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Old 03.08.2015, 17:35
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ending a relation with a mother, but, not ending with the daughter

hello ..
I would like to ask
I had a non married relation with a Sswiss woman that result in a 1.5 year old girl.
Since January I'm left the family house and still provide with some financial resources to the family.

Now I want officially to end the relation that I have with her and let the Kanton to define the support.

My questions is:
* How much should be this value?
* Should I support the mother too?
* What about joint custody? If we have it, the kid will be with me one week and with mother another week?
* Where should I go to dissolve this relation?


best regards
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  #2  
Old 03.08.2015, 17:41
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Re: ending a relation with a mother, but, not ending with the daughter

Get a lawyer

No one on here will be able to give you a guaranteed accurate answer even if you supply all the facts.
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Old 03.08.2015, 18:05
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Re: ending a relation with a mother, but, not ending with the daughter

A lawyer's time will cost you money, so put together all the paperwork and relevant information before you see anyone.
Where are you now living?
Are you named as father on the Birth Certificate / Familienbüchlein?
If yes, has the child dual nationality?
Copies of pay-slips?
I've no idea what you'll need but knowing the Swiss there will be lots of it!

Is there no free -'Legal Advice' office at the council offices where the mother lives?
You really need expert help.
Hope you get matters sorted
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Old 03.08.2015, 18:10
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Re: ending a relation with a mother, but, not ending with the daughter

tkx for the answers so far

I'm the father in the birth certificate but didn't apply yet for the second nationality. The kid is Swiss so far.

We both live in Zurich.

Yes .. I need help to know where to do next to settle this up...

We went to this office to say that I'm the father. I don't know what was the name and therefor don't know where to call or what to do.
My ex was taking care of this things ...

all the help is welcome.
tkx guys
Paulo
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Old 03.08.2015, 18:14
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Re: ending a relation with a mother, but, not ending with the daughter

In Switzerland, there is a legal difference between "custody" and "residence".
"Custody" is the parental authority over the child, and includes who can take final decisions about citizen applications, permits, insurances, to which schools and doctors she goes, etc.. In general, this can be seen as decisions a parent takes for just about anything serious, for which a signature might be needed on an official form.
"Residence" is where the child actually lives and sleeps.


In the past, it was usual for the mother to be granted both.
Now, it is more usual for the Courts to grant "joint custody" which means that the parents carry their parental responsibility together and must both give their consent for important decisions about their child.
However, it is still usual for the "residence" to be with one parent, as most children live in one place. In that case, the child visits the other parent.


Some parents do share the care, and if the father and mother of the child can relate to each other in peace, and if they live fairly nearby to each other, then a Court may be in favour of shared residence, which means the child lives for half (or a third, for example) of the time with one parent and the rest with the other.


Having said that, I agree with Dodgyken. You may receive some ideas or acquire some knowledge on this Forum, but no-one can guarantee their accuracy for your specific situation, and therefore I'd also advise consulting a lawyer.


You might find some advice through www.binational.ch.
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Old 03.08.2015, 18:17
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Re: ending a relation with a mother, but, not ending with the daughter

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.

We both live in Zurich.
...
We went to this office to say that I'm the father. I don't know what was the name and therefor don't know where to call or what to do.

If you live in Zurich, you can go to the Stadthaus (on Stadthausquai, between the river Limmat and Paradeplatz) and ask there for the names of the government departsments concerned with all these matters.
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Old 03.08.2015, 18:19
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Re: ending a relation with a mother, but, not ending with the daughter

You might save money by going here first. At least you might know what you still have to get sorted.
https://www.stadt-zuerich.ch/portal/...sauskunft.html

Free Legal Advice Zürich
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Old 03.08.2015, 18:21
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Re: ending a relation with a mother, but, not ending with the daughter

I'm not totally sure about ZH but in Basel Land because we are not married we had to visit KESB and have them write a contract stating what happens to the kids if we split. eg establish custody, visitation, and child support. We had to pay 246CHF each for the meeting and contract. We have 3 kids together not that it matters.

http://www.kesb-zh.ch/

this is the ZH site for KESB. maybe contact them to inquire about what you do now. It's weird, since we registered in BL they immediately contacted us (like within 2 months) to set up a meeting to make the custody contract. KESB said it was mandatory for all unmarried parents which it is in BL. I'm kinda surprised that it's not in ZH although maybe they just didn't get around to inviting you

good luck, no clue about ZH but the BL staff were all very nice and helpful.

Quote:
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tkx for the answers so far

I'm the father in the birth certificate but didn't apply yet for the second nationality. The kid is Swiss so far.

We both live in Zurich.

Yes .. I need help to know where to do next to settle this up...

We went to this office to say that I'm the father. I don't know what was the name and therefor don't know where to call or what to do.
My ex was taking care of this things ...

all the help is welcome.
tkx guys
Paulo
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Old 03.08.2015, 23:45
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Re: ending a relation with a mother, but, not ending with the daughter

Contacting KESB is definitely a good suggestion, particularly as their service is probably for free.

One thing that hasn't been mentioned:
I think (i.e. I could well be wrong) a year or two ago the law changed with respect to who gets custody of the child. Used to be that in most any case the mother was assigned exclusive custody, but with the change shared custody has become the norm. I think even if one party disagrees, the other can demand shared custody and it will usually be granted (I'm thinking standard setup where the child lives with the mother and the father, who is is able and willing to do his part, wants shared custody.
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Old 04.08.2015, 13:08
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Re: ending a relation with a mother, but, not ending with the daughter

Quote:
AboimPinto: I had a non married relation with a Swiss woman that result in a 1.5 year old girl.
Quote:
I'm the father in the birth certificate but didn't apply yet for the second nationality. The kid is Swiss so far.
Woke in the middle of the night. I knew something had bothered me here. To me it shows a difference in a person’s feeling of responsibility and level of caring when they use words or phrases along the lines of ‘my daughter’ instead of ‘a 1.5 year old girl’ or ‘the kid’.
Maybe it doesn’t bother anyone else but it sounds so ‘distant’ to me.
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Old 04.08.2015, 13:24
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Re: ending a relation with a mother, but, not ending with the daughter

"it sounds so ‘distant’ to me."
I would say English is not the OPs mother tongue, ie; translated from Portuguese. I would not read any emotional detachment in the phrase as he obviously wants to keep in touch with his daughter.
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Old 04.08.2015, 13:40
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Re: ending a relation with a mother, but, not ending with the daughter

I'm not casting judgment on the guy. I possibly would have been happier with 'child' (which is a direct translation from the Portuguese). Maybe it's partly an age thing. Both are 'das Kind' in German anyway.
However, when convincing others of ones feelings and intentions the slightest nuance can tip the balance of favour in one direction or the other.
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