a problem, then discuss it with her. If not, don't go poking a wasps' nest.

Children are going to encounter different situations at different times of their lives. I'm quite sure your child is going to bring up other issues at unexpected and inconvenient times - like coming home drunk, or choosing to date a boyfriend you can't stand etc etc.

It is the job of the parent to deal with such situations in inventive ways.

Cheers,
Nick

Clearly issue I hope to deal with much later in her life. Like her teenage years and not her childhood.
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Old 20.06.2015, 02:01
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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It is not appropriate as my daughter is too young to understand what is going on. And as I said, if the person was transitioned then it would not be a problem. Your daughter has never discussed transexuality with you as she has never had to face it. I do not want to teach my daughter that people who are transsexuals are bad, I want to teach her that they are human beings and should be respected like everyone else, but it doesn't mean I have to agree with their lifestyle.
Lifestyle? I'm afraid you've severely misunderstood something. Being transgender is a phenomenon known as gender dysphoria or gender identity disorder. A lifestyle is being a vegetarian, or being a church-going Christian. Being transgender is not any more a conscious choice than being of a particular skin colour.
Will you complain about seeing refugees out and about on the grounds that your daughter is not of sufficient age to discuss wars and the population displacements they cause?
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Old 20.06.2015, 02:01
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Re: Transexual as a coach

I have personal friends who have brought children up within a LGBT relationship. It happens. The children from such relationships are in no way damaged by their upbringing.

10 is not too young to start understanding the ways of the world.

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It is not appropriate as my daughter is too young to understand what is going on.
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  #52  
Old 20.06.2015, 02:03
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Re: Transexual as a coach

You're dodging the point now.

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Clearly issue I hope to deal with much later in her life. Like her teenage years and not her childhood.
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Old 20.06.2015, 02:23
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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I would have much rather discussed this issue with my daughter at a time I felt appropriate and not because the issue is being forced upon us.
Well, this is just something we call life, it comes when it comes. The only thing you have to do is to listen carefully to what and how your daughter is talking and recognize what questions she has explicitly or implicitly so that you can supply the answers the way you feel is right.

Same when children discover a black student in their kindergarten class first day after the summer, nobody would demand to get a phone call beforehand to do the skin colour talk "at a time you felt appropriate".

The appropriate time to answer children's questions is whenever they pup up. Just follow the flow of life and ride the wave of parenting. No stress.

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but it doesn't mean I have to agree with their lifestyle.
What is that supposed to mean? What is a transexual lifestyle? Do you think that being transexual means that you can't have just any kind of different lifestyle different transexuals chose from? Do all men have the same life style? Do all women have the same life style? Why should transexuals have a certain life style and not just a whole range of possible life styles depending on people as individuals, not transsexuality?
No wonder you don't feel comfortable to talk to your daughter, you need to get informed first. Big time.
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  #54  
Old 20.06.2015, 02:52
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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You can call her a women as much as you like and he can take as many hormones and undergo as many cosmetic surgeries as he like it will never ever change who he is.
Now I'm getting confused, I thought you said you'd be OK with her once the transition was complete....
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Old 20.06.2015, 08:14
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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I do not think this person is a threat to my child. What the core problem is here is that I would have much rather discussed this issue with my daughter at a time I felt appropriate and not because the issue is being forced upon us.
Oh, good god. You've got your head in the sand and life happened before you got around to explaining it to your kid; go figure.

What half the posters on this board are trying to explain to you is that you are lying to yourself by openly discriminating yet claiming not to discriminate (re-read your posts; it becomes more apparent as you go along). You cannot effectively teach your daughter anything about "issues" like this if you're dishonest with yourself.
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Old 20.06.2015, 08:50
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Re: Transexual as a coach

Thread has delivered beyond all wild expectations, and OP has now achieved legendary status among EF closet bigots.

5*, would read again.
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Old 20.06.2015, 08:59
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Re: Transexual as a coach

You should see their decathlon coach....


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Old 20.06.2015, 09:28
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Re: Transexual as a coach

I'm confused. I thought all men had fingernails. Or is it just me?

When I was about 10 (a looooooooooooooooooooooooooong time ago, before toleration was invented) there was a transsexual teacher at school. As I recall most of us kids thought - oh that's a bit unusual. It didn't cause us any problems or anything, so I don't know why Gumby is concerned. Kids are generally quite accepting. It's only when they hit their teens that they start beating up fags, queers, darkies, ities and folk from Neasden. (Unless they've already been sensitised to intolerance at home). Any beating up before then is simply due to the victim being seen as "other", rather than due to a specific identity.

btw, I used to think that gender was simply a matter of XY and XX chromosomes. However, if you look into it, you'll find it's rather more complicated than that. There are people who are XY who are born with lady bits, for example.
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Old 20.06.2015, 09:39
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Re: Transexual as a coach

So OP, how did your kid react?? Did she make an issue of this or is it you?
Normally kids are quite understanding and accept a lot of things if you do not blow it up as a parent.

I can only say that I am happy to see that people can live their lifes as they want. I had a family member who probably had the same story but could not live her life as she wanted because it was totally unacceptable at the time.
Good for the trainer to do what he/she wants and needs.
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Old 20.06.2015, 09:40
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Re: Transexual as a coach

Is it weird of me to be slightly jealous of a real teachable moment. I am trying to bring my kids up to be universally open and not to have any preconceptions about people if they happen to be different from them. I don't use the word tolerant as that suggests that there is something to be tolerated rather than just accepted as part of that person. We live in a quiet, rural village so we don't get many teachable moments in our personal day to day lives but when we see one we grab it. A good friend in the UK recently came out and bought a house with her girlfriend - so happy for her and so are the kids. Sure my 8 year old had a few questions but then shrugged his shoulders, said ok, and carried on with his life. It doesn't affect how he sees her all the world - it just is! Same with the pictures of Caitlyn - the kids didn't come across them - she doesn't appear in Minecraft but I used it as an opportunity to broaden their minds to life outside in the real world.
They may raise an eyebrow or look confused but by not dismissing their curiosity, they learn and I hope will be better, kinder, less judgemental people.
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