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  #121  
Old 17.04.2016, 09:16
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Re: I'm going through menopause, what's your excuse?

I saw this topic on several news feeds in February, but yeah, cramping and the rest can be really bad - in some cases as bad as the pain from a heart attack. I've never had a heart attack, but I had the cramps. And again, it's not something we talk about, even female gynecologists can be dismissive.

http://qz.com/611774/period-pain-can...w-to-treat-it/

I had codine when younger. Someone suggested red raspberry leaf tea, and oddly, that helped, it got better with age and I took a sick day when needed. My mom died when I was 36, but she did talk about this stuff. And birth control.
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  #122  
Old 19.04.2016, 17:47
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Re: I'm going through menopause, what's your excuse?

It was, and still is strange, i started my period when i was 13. I told my mum, she gave me some panty liners and it was basically get on with it.

I had, obviously, learned a few things from my friends at school.

But, it was my sister who is ten years older than me that was told by my mother to explain things to me. Everything.

And funnily enough, not long ago. My sister who is now 63 told me that it was our grandmother that explained all that stuff to her!! Who had no daughters.

So our mother did nothing about the birds and bees!! Nor explained to her daughters anything about periods etc.

What would have happened if i had become pregnant at the age of 15? Of course i didn't. But i can imagine a lot of young teenagers did because they knew nothing.

All i was told was if i kissed a boy i would have a baby. True!! She told me that.

So, maybe our conversation about menopause may be met by a blank!! Or an, i don't remember dear!!

And another thing my sister told me. Because my period cramps were so bad. She, as a nurse and kiddie nurse, said to my mum that it would be good to put me on the pill because it alleviates the pain. My mum refused. So i suffered for years until i could get the pill for myself at 18.

I think she thought i would become promiscuous once i was on the pill. that was the last thing from my mind. Jeez i was 14 and in love with Donny Osmond!!

So, at the end of my story, i am quite happy to be menopausal. I do have the dry skin, have no idea about the vagina, i just feel good within myself. No anger or angst.

I shall be back with what my mum says in a couple of weeks!! But i know her - "i don't want to talk about things like that!!" conversation.

It is such a relief to be able to talk about this with other women, and i love your stories.

xxx

Last edited by Patsycat; 19.04.2016 at 17:57.
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  #123  
Old 19.04.2016, 17:59
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Re: I'm going through menopause, what's your excuse?

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It was, and still is strange, i started my period when i was 13. I told my mum, she gave me some panty liners and it was basically get on with it.

I had, obviously, learned a few things from my friends at school.

But, it was my sister who is ten years older than me that was told by my mother to explain things to me. Everything.

And funnily enough, not long ago. My sister who is now 63 told me that it was our grandmother that explained all that stuff to her!!

So our mother did nothing about the birds and bees!! Nor explained to her daughters anything about periods etc.

What would have happened if i had become pregnant at the age of 15? Of course i didn't. But i can imagine a lot of young teenagers did because they knew nothing.

All i was told was if i kissed a boy i would have a baby. True!! She told me that.

So, maybe our conversation about menopause may be met by a blank!! Or an, i don't remember dear!!

And another thing my sister told me. Because my period cramps were so bad. She, as a nurse and kiddie nurse, said to my mum that it would be good to put me on the pill because it alleviates the pain. My mum refused. So i suffered for years until i could get the pill for myself at 18.

I think she thought i would become promiscuous once i was on the pill. that was the last thing from my mind. Jeez i was 14 and in love with Donny Osmond!!
Gosh, I could have written that Patsycat!

I was 11 when I started my periods and got the same reaction from my mum, in my case I was given a Dr Whites pad and sanitary belt, which were so uncomfortable and embarrassing, especially at school (all girls thankfully) where we had to do gym in our navy blue knicker, no excuses.

I began my periods before my elder sister and friends, so felt very alone and upset.

My mum thought the pill was an abomination, when she discovered I was on it she said I had gone down in her estimation (I was 24, working and living in my own home)!!

As for the menopause, forget it! All I remember about hers was her crying a lot and my dad, myself and two sisters tip-toeing around her.
I'm surprised I'm as normal as I am!
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  #124  
Old 19.04.2016, 18:17
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Re: I'm going through menopause, what's your excuse?

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Gosh, I could have written that Patsycat!

I was 11 when I started my periods and got the same reaction from my mum, in my case I was given a Dr Whites pad and sanitary belt, which were so uncomfortable and embarrassing, especially at school (all girls thankfully) where we had to do gym in our navy blue knicker, no excuses.

