Hello all,

I am a proud dad of a 15th month old boy. Unfortunately the relationship with my wife has been rather rocky, and she has run away several times this year, but for our son and her residency permit (she is chinese) we have not taken steps to a divorce. Now she has played a very dirty trick on me, by falsely accusing me at the police of abuse. I got charged for that last week. As a result I am not allowed in my house anymore, and not allowed to initiate contact with her.

I know it sounds absurd to most, as usually the woman is the one that gets the abuse. The police assumes the same too, and believes her words, not mine. However, she has a history of hitting and biting me, but I never pressed charges against her (yes, I know, that was stupid of me). But as you can imagine I am in deep trouble now.

To defend myself the best possible way, and then fight for the divorce and if possible for custody, I need the best lawyer money can buy. Since I am not familiar at all with the legal scene in Switzerland, I am looking for recommendations about strong, knowlegeable male lawyers in Winterthur/Zurich that can help with this domestic violence/divorce/custody case.

Help and recommendations are very much appreciated.

Leen

Sorry to here of your terrible problems. Okay, a few things:

1. Be careful what details you place on this forum. If she knows you access this forum it could work against you.
2. Have you got any remaining physical injuries from here assaults against you? If so, then you should press charges against her as well. In fact, I am not sure there is anything preventing you from doing that, especially if you can remember time/date/location and any witnesses.
3. Make sure you adhere to all the police or court restrictions upon you. Breaching these will not help your case regardless how innocent you are, and also get you into more trouble.
4. Get legal advice ASAP. Do you have Legal Insurance (Rechtsschutzversicherung)? If not this is going to get expensive. If money is no option, start searching the white pages under Rechtsanwalt. Look for one that deals with family law (Familienrecht).
5. Start making notes. Start documenting everything she has done wrong in chronological order, in objective detail, preferably referenced to relevant evidence. It will be hard, but keep emotion out of the notes.
6. If you need access to your appartment, do it only through the police. Make sure you get hold of your computer, confidential and financial documents.
7. If you know any neighbours who might have been able to see or hear her violent behaviour, contact them by phone, or have someone contact them for you. They might be able to back up your assault claims. Walls are pretty thin in Swiss apartments.

It sounds like it is going to get very nasty and bitter. Surround yourself with as many family and friends as you can. Because you are not the mother, you are already at a disadvantage. Be prepared to fight dirty for what you are not prepared to lose.

Thanks for the advice, LightSpeed. You made some good points.

I am looking for an appropriate lawyer, and I am looking for recommendations. In my limited circle of contacts in Switzerland I have not found anyone who could recommend a good lawyer for such case.

Hopefully someone on the board here has some experience, or knows of someone who has experience with a good lawyer. Recommendations will be highly appreciated!

Thanks,

Leenq

Hello,

Now I want a reputation point for this... Here is the name of a capable lawyer who will be able to help. Please say that you were recommended by a squash player you know.
He speaks English which helps but I am not sure when he will be back at work!

Buchli Steve
044 296 90 00
stephan.buchli@buchli-hochuli.ch

Cheers

Richard

Hi

After spending the last five years divorcing my wife I have to say that you are going to come up against a few obstacles. Especially if you are trying to gain custody of your child. Generally speaking, if the child is already living with the mother then they will see no reason to change this unless there is evidence that the child is not being well looked after. Also, once you both have lawyers then they will spend a great deal of time sending bills to you without too much to show for it.

This is not going to be an easy time for you and I wish you the best of luck. Make sure that you have as many friends and family members to support you as is possible.

No matter how hard it may be, your best first move may be to try and get back on speaking terms with your wife. Try to get her to see things from your side and to become more reasonable. If you manage this then you may be able to come to some arrangement for 50% custody. But if you go directly to court with accusations of abuse and no evidence then they are unlikely to be helpful.

Go and see a lawyer. Initially just to get them to clue you up on the problems that you will encounter and to find out what your worse-case scenario is. It will open your eyes a little and you need to be prepared for that.

Again, good luck and I wish you all the best.