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  #21  
Old 08.08.2015, 13:50
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

NKJune, from your writing here, I guess that you probably speak English well enough to seek an English-speaking therapist.
However, I understand the cultural issues, and that speaking in your mother tongue might be a real relief.
http://www.praxiskeikomiyake.com/home.htm
http://www.praxiskeikomiyake.com/ambula.htm in Geneva

I do not know this therapist, but found her in
http://psychotherapie.ch/content/f/t...p?N1=Mediation de place de thérapie, where you can search by language.

I'd like to encourage you about therapy. Sometimes, people imagine that going to a therapist means that you are "mad" or "crazy" or a "hopeless case" and that speaking to a therapist will automatically mean that you are immediately sent away to a locked clinic. That is not the case. Some people find it helpful to speak to a therapist just a few times, maybe 2 to 10 visits of, say, an hour every week or every second week, and in that time they find their own way out of their problems. There is a growing trend towards short-term therapy. Of course, others find out that they need long-term help, and there is no shame in that, either.

In any case, when you start looking for a therapist, it is a good idea to ask him or her about the costs. Sometimes, these are paid for by the medical insurance. But sometimes you will have to pay a part (or even all) of the fees yourself. It is best to understand how it works from the start.

And even if you cannot afford to pay for ongoing treatment yourself, in your specific case it might be worth your while to see someone Japanese-speaking at least once, and then ask to be referred to someone English-speaking, whose costs are covered by the medical insurance.

There’s also the Japan Club in Geneva…. Just in case you don’t already know it. Perhaps someone there could help you to think things through.
http://www.japanclubge.ch/

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  #22  
Old 08.08.2015, 13:54
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

It sounds like you may have an avoidant personality disorder. Here's a link to an article you may want to read.

$http://psychcentral.com/disorders/av...rder-symptoms/

I hope you are able to treat it sooner than later. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to overcome it.
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  #23  
Old 08.08.2015, 14:47
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

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It sounds like you may have an avoidant personality disorder. Here's a link to an article you may want to read.

$http://psychcentral.com/disorders/av...rder-symptoms/

I hope you are able to treat it sooner than later. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to overcome it.
I think you really should abstain from attempting to diagnose someone over the internet. That's a medical doctor's job, and only the job of one who has personally seen and examined OP at that. Please don't start this here. Thank you.

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In any case, when you start looking for a therapist, it is a good idea to ask him or her about the costs. Sometimes, these are paid for by the medical insurance. But sometimes you will have to pay a part (or even all) of the fees yourself. It is best to understand how it works from the start.
doropfiz, it's the provider's job to tell the patient about the costs, not the patient's job to ask.
The patient then should ask if the payment is done tiers garant or tiers payant (does patient pay the bill sent by the provider to the patient to the insurance company and they refund, or does patient pay the bill to the insurance company after the company has paid the provider and billed the patient?
But you're right, it's good to know which amount they charge anyway.

Last edited by glowjupiter; 08.08.2015 at 14:57.
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Old 08.08.2015, 14:58
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

I can only add my voice to the others - that you do something about this difficult set of feelings you have. A doctor may well be able to put a finger on what triggered it off and how best to find a way out of a black downward spiral.
Although everyone's situtation is different, there are enough folk on here who have, at some point, needed help from outside to enable them to 'see the sunshine' again.

After a year in Switzerland, the first feelings of - there are problems in a new country but I will solve them in time - begin to diminish and we realise that we may be stuck with some of them. Some barriers are overcome, but new hurdles replace them. Language skills improve but the 'mentality divide' still remains. Bringing up children in a strange environment is a real challenge. Sometimes parents (particularly those of different backgrounds) have completely different ideas about bringing up children (things they never thought of as being an issue until the children were born). Sometimes husbands feel neglected or shut out when small children are involved.

I'm NOT suggesting that any of these things are a problem in your case. They are simply ideas which poured into my fingers when I was thinking back to my own first years here. And I could speak German, I looked European and had no children to tire me out!

I wish you all the best. Come on here when you need to. The folk on this Thread will most likely be those with their own rucksack load of problems, in the past at least, and will understand the benefit of a listening ear (or a reading eye).
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Old 08.08.2015, 15:14
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

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doropfiz, it's the provider's job to tell the patient about the costs, not the patient's job to ask.
.