I began my periods before my elder sister and friends, so felt very alone and upset.

My mum thought the pill was an abomination, when she discovered I was on it she said I had gone down in her estimation (I was 24, working and living in my own home)!!

As for the menopause, forget it! All I remember about hers was her crying a lot and my dad, myself and two sisters tip-toeing around her.
I'm surprised I'm as normal as I am!
Same here, and well remember the sexy sanitary belt, huge pads and having to run around the hockey field (which happened to be next to a main road) in our navy blue knickers.

No wonder we all fell for Donny Osmond
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  #125  
Old 19.04.2016, 18:18
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Re: I'm going through menopause, what's your excuse?

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Same here, and well remember the sexy sanitary belt, huge pads and having to run around the hockey field (which happened to be next to a main road) in our navy blue knickers.

No wonder we all fell for Donny Osmond
I was in love with Jay.
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  #126  
Old 19.04.2016, 18:57
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Re: I'm going through menopause, what's your excuse?

Have you seen this lady? she does product reviews for ageing, hitting the menopause, type problems, not so much for side effects of menopause though

from 3.32 might get a laugh 'look at it people'



for side effects, i cant say if it will work (didnt do a whole lot with pms (for me) and its supposed to help with that too) but st Johns Wort is supposed to help with 'psychological, psychosomatic??*, and vasomotor symptoms' of menopause, just be careful it doesn't clash with any other meds.

can be bought at a reasonable price on iherb I had it as an add on to some gluten free pancake mix that you cant really get here to get the free shipping

* the question marks are my addition
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  #127  
Old 19.04.2016, 20:29
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Re: I'm going through menopause, what's your excuse?

Be careful with St John's Wort. It can be strong, effects are exacerbated by sun exposure and it does interact with other stuff. Having said that, it works wonderfully for some people.
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  #128  
Old 20.04.2016, 00:29
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Re: I'm going through menopause, what's your excuse?

https://youtu.be/zI2hgm65WhE

And to be quite honest he is absolutely drop dead gorgeous now!! So we picked a good un at the time!! None of that Justin Bieber crap.

David Cassidy was also rather yummy, nowadays he is a bit not in Donny's league!!
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  #129  
Old 20.04.2016, 00:49
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Re: I'm going through menopause, what's your excuse?

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But, it was my sister who is ten years older than me that was told by my mother to explain things to me. Everything.
My mum told me a little about periods but was way off the mark. Sex education was left to my older brother, which sounds peculiar in itself, but purely consisted of him coming home from the pub on Tuesday nights, giving me another old copy of Mayfair or Men Only, then sloping off upstairs to watch Old Grey Whistle Test. A week later he'd ask if there was anything I didn't understand. That was it! The only teacher who gave a sex education class at my school was immediately suspended and sacked.

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I was 11 when I started my periods and got the same reaction from my mum, in my case I was given a Dr Whites pad and sanitary belt, which were so uncomfortable and embarrassing,
Was that the strange pair of knickers with the pad held in by press studs? I lasted two days with one of them. Horrible things.

Amongst the incredible misinformation given by mum were...she bought me a panty girdle when I turned 10 "so that I wouldn't get a prolapsed womb", and told me that using tampons would make me lose my virginity and nobody would marry me.

It's incredible that our mothers survived.
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  #130  
Old 20.04.2016, 01:34
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Re: I'm going through menopause, what's your excuse?

Only married ladies use tampax!! I got that line. I presume she meant sexually active.

In fact, it was a school friend of mine who showed me how to use them.

She had a great mother who showed her.

Strange that we are going back to our periods on a thread on menopause.

But then, the pain is not there anymore. Every month for how many decades?

I feel quite free. It's rather better. OK the sweats etc. it's nothing compared to all the period cramps.

Just different and basically better.

https://youtu.be/Kmdun_FsNeo
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  #131  
Old 20.04.2016, 10:29
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Re: I'm going through menopause, what's your excuse?

My mom gave me a book to read and then answered any questions I had. She was very willing to talk about sex and everything else. I was really immature. (At 11 or 12). When i was going off to college, she told me that if I wanted to have sex, I had to get birth control first, and offered to take me to planned parenthood. I declined, too freaked out about the whole thing. I was still very immature. But I followed her advice eventually.

She was a lovely, warm, practical woman. And in her own way, very independent and a feminist in the best sense.

When i was a teenager, tampons were racy!
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  #132  
Old 20.04.2016, 10:40
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Re: I'm going through menopause, what's your excuse?

