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  #161  
Old 21.06.2015, 21:59
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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These guys, would be the most obvious target. PG neglected to mention their religion. Probably thought that it wasn't relevant.
They were Jews though weren't they?
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  #162  
Old 21.06.2015, 22:12
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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They were Jews though weren't they?
Nah, definitely Odile's family, who PG obviously hasn't met.

We've already established that it's impossible to treat people you haven't met with basic human decency and respect, so it stands to reason, don't it?
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  #163  
Old 21.06.2015, 22:28
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Re: Transexual as a coach

Oh dear....

actually, most of my family eat bacon, apart from my nephew in the uk...

and quite a large group in South Africa, Indonesia, Australia and Tasmania.

What is respectful or human to say you'd trust men who wear nail varnish but not those who won't eat bacon- What the heck was that comment about PPG? pray tell. Leave you to it...
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  #164  
Old 21.06.2015, 22:30
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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What is respectful or human to say you'd trust men who wear nail varnish but not those who won't eat bacon-
As I recall it was "bacon sandwich".

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  #165  
Old 21.06.2015, 22:36
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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Oh dear....

actually, most of my family eat bacon, apart from my nephew in the uk...

and quite a large group in South Africa, Indonesia, Australia and Tasmania.

What is respectful or human to say you'd trust men who wear nail varnish but not those who won't eat bacon- What the heck was that comment about PPG? pray tell. Leave you to it...
You just said half your family don't
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  #166  
Old 21.06.2015, 22:39
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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You just said half your family don't
Well, there's the minority who don't eat bacon, then there's another, smaller, minority who don't eat sandwiches. Together they make up 50% of Odile's family.

The other half of the family does not consist of Muslims, Jews, vegetarians, vegans or coeliacs, but may or may not consist of transsexuals, gays or black people.
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  #167  
Old 21.06.2015, 22:40
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Re: Transexual as a coach

I read the full thread. Not sure what i feel more: horny or hungry
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  #168  
Old 21.06.2015, 22:41
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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I read the full thread. Not sure what i feel more: horny or hungry
Would a bacon sandwich satisfy either craving?
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  #169  
Old 21.06.2015, 22:48
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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Would a bacon sandwich satisfy either craving?
Depends on the bacon. And the bread
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  #170  
Old 21.06.2015, 23:01
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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the Welsh who eat haggis.
The Welsh eat haggis, Nicola Sturgeon will be on the rampage

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So who are the non-bacon eaters?
That would be people who don't eat bacon

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half our family do not eat bacon sandwiches
OR
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actually, most of my family eat bacon,
Which is it then Odile
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  #171  
Old 21.06.2015, 23:05
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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You just said half your family don't
Half of her family doesn't but most do.
That's political statistics
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  #172  
Old 21.06.2015, 23:07
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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Personally I'd trust a man wearing nail varnish over someone who won't eat abacon sandwich every time
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Vegetarians.

I don't trust them, either.

Tom
It's not the first time I've seen comments like this! So much veggie discrimination going on!

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I can't ever swallow a bite of tripe or tongue. It just won't go down. Yet I can eat raw sea urchin and live octopus. I would hate to be told I must learn to eat tongue or tripe. I won't.
I just googled tripe. I shall never forgive you!
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  #173  
Old 21.06.2015, 23:18
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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The Welsh eat haggis, Nicola Sturgeon will be on the rampage



That would be people who don't eat bacon


OR


Which is it then Odile
The OH's half, which is smaller than mine
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  #174  
Old 21.06.2015, 23:29
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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The OH's half, which is smaller than mine
sounds like married for a long time
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  #175  
Old 21.06.2015, 23:30
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Re: Transexual as a coach

So should the transexual coach continue eating bacon sarnies after his chop job, or go Vegan ?
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  #176  
Old 22.06.2015, 00:20
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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As I said before: it's validation through association, and it's bollocks. As arguments for the decent and respectful treatment of fellow human beings go, it has to be about one of the worst.
I don't know what you're banging this particular drum for - I don't see anything here but perfectly rational arguments against the apparent prejudice of the OP towards TSs. Perhaps the number of people who claim to have TG friends or acquaintances is real, which would suggest that you don't seem to be aware of just how much it's accepted to be open about gender identity these days.

One might even suggest that thou protesteth too much. ..

Last edited by Ace1; 22.06.2015 at 10:47. Reason: autospillung error
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  #177  
Old 22.06.2015, 00:47
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Re: Transexual as a coach

Perhaps not in Glanerland though
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Old 22.06.2015, 00:47
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Re: Transexual as a coach

At least this discussion - I hope a search for enlightenment for the OP - is done on a forum where there is at least a bit of a vail of anonymity. In my German class, during a lesson which was supposed to be about people from all walks of life, a stupid woman started spewing her homophobic prejudices for all to hear, and the teacher sort of joined in by acting amused at the comments. This person regularly makes idiotic comments. I was shocked when she said was 26, because her level of thinking is definitely way below that.
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  #179  
Old 22.06.2015, 01:16
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Re: Transexual as a coach

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I don't know what you're banging this particular drum for - I don't see anything here but perfectly rational arguments against the apparent prejudice of the OP towards TSs. Perhaps the number of people who claim to have TG friends or acquaintances is real, which would suggest that you don't seem to be aware of just how much it's accepted to be open Apr gender identity these days.

