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  #21  
Old 15.04.2009, 11:40
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Re: Acknowledgement of paternity/Child support - please help

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I understand perfectly well what you mean CD ... a many a pregnant young girl asks herself exactly that question, whats the point if I dont have the support of the father, just so true !!!

Really?? I didn't know all women were so glib......
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  #22  
Old 15.04.2009, 11:43
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Re: Acknowledgement of paternity/Child support - please help

I didn't say that did I

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Really?? I didn't know all women were so glib......
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  #23  
Old 15.04.2009, 11:59
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Re: Acknowledgement of paternity/Child support - please help

The way I see it, the father should only pay child support if he originally signed the papers stating that he wants to see the child and wants to keep him. So you don't get the whole "I was on the pill honey, but... ooops..." It's entrapement. A child has to be a concious descision by both partners. We already have enough people as it is. No need for more kids from broken homes.
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  #24  
Old 15.04.2009, 12:07
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Re: Acknowledgement of paternity/Child support - please help

Why is it glib to think "I can't do this alone" when it comes to raising a child? Raising a child into a healthy, happy, responsible adult is the most difficult thing in the world. I know for a fact I wouldn't want to do it alone, and were I in the position where that was likely- I'd very seriously think about whether I should keep the child, or abort, or give it up for adoption.

I know there are many many people who would keep the child- and that's a laudable choice, but clearly not for everyone. Better to figure that out while the child is a fetus, as opposed to a hungry, needy baby.
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  #25  
Old 15.04.2009, 12:10
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Re: Acknowledgement of paternity/Child support - please help

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A child has to be a concious descision by both partners.
Having intercourse with the partner is the conscious decision to have a child, because no form of contraception is 100% effective. Even though it's a small chance, it is possible and you should always be prepared for the consequences of your actions.

And before you suggest it, abortion is not a form of contraception.
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  #26  
Old 15.04.2009, 12:12
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Re: Acknowledgement of paternity/Child support - please help

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Why is it glib to think "I can't do this alone" when it comes to raising a child? Raising a child into a healthy, happy, responsible adult is the most difficult thing in the world. I know for a fact I wouldn't want to do it alone, and were I in the position where that was likely- I'd very seriously think about whether I should keep the child, or abort, or give it up for adoption.

I know there are many many people who would keep the child- and that's a laudable choice, but clearly not for everyone. Better to figure that out while the child is a fetus, as opposed to a hungry, needy baby.
Especially with a guy the woman has just met and who is not even a local. Women just seem to make such terrible choices all the time.

"Woman's intuition... a result of millions of years of not thinking."
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  #27  
Old 15.04.2009, 12:14
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Re: Acknowledgement of paternity/Child support - please help

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Having intercourse with the partner is the conscious decision to have a child, because no form of contraception is 100% effective. Even though it's a small chance, it is possible and you should always be prepared for the consequences of your actions.

And before you suggest it, abortion is not a form of contraception.
No, having sex is just having sex. A child should always be a planned and WANTED event by BOTH partners.
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  #28  
Old 15.04.2009, 12:20
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Re: Acknowledgement of paternity/Child support - please help

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The way I see it, the father should only pay child support if he originally signed the papers stating that he wants to see the child and wants to keep him. So you don't get the whole "I was on the pill honey, but... ooops..." It's entrapement. A child has to be a concious descision by both partners. We already have enough people as it is. No need for more kids from broken homes.
You meant something along these lines?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Male_abortion
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  #29  
Old 15.04.2009, 12:24
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Re: Acknowledgement of paternity/Child support - please help

ncha... here he goes again can anyone fathom or figure out this dude ...

off topic I know, I do apologize

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Especially with a guy the woman has just met and who is not even a local. Women just seem to make such terrible choices all the time.

"Woman's intuition... a result of millions of years of not thinking."
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  #30  
Old 15.04.2009, 12:57
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Re: Acknowledgement of paternity/Child support - please help

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No, having sex is just having sex.
No matter how much you want it to be that way, it just isn't.