Yes, glowjupiter, in the best of worlds that is certainly the case. It is, indeed, the provider's responsibility. But not all do so correctly.

I point it out to people who are considering therapy for the very first time because I've repeatedly seen that it can feel like a jungle trying to understand the differences (as far as the treatments is concerned, and as far as the costs are concerned) between a registered medical doctor, a psychiatrist, a psychotherapist, a registered psychologist, a coach or a life counsellor, and that the medical insurance companies in Switzerland are not consistent in the way they do or don't cover the costs. Therefore, it is worth asking both the provider AND one's own medical insurance company about that specific provider.
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Old 09.08.2015, 17:07
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

Hello, if i may recommend please listen to The signs your body gives do not fight thèm, rather satisfy them. Rest if you are tired and eat what you crave (exception for meat and Milk produits those must be contrôles). but qualité foods with no chemicals additives, But just dont déviate from correct moral standards, killing, strealling, adultury etc ... the human body has phases and is not constant like Waves up and down then up Again and so on some Waves higher other slower DO NOT make any Quick important décisions at this moment. For 1 or 2 weeks you must recuperate energy. Rest and do breathing exercices and drink pleinty of BOTTLE water no tap water and eat and some soft exercice, walks in nature most recommended. I advice conciously chewing your food a long time befor sw allowing. Not wanting to see people is also a healthy need, your body does not have enough energy (reason you are tired) and contact with humans visual and other is an energetical exchange your body cannot manage. Avoid contact as your body asks for a Time, take a break. Minimise téléphones computer and Tv etc... Smooth music is good.
After 1 or 2 weeks of satisfying your body you will have récupérted some énergy Guide this énergy to highten your Wave you may fo this by a small fast, and a little more intense exercise such as some gardening or a day in the week at the gym and maybe a tea or coffee time with a friend and slowly réintroducing an exchange of énergies with people and Life. After you should be back in to a good ryhtm😉. Feel free to ask for advice for the fasts or dietary advice to Help.
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Old 09.08.2015, 17:16
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

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Hello, if i may recommend please listen to The signs your body gives do not fight thèm, rather satisfy them. Rest if you are tired and eat what you crave (exception for meat and Milk produits those must be contrôles). but qualité foods with no chemicals additives, But just dont déviate from correct moral standards, killing, strealling, adultury etc ... the human body has phases and is not constant like Waves up and down then up Again and so on some Waves higher other slower DO NOT make any Quick important décisions at this moment. For 1 or 2 weeks you must recuperate energy. Rest and do breathing exercices and drink pleinty of BOTTLE water no tap water and eat and some soft exercice, walks in nature most recommended. I advice conciously chewing your food a long time befor sw allowing. Not wanting to see people is also a healthy need, your body does not have enough energy (reason you are tired) and contact with humans visual and other is an energetical exchange your body cannot manage. Avoid contact as your body asks for a Time, take a break. Minimise téléphones computer and Tv etc... Smooth music is good.
After 1 or 2 weeks of satisfying your body you will have récupérted some énergy Guide this énergy to highten your Wave you may fo this by a small fast, and a little more intense exercise such as some gardening or a day in the week at the gym and maybe a tea or coffee time with a friend and slowly réintroducing an exchange of énergies with people and Life. After you should be back in to a good ryhtm😉. Feel free to ask for advice for the fasts or dietary advice to Help.
What in the world are you on about???
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  #28  
Old 09.08.2015, 17:22
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

@glowjupiter - perhaps your mother tongue isn't English? Goiye12 says his is.

P.S. Mine is too but I cannot understand a word of his post either.
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  #29  
Old 09.08.2015, 17:49
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

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@glowjupiter - perhaps your mother tongue isn't English? Goiye12 says his is.

P.S. Mine is too but I cannot understand a word of his post either.
Perhaps he'll summarize it in one sentence for us, in one of the four Swiss languages or in English - let's see.
My comment is more along the lines of "where on earth is the positive/helpful aspect in his text which could help the OP?" I don't see it and the text looks very weird.