One might even suggest that thou protesteth too much. ..
I'd respond if I could understand a word of what you are saying.
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  #180  
Old 22.06.2015, 03:47
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Re: Transexual as a coach

I wondered, Gumby, whether you're afraid of your daughter's coach. And oh, let's face it, many of us are, at least at some level, afraid of of people who behave in ways we've never yet encountered.

So I chanced it and tried Google on "he's transsexual, I'm afraid". And found this frank question about fear,
https://answers.yahoo.com/question/i...9192049AAYNYLp
and some answers, one of which led to two very interesting galleries of transsexual people
Successful Transwomen:
http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conw...Sgallery1.html
and
Successful Transmen:
http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conw.../TransMen.html
(scroll down a bit to see the photos).

Could it be that the aspect that concerns you for yourself, and/or you for your daughter, is that the new coach seems to you to be flamboyant (nailpolish) or instable (in transition)?

It seems to me that anyone who is working his or her way along the transsexual road is engaging in quite a lot of hard work, moving towards accepting him/her true self. This can take on many aspects, such as trying out the societally approved attrapments or activities of any particular gender, participating in peer group discussions, considering hormone and depiliatory treatment, perhaps political motivating for equal rights, coming out to family and friends (and in the case of your daughter's coach to parents of children with whom they work), and in doing so harvesting a wide range of comments and attitudes.

I once read that a man who comes out as gay, or a woman who comes out as lesbian can be subject to all sorts of rejection, (which can hurt terribly) yet can still say solidly: "Well, you know, I'm still the same person I was before I told you that I'm not straight."

A transsexual person, on the other hand, is not even the same person (at least not in his/her own sense of gender and gender identification) as the onlookers think they are seeing before their very eyes. Which leads to disbelieving comments like: "This dude is a bloke, a guy, a man, and nothing's gonna tell me otherwise," while the person who, in herself, feels she is a woman-trapped-in-a-man's-body says just as emphatically: "I'm a woman, a girl, a female, that's the real me, my being and essence is feminine, and somehow, sadly and frustratingly, my body just doesn't match up to who I really am!"

Moreover, whenever the transsexual person is brave enough to take just about any step at all towards aligning the outer visible self, in behaviour and body, with the inner self, doing so necessarily causes him/her to move away from being the "same person" that the others had originally thought they knew.

A transsexual person who has transitioned so fully and effectively that people around them don't have any reason to think about them as formerly of another gender (and you say you have no problem with that)... such a person has achieved a stability and an integration that makes the topic of gender less of an all-consuming issue. Which must be a huge relief for themselves, and also for those who've been witnessing the shift. We kinda' like it when things are stable, and we know where we're at.

It seems to me that your daughter could benefit from knowing that life is not fixed and that foundational changes can and do happen. The changes of a transitioning transsexual are perhaps some of the most striking. Yet we all change, we develop, some of it just happens to us (like puberty) and other changes are born out of our own determination. Yes, the best choices of change are those which are honest and authentic. And it is okay to be a bit wobbly along the way, as your daughter will be in various phases of her life, until she's settlee for the next bit, as we all are when we move, and as her coach may be as she finds her way of showing her version of womenhood to herself and to your community.

This I would like to say: if your daughter is going to the club to play volleyball, by which I mean, if HER prime motivation is the sport, then while she is there she should, indeed, be learning about volleyball. Other chats are fine, and I think it’s a good thing that she knows a bit about the private lives of any of the children and adults with whom she spends time at the club, but the main focus should be volleyball. And there’s no call for the time to be used by sitting around discussing transsexuality. (IF that’s what they’re doing).

If, on the other hand, she doesn’t care much about the sport anyway, and is going because she enjoys the good company and just wants to belong, such that it is, in effect, a youth group or club, then it will become natural that they train volleyball less, and that both coaches end up mentoring the kids on all sorts of other issues like homework and school and learning languages and travel and growing up. That’s not such a bad thing, per se.

For me, the balance needs to be not about whether or not they are training volleyball, nor about whether or not they talk about life’s issues (including gender, sexuality and even transsexuality, clothing and nail-polish)… but whether or not the time your daughter and her team-mates spend there is about the well-being of the children, not that of the adults. It’s fine to talk about just about any topic, as long as it is done so the children can learn and grow and speak their minds and hearts. It’s only not fine, I think, when the topics are chosen or explored according to the needs of the adults.

A coach, like a parent (including you), like any adult dealing with children, ought to be both able and willing to distinguish between his/her own needs, and those of the children.

I wish you strength and wisdom!
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