My mom did tell me at an age when I wasn´t interested..... But.... she had a nice book on women´s health that I managed to sneak into my bedroom and read. It was really old fashioned (1950´s) but at least the basic facts were right :-)
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  #133  
Old 20.04.2016, 11:05
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Re: I'm going through menopause, what's your excuse?

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Was that the strange pair of knickers with the pad held in by press studs? I lasted two days with one of them. Horrible things.
It was one of these.. I feel traumatised just looking at the photo....
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  #134  
Old 20.04.2016, 11:12
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Re: I'm going through menopause, what's your excuse?

I gave this book to my daughters. Even the Queen by Connie Willis.
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Old 20.04.2016, 11:41
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Re: I'm going through menopause, what's your excuse?

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The only teacher who gave a sex education class at my school was immediately suspended and sacked.

Was that the strange pair of knickers with the pad held in by press studs? I lasted two days with one of them. Horrible things.

Amongst the incredible misinformation given by mum were...told me that using tampons would make me lose my virginity and nobody would marry me.

It's incredible that our mothers survived.
We (girls) were given the 'period' talk by the deputy headmistress towards the end of primary school. I remember her getting a small cup of water and tipping it into the floor to show just how far a small amount of liquid would go. She said that was the average amount of blood loss each month and not to get alarmed by it as it looked a lot more than it actually was ( demonstrated by the cup example).
We were all told to tell our mothers about this 'talk' when we got home and that it was very important to do so. It took me ages to pluck up the forage to do so but when I did it was fine. I think my mother was relieved to not have to do it herself and all she did was ask me if I understood everything and gave me a packet of sanitary pads ( the stick on ones) to keep in my bedroom for when I needed them.

She forgot to get me pads one month and gave me a pack of her old tampons to 'tide me over' until she'd been to the shop. It was super plus size and without going into details on here I can see how they could have thought it would lead to lost virginity. I did use tampons on a monthly basis after that though which made sport at school somewhat easier.

Rather bizarrely the sex education lessons at secondary school were given by the deputy headmistress who was a rather severe, late fifties, Scottish spinster.
It was a mixed class and we spent much of it trying not to giggle ( or risk getting the evil eye or worse) as she showed us how to put a condom on a broom handle and told us that we should always refer to it as a condom and not a 'johnny' or other term.

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It was one of these.. I feel traumatised just looking at the photo....
My mother had one if those when I was little. I remember seeing it and the pads on her bed once and thinking they were nappies. I spent ages hoping for a new baby brother or sister but nothing came. Fortunately things had moved in a bit by the time I needed them although when we were much older I remember my mother telling me about how my grandmother had to use cloth pads and wash them between use so even the sanitary belt must have been better than that.

Back to the topic of the thread though. I think all things considered I've got off very lightly in the 'women's' department. Aside from a few night sweats which are really annoying I haven't suffered too much from the menopause and I never really suffered much with periods either. A couple of aspirins or paracetamol on the first day for the cramps was about all I needed and I never suffered from PMT or any of the other stuff. Lucky me.
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  #136  
Old 20.04.2016, 12:00
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Re: I'm going through menopause, what's your excuse?

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It was one of these.. I feel traumatised just looking at the photo....


I hear you! Luckily the self adhesive stuff came on the market soon! Or maybe it was already on the market but my mom finally was convinced to get rid of that thing......
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  #137  
Old 20.04.2016, 13:09
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Re: I'm going through menopause, what's your excuse?

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I hear you! Luckily the self adhesive stuff came on the market soon! Or maybe it was already on the market but my mom finally was convinced to get rid of that thing......
Yes, I think my mum just gave me what she used.

Needless to say, I moved onto stick-on ones then tampons asap.

Still haven't had "the talk" from her. When I used to go out with boyfriends, she used to say " no shenanigans" as we walked out of the door.
She even said it to my sister as she left for her honeymoon, but she was joking.
I think.
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Old 20.04.2016, 13:27
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Re: I'm going through menopause, what's your excuse?

Jeez and I've wondered why I haven't needed central heating since December, and I still can't get the kitchen knives out of the back of the door.
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Old 20.04.2016, 13:32
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Re: I'm going through menopause, what's your excuse?

Perfect avatar for this thread Fidgety!
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Old 20.04.2016, 14:01
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Re: I'm going through menopause, what's your excuse?

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It was one of these.. I feel traumatised just looking at the photo....
Even with a picture I still can't fathom how it works!
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