If I were OP, I would - as opposed to goiye12's post - eat a large steak dripping in bbq sauce with tap water and a huge salad with a nice dessert (perhaps some scoops of her favorite ice cream?) - this is not medical advice, but rather than restricting stuff I'm sure that allowing oneself things is more helpful to regain a positive outlook on life etc.
Bottled water is much less intensely tested than tap water, and it costs much more - not to mention that OP won't have to lug bottles of it around if she drinks water from the tap
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Old 09.08.2015, 17:54
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

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@glowjupiter - perhaps your mother tongue isn't English? Goiye12 says his is.

P.S. Mine is too but I cannot understand a word of his post either.
It doesn't help that s/he clearly has a French keyboard and randomly inserts accents all over the place.

To sum it up in one sentence I think the message is:

Listen to your body

But then I could be completely wrong.
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  #31  
Old 09.08.2015, 19:03
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

Yes to all i meant to say to hear the body, the meat and milk i just meant yes do eat but with a bit of a limit thèse 2 products tend to really slow down métabolism and diggestion😊 and for the spelling mistakes apologies its a mix of iPhone keyboard language and auto spell settings problem and lots of dislexia😊.
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  #32  
Old 10.08.2015, 00:14
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

Well-intentioned though we might be on EF, you should seek some professional advice.

If you can't find a Japanese-speaking doctor near enough to you, you may be able to find one elsewhere (e.g. in Japan) who will do telephone or web-based support, or a Japanese organisation that offers the same kind of web-based support as this highly respected Australian one:
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-su...ediate-support

Last edited by AliceInWinterland; 10.08.2015 at 00:15. Reason: typo
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Old 12.08.2015, 23:24
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

Dear all,
Thank you for your message.
I have tried to ask a doctor to consult/counseling with my husband in 2013 in Japan. In Japan, this is not common, so it is hard to find the appropriate and compatible doctor. We couldn't find a doctor after all.


Actually, yesterday I went into hysterics when I was with my family at home. I couldn't stop screaming. I myself felt scary.
But it was not bad because I could say to him what I wanted to say. It means "Angry". It was just like this and that in my brain rushed out and earnestiy did roundhouse kick my husband.
He said nothing. But, now I'm feeling some changing.
I'm not sure that it is a temporary or not, good sign or not.


We just diceded to come return to Japan for a while in the winter holiday in 4 months.
I will research and make an appointment with a doctor if we are still in same caos.
I think the best is to see a doctor now, but now, the situation cannot ask him to start a action.

Sometimes I miss the reason I'm angry.
Am I angry with his behavior for itself? Or, I don't want to feel his unconcern/scorn hidden behind his behavior?
It's like paradox. I'm thinking we should to improve our relationship, but at the same time, I also want to give up about everything.

Anyway, I need relax and time to spare to think about MYSELF.
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Old 12.08.2015, 23:35
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

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Dear all,
Thank you for your message.
I have tried to ask a doctor to consult/counseling with my husband in 2013 in Japan. In Japan, this is not common, so it is hard to find the appropriate and compatible doctor. We couldn't find a doctor after all.


Actually, yesterday I went into hysterics when I was with my family at home. I couldn't stop screaming. I myself felt scary.
But it was not bad because I could say to him what I wanted to say. It means "Angry". It was just like this and that in my brain rushed out and earnestiy did roundhouse kick my husband.
He said nothing. But, now I'm feeling some changing.
I'm not sure that it is a temporary or not, good sign or not.

We just diceded to come return to Japan for a while in the winter holiday in 4 months.
I will research and make an appointment with a doctor if we are still in same caos.

I think the best is to see a doctor now, but now, the situation cannot ask him to start a action.

Sometimes I miss the reason I'm angry.
Am I angry with his behavior for itself? Or, I don't want to feel his unconcern/scorn hidden behind his behavior?
It's like paradox. I'm thinking we should to improve our relationship, but at the same time, I also want to give up about everything.

Anyway, I need relax and time to spare to think about MYSELF.
Why not now? It's still four months until December and you don't have to ask your husband to contribute at present, you can go to the doc and get help for yourself at first.
EFers have provided you with numerous details of docs and therapists you could possibly contact in CH - why not take us up on the offer? You can always leave/quit treatment if it's not for you, but if you don't try, you might be stuck in a rut for the next four months.
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Old 12.08.2015, 23:37
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

Many people find it hard to understand and address the true reason for anger or other bad feelings without an expert (a doctor) helping, because the feelings can prevent you thinking clearly about it.

