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  #61  
Old 20.06.2015, 09:43
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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Is it weird of me to be slightly jealous of a real teachable moment.
I was thinking the same thing, it's a golden opportunity for any parent.

However, the OP's children will probably already have subconsciously noticed his reaction and guarded comments and be a little confused as to why papi isn't happy about it...
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Old 20.06.2015, 09:57
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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I was thinking the same thing, it's a golden opportunity for any parent.

However, the OP's children will probably already have subconsciously noticed his reaction and guarded comments and be a little confused as to why papi isn't happy about it...
And that's how the lovely cycle of bigotry and intolerance continues...

What a depressing thread.
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  #63  
Old 20.06.2015, 10:12
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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It is not appropriate as my daughter is too young to understand what is going on. And as I said, if the person was transitioned then it would not be a problem. Your daughter has never discussed transexuality with you as she has never had to face it. I do not want to teach my daughter that people who are transsexuals are bad, I want to teach her that they are human beings and should be respected like everyone else, but it doesn't mean I have to agree with their lifestyle.
Too young? Children are never too young to understand people are different.
For example, my child met her first little person at 4 years old, it was hard for me to explain because obviously she didn't understand what growth hormones and genetics were, but I was able to explain that he was a person like everyone else, just one that didn't grow the same. Should I have complained that I had to explain things to my child that I didn't think she would understand yet and ask him not to talk to my daughter or should I have done what I did, and explain that everyone is different? It made it a lot easier when she met her second little person 6 months later, she just turned to me and said (rather loudly) that man didn't grew the same as the rest of us. He smiled at my blushing.
What about when my daughter first encountered someone with a limb missing?
Or someone stemming (autism?)?
Or someone in a hijab?
Or someone being an arsehole?
Get over it OP, people are different, and your daughter will meet people who are different.
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  #64  
Old 20.06.2015, 10:26
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Re: Transexual as a coach

We all form prejudices in our former years due to influence from peers, parents and the social norms at the time. However social norms never remain norms - they change.

Several times in my years I’ve found myself in circumstances which forced me to re-evaluate what prejudices I had - I like to think of these circumstances as opportunities where I was able to understand and alter my perceptions in a positive way.

Gumby, you could write a letter of complaint, or withdraw your daughter from volleyball practice if it makes you feel better about the situation. Or you could think more positively and take this situation as an opportunity to re-evaluate your feelings about this, and also, more importantly IMO, help your daughter understand the world she’s growing up in.

As NAT says in a post above, It’s likely that she sees this person as, well, a bit funny, and will probably not give much more thought. It is however your daughter and of course you have to do what you feel is best, but just consider that whatever you do or say now will go a long way towards whether she views this as a positive or negative thing.
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  #65  
Old 20.06.2015, 10:27
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Re: Transexual as a coach

Now now, you never know, now that we know that disasters like earthquakes and hurricanes are caused by gay people openly frolicking, perhaps the little tykes could get infected with transgenderism and bring about the apocalypse.
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  #66  
Old 20.06.2015, 10:30
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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Several times in my years I’ve found myself in circumstances which forced me to re-evaluate what prejudices I had - I like to think of these circumstances as opportunities where I was able to understand and alter my perceptions in a positive way.
Well said, what makes one person re-evaluate their opinions and others to cling to firm beliefs.
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  #67  
Old 20.06.2015, 11:48
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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What a depressing thread.
Depressing? Not really. It underscores that people are different, have different opinions and that sometimes reality is not exactly what the newspapers and other media would like you to believe.

Without going into unnecessary detail, I can confirm from personal experience that such situations (although now a part of modern-day society) can be very awkward and until one is confronted with the real-life implications, it is unfair to immediately accuse someone of being prejudiced. At the same time, it is important to judge each person individually.
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  #68  
Old 20.06.2015, 11:58
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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it is unfair to immediately accuse someone of being prejudiced.
Yes and no. I think the point is that we all understand that the prejudices are easy to be had and given by culture and history to us all here, however, the ability to see beyond prejudices and to open our eyes to acceptance and diversity even if we don't always understand it all is a gift EVERYBODY has, we just have to make use of it.

If there is an accusation somewhere, you're right it's unfair to go at the prejudices because we all grew up with them, but it is definitely fair to accuse somebody to willingly wallow in one's prejudices.
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  #69  
Old 20.06.2015, 11:59
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Re: Transexual as a coach

I think your daughter has a great opportunity for learning here, particularly if she were to read this thread. She'd be able to learn that some people, including her dad, wish that the moves towards a more tolerant and open society would be stopped, and that others, also including her dad, are unable to deal with biases and prejudices that were presumably formed in their growing up years.

