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  #81  
Old 17.04.2009, 16:19
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Re: Acknowledgement of paternity/Child support - please help

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Maybe you should think of it as refreshing: after centuries of men walking out on women, denying fatherhood and - in a lot of cases - no way for women to proof this and make them jointly responsible for the child they have created together and all the dire social consequences this had for these "illegitimate" children, this is certainly a new way the courts and society look after children .
I'll remember that argument in a few years time when the pendulum swings back and screws women again, how the injustices of the past justify the injustices of the present.
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Yes, it would. I'm a lawyer.
I thought you were a single mother with a deadbeat father and an axe to grind?

Regardless of anything else I have suggested, I have repeatedly stated that her other half should seek professional legal advice next. Ultimately, on the Internet, you should take any 'professional advice' with a pinch of salt; either because it comes from those who are unqualified, or those who are (allegedly) but seem more interested in moralizing than imparting their precious knowledge.
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  #82  
Old 17.04.2009, 17:11
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Re: Acknowledgement of paternity/Child support - please help

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My point was more to illustrate that 600 CHF a month doesn't get you a whole lot when you consider the overall costs of raising a child in CH. I pay 2,500 CHF each month for daycare alone in Zurich- just one of the many expenses.
Mamazurich, and with all due respect, am I missing something or are you sugesting that the Italian mother-to-be has to fight for her 800 Euros while you aren't for your 600 Francs? Just asking as it sounds a little bit contradictory to me.
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  #83  
Old 17.04.2009, 17:54
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Re: Acknowledgement of paternity/Child support - please help

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Aeneas, I see from your profile that you are an IT Consultant. I suggest you stick to that and let the lawyers provide the advice (as you have suggested vlinder do). You are making legal conclusions which have no basis or foundation.


You really think that no-one should give a non-professional opinion on these boards? If that was the case, we might as well shut down!!

Financial questions - talk to your accountant
Legal questions - talk to a lawyer
Spiritual questions - talk to a rabbi/iman/priest/pastor/richard dawkings
Immigration questions - talk to migrationsamt
etc. etc. etc.

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  #84  
Old 17.04.2009, 18:50
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Re: Acknowledgement of paternity/Child support - please help

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Financial questions - talk to your accountant
Legal questions - talk to a lawyer
Spiritual questions - talk to a rabbi/iman/priest/pastor/richard dawkings
Immigration questions - talk to migrationsamt
etc. etc. etc.
Delicate personal questions - ask an online forum.

Pass the popcorn please NAT.
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  #85  
Old 17.04.2009, 19:23
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Re: Acknowledgement of paternity/Child support - please help

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I thought you were a single mother with a deadbeat father and an axe to grind?
Since when can a single mother not be a lawyer? Anyway Aeneas, chill out and get off your high horse.
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  #86  
Old 17.04.2009, 20:17
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Re: Acknowledgement of paternity/Child support - please help

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. So you don't get the whole "I was on the pill honey, but... ooops..." It's entrapement. A child has to be a concious descision by both partners.
I dont need to be a doctor to tell you this - no birth control is ever 100% effective.

Someone pass me the popcorn please?
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  #87  
Old 17.04.2009, 20:45
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Re: Acknowledgement of paternity/Child support - please help

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Since when can a single mother not be a lawyer?
He forgot that single mothers knocked up by bums might have some intelligence after all.
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Old 10.08.2015, 03:32
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Re: Acknowledgement of paternity/Child support - please help

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"Appreciate your opinion zurichmom but it's not anywhere near fair or decent that a woman can actually make a call like this on her own, especially putting a guy up against the wall like this, leaving no say in the whole thing whatsoever."

Excuse me vlinder, but what "call" do you keep referring to? The call to keep or not keep a child? If it is not a woman's call, then whose call is it? The man's? So, are you suggesting that by law a woman should have to ask a man for permission to terminate a pregnancy? Or that a woman be legally forced to terminate a pregnancy if that is the father's wishes? You keep saying "it's not fair or decent that a woman can make a call like this." Clarify what you mean exactly.

If the child lived in the same country then at least he could build up a relationship with him/her. How do you think a guy feels like in a situation like this? It is by the way her choice to stay in Switzerland (one of the most expensive countries in Europe, of all paces).

Your comment above makes no sense. You say the mother has decided to live in Switzerland. So, presumably, it will not be difficult for the father to see the child (he is in CH too, correct?). Regardless, even if the mother lives in another country and the distance is not close, that has nothing to do with his obligation by law to pay child support (which by the way should not be a problem if your boyfriend is so "generous" and good hearted as you keep reminding us.)

There should always be room to talk, to think together and to negotiate but the way things go here is just undescribably ugly and actually makes me very angry.

Uhmmm. what exactly would you negotiate here? The amount of child support to be paid? Again, the amount is established by authorities using unbiased formulas based on what a father can afford according to his income. It is a contract between father and CHILD (again, not between father and mother). Surely, you do not expect a father and child to negotiate on how much a father ought to support his own child financially? Child support is the right of the child, not the right of the mother.


"If she wanted the child then she should not cry now she cannot support it by herself - not that she has ever planned to."

I will not even respond to the above statement as it is so utterly out of touch. So, if a woman decides to keep a child that she and a man conceived, and the man does not want it, she alone should support the child financially while the father gets off scott free? Wow....scary world that would be. All men would be getting girls knocked up and fleeing in the world according to vlinder.

It sounds like the situation is bothering you a lot more than it is the father. Quite honestly, you seem bitter the child is not yours and you probably resent the fact that all of this happened and now you indirectly have to deal with it. But the fact that you are pissed does not mean your boyfriend should have less of a responsibility for his actions. Get over it.
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Sorry if this sounds harsh but I really don't see what kind of further information you are asking for. The child is genetically his or it isn't - and you've said that DNA testing indicates it is. If it is (and once that is legally established) he has child support obligations - which you've said he acknowledges and is willing to fulfill. So the question is only the amount, and for that he needs a lawyer more than a bunch of well-meaning Internet people.

Couldn't have worded it better myself Mathnut.

But if I may add, I don't know what good a lawyer is going to do with respect to getting the amount of child support reduced. First, who determined the amount of child support? Swiss or Italian authorities? If the Swiss authorities have established the amount, they look at the father's tax returns and salary to determine what he must contribute. So, if they are requiring him to pay 800 euros a month, it is because they deem this to be a reasonable contribution given his income. It has nothing to do with the mother's requests or demands.

Should your boyfriend not pay this amount every month, it is not even the mother that would take your boyfriend to court, but the Zuerich Vormundschaftsbehoerde which steps in and acts as a guardian ad litem for the child (their job is to act in the best interest of the child). The parties to a child support contract are father and child, not father and mother.

You mention the mother is Italian. If she is in Italy and has gone to the authorities in Italy for child support, then, I cannot speak to the situation there. Either way, you should contact a lawyer specialized in these matters, but I don't really see what he or she will be able to do with respect to lowering the amount.[/QUOTE]


Dear mamazurich, you are awesome and well said. I'm just suddenly faced with legal and alimony issues in Switzerland and I'm terrified by what I'm hearing. Would love to get in touch with you and hear your experience. I've sent you a PM. Please help, I'm mortified and the man I'm dealing is a major a$$hole who knows the rules here much better than I do..
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  #89  
Old 10.08.2015, 11:06
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Re: Acknowledgement of paternity/Child support - please help

Necro warning. Other than bibi's, the youngest post is more than six years old.
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