Four months can be a long time. Why not try to talk to a doctor while you are here, now, even if the process is interrupted by your winter break? It seems worth trying something that can help.

May I ask how old are your children?
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  #36  
Old 13.08.2015, 02:20
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

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Hi, I'm from Japan and living a small municipality in Switzerlad with my husband and 2 little kids. I'm not an employee.


I have gradually gotten used the daily life, but, it is not that I like here.
Recently I don't want to anything.
My friends ask me to go to eat, but I want stay at home alone.
My dauther's classmate's moms invite us to thier house, but I want to refuse their asking.
I don't want to see someone who I know when I'm outside.


About my daily life, I can manage it without problem for now.
However, it seems that I intentionally to avoid involving with others.
When I meet someone who I know accidentally, I can behave socially. I think it is like acting.


I never know the reason why I lost my sociality.
Do you think that I have any mental problem?
Should I go to see a doctor?
Hi, thank you for your post and your honesty. Have you tried Hypnotherapy? This works very well for depression and fears. It worked well and quickly for me and your are describing everything I was feeling. There is a way out of feeling this way. Best wishes, Englishspeaker
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  #37  
Old 13.08.2015, 02:51
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

I don't think you need to see a doctor. Nothing is wrong with you. When I first moved to the Philippines from the US, I made a lot of friends and even studied in a University there. Over time however, everything you listed pretty much became my feelings. I started to become an introvert and would rather not see people simply cause I just preferred to be alone. I didn't want to grow any attachment to people. I don't know how much it will help, but I can tell you my experience and reasons for going through that.

I moved to a place completely different and I had a lot of expectations about living there. Over time, I just felt "jaded" and eventually depressed.. maybe it's because I don't like to stay in one place for too long. If I get bored or irritated of places, jobs, people, I venture off looking for something new. I know in your situation, that would be unrealistic to just pick up and leave. But I really encourage you to start small and work your way up. I'm somewhat socially awkward if I don't have the right connection with people, which is very rare. Try to build up confidence in yourself by reading self development books or even try jogging. Something to clear your mind first thing in the morning by giving yourself time to think and fill your head with good positive things. Immerse yourself with the Swiss culture, get to know local bake shops, buy flowers in the afternoon, try to learn some german with locals..

Whether you do these things alone or with a friend, your husband, kids, don't look at these as tasks, but as a learning experience and something for yourself. I'm not sure whether it is because you're depressed, home sick, or whatever (I'm always home sick, that feeling never gets old) but try your best to accept the things you cannot change and work on the things you can. Living in another country that is not your own is hard--I'll be leaving Philippines now to move to Winterthur. I definitely understand the extreme changes. Anyways, hope this helps good luck in your journey

Ciao!
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Old 20.08.2015, 22:15
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

Sorry you're going through this, NKJune. It sounds like there are lots of things going on (perhaps there is even more you haven't mentioned here). Naturally, you're overwhelmed and struggle to cope. On top of that you're in a foreign country with little support system. Have you joined an online support group or mental health forum? Not sure about Japanese forums, but a google search resulted in this site: http://forums.psychcentral.com/. Maybe you can give it a try there, connect with others and try to at least break the cycle of isolation online first. Others have mentioned writing in a diary. I think it can be helpful, but it makes more sense if it's overseen by a therapist (but that's just my opinion). Take care of yourself, I hope things begin to look up very soon!
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Old 20.08.2015, 22:46
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

Helen is that you ? ( My wives name is Helen )
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Old 21.08.2015, 10:26
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

Yes, it sounds like you are in a depression. Find a counsellor/psychologist who speaks your language or english so you feel more at ease while talking. Dont stay alone with your problem. Perhaps www.centrepoint.ch (english community in Basel or is it swiss wide?) have addresses. If you are in Basel sometime and fancy a coffee and a chat, let me know. I have 2 sons and had a bit a similar problem when they were small.


All the best, Vanessa
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