From this she'll be able to form her own opinions about life and its challenges and how much happier people could be without the intolerance and prejudices displayed by some people.

All of which is good, but sadly the fact that her dad will come out of it looking like a bigot will do no good at all towards a good healthy family environment in the future.
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  #70  
Old 20.06.2015, 12:10
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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Yes and no. I think the point is that we all understand that the prejudices are easy to be had and given by culture and history to us all here, however, the ability to see beyond prejudices and to open our eyes to acceptance and diversity even if we don't always understand it all is a gift EVERYBODY has, we just have to make use of it.

If there is an accusation somewhere, you're right it's unfair to go at the prejudices because we all grew up with them, but it is definitely fair to accuse somebody to willingly wallow in one's prejudices.
Yes and no. I agree with your first paragraph, less so with the second.

But that's all part of diversity!
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Old 20.06.2015, 12:14
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Re: Transexual as a coach

I have been a coach for the local volleyball teenage girl's team. It was hell.

The real issue here is communicating with your child: How does she like volleyball? Does she feel comfortable? Does she like her coaches and teammates? Listen to her answers and make your decisions from them.

And go to the matches if you're really worried. You can meet the assistant coach there.

Remember: your child may also one day choose to transition.
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  #72  
Old 20.06.2015, 12:14
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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Yes and no. I agree with your first paragraph, less so with the second.
Where do you see a difference? It's the same point.
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  #73  
Old 20.06.2015, 12:30
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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Where do you see a difference? It's the same point.
Not really. The first was an eloquently worded description of human nature. The second part of the second paragraph was a tad judgmental. But I'm splitting hairs.
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  #74  
Old 20.06.2015, 12:36
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Re: Transexual as a coach

This a lively one - but a bit late to the party.

Take it away Rog.

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Are there any queers in the theater tonight?
Get them up against the wall!
There's one in the spotlight, he don't look right to me,
Get him up against the wall!
That one looks Jewish!
And that one's a coon!
Who let all of this riff-raff into the room?
There's one smoking a joint,
And another with spots!
If I had my way,
I'd have all of you shot!
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  #75  
Old 20.06.2015, 12:44
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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Not really. The first was an eloquently worded description of human nature. The second part of the second paragraph was a tad judgmental. But I'm splitting hairs.
Yea, first the facts then the evaluation. That's the normal way of making a point around here. One point.
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  #76  
Old 20.06.2015, 13:16
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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Are you kidding me? He is a man. They can clearly see that. And I sure hope all these 8-12 year olds are not concerned whether he has a penis at this age.
Sounds very much like you're the one who has a problem, i'm sure your daughter has already seen a penis at 8 years old, and if she hasn't why not ?

What is the problem with a penis, about 50% of the population has one, and nearly 100% of the population was made with one.

It's about time we got over this and take penises and vaginas as part of us without all this over emphasis on hiding it under the table, it only causes problems later on in life.
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Old 20.06.2015, 13:19
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Re: Transexual as a coach

8-12 is quite late to have not already been told about such things imo. My kids have known about LGBT for as long as they have known about gender, relationships and marriage; it was always explained at the same time.
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  #78  
Old 20.06.2015, 16:01
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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My 10 year old daughter joined a local volleyball club last year for 8-12 year olds. Last week, without any notification, the coach brought in a transsexual to help train the team. The person is currently in transition and will be undergoing the operation next year. I believe the person is under psychological evaluation. This person will now be helping train the team.

Am I asking to much to be informed when there is a new coach ? Is this something that I just have to accept?? What is the norm here in Switzerland?

Please allow me to cut through the PC nonsense that permeates this thread:


Your child is going to encounter a lot of bullshit throughout her life. There are a lot of confused, ill, angry, bitter, sad and deluded people - including, from time to time, us. And that's the most important thing: we are no better than they are. They're human just as we're human, and we're human just as they are.


So your daughter is going to be coached by a bloke who thinks he's a woman. So what? As weirdness goes, this is pretty low on the scale of "discomfort for others". I'd be surprised if his urge to wear makeup or whatever made much difference to his ability to coach a sports team.


Now is an excellent time to teach your daughter two simple principles:


"There's nowt so queer as folk"


and


"Take people as they come"


Good luck!
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  #79  
Old 20.06.2015, 16:34
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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Please allow me to cut through the PC nonsense that permeates this thread
I'm using a Mac; I don't appreciate your prejudice.
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Old 20.06.2015, 17:23
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Re: Transexual as a coach

Does he take showers with them?

Tom
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