Sexual intercourse is not a leisure activity to be undertaken with someone you hardly know purely for physical gratification.
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  #31  
Old 15.04.2009, 13:05
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Re: Acknowledgement of paternity/Child support - please help

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Sexual intercourse is not a leisure activity to be undertaken with someone you hardly know purely for physical gratification.
i must be doing it wrong then. thanks for pointing it out to me.
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  #32  
Old 15.04.2009, 13:06
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Re: Acknowledgement of paternity/Child support - please help

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i must be doing it wrong then. thanks for pointing it out to me.
My pleasure. Thanks.
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  #33  
Old 15.04.2009, 13:07
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Re: Acknowledgement of paternity/Child support - please help

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Sexual intercourse is not a leisure activity to be undertaken with someone you hardly know purely for physical gratification.
And why not?
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  #34  
Old 15.04.2009, 13:12
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Re: Acknowledgement of paternity/Child support - please help

Thank you for those who posted serious answers. No intention to have a moral discussion on abortion whatsoever as this lady (35 years old) deliberately planned things thisway, believe me, the background story is even more scary. As a woman I am absolutely repulsed by such an act. I respect ladies who raise their kids alone but in this case she made a conscious choice for someone else AND demands this amount of money ('either you pay or I go to court' were the exact words). My boyfriend is an honest guy and is of course willing to support the child but he is just shocked by the amount... (Not to mention how he imagined having a first kid in a different setting.) So...if there are more people who have valuable information, please let us know, it is very much appreciated. Many thanks.
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  #35  
Old 15.04.2009, 13:56
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Re: Acknowledgement of paternity/Child support - please help

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My boyfriend is an honest guy and is of course willing to support the child but he is just shocked by the amount...
As I would be - although on reflection it doesn't seem too outrageous, given cost of living over here.

OK, he needs a lawyer then, to try and negotiate a lower amount (whether in or out of court.)

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(Not to mention how he imagined having a first kid in a different setting.)
I hear ya! Trying to imagine how I'd feel if I were pregnant right now. Good for him that he's willing to take responsibility. It is a heck of a big commitment.

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So...if there are more people who have valuable information, please let us know, it is very much appreciated. Many thanks.
Sorry if this sounds harsh but I really don't see what kind of further information you are asking for.
The child is genetically his or it isn't - and you've said that DNA testing indicates it is. If it is (and once that is legally established) he has child support obligations - which you've said he acknowledges and is willing to fulfill. So the question is only the amount, and for that he needs a lawyer more than a bunch of well-meaning Internet people.
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  #36  
Old 15.04.2009, 14:00
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Re: Acknowledgement of paternity/Child support - please help

MathNut, thanks. We are searching for a lawyer as well.
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  #37  
Old 15.04.2009, 14:00
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Re: Acknowledgement of paternity/Child support - please help

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You meant something along these lines?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Male_abortion
Bingo.

Ladies, you can't have your cake and eat it too. Want gender equality? Well, that means that the father has a say.
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  #38  
Old 15.04.2009, 14:03
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Re: Acknowledgement of paternity/Child support - please help

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No matter how much you want it to be that way, it just isn't.

Sexual intercourse is not a leisure activity to be undertaken with someone you hardly know purely for physical gratification.
Why else would you have sex with somebody you hardly know? To procreate? Don't be ridiculous.
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  #39  
Old 15.04.2009, 14:12
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Re: Acknowledgement of paternity/Child support - please help

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And why not?
Many animals have sex just for pleasure, like dolphins. Bonobos use sex as a tool for social cohesion and some animals use sex to keep the male partner in a couple and help raise the offspring.

Sex is NOT just for procreation.
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  #40  
Old 15.04.2009, 14:14
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Re: Acknowledgement of paternity/Child support - please help

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Why else would you have sex with somebody you hardly know? To procreate? Don't be ridiculous.
There's no point me continuing this discussion if you can't read my posts and understand them.
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