My son is 8 weeks old, and he's my first, so I may not be as experienced as some of the others here. But maybe I can offer what I have gone through with breastfeeding - ok, what I am still going through.

As has been mentioned, there are many reasons for a baby to cry, or even many reasons for him to want the breast (besides, hunger).

Thirst. I've noticed when it's quite warm outside, my son is very thirsty. On those days, he wants to drink a lot. Sometimes even every hour.

Sucking. He really likes to suck, even when he's not hungry/thirsty. A pacifier is the nipple lifesaver. Try a few brands/types to find the material/shape he likes, then buy a bunch of them and strategically place them throughout the house, so there's always one within reach. My son is partial to the Avent brand.

Other top reasons my son cries:
- Wants attention or close contact ("pick me up / hold me / play with me").
- He's tired and can't fall asleep without being rocked, having his head stroked, and so on.
- Digestive trouble. It's uncomfortable to push all that milk through his system. A pacifier often helps, or rocking him on my knees in the upright position.
- He has hiccups. No joke. He gets them for like half an hour 1-3 times a day.
- "I have just spit out my pacifier and want it back!"

Your midwife or breastfeeding consultant (I think insurance covers 10 home visits) should be able to track his weight to make sure he's gaining well. Also, if he has a lot of full diapers, that's a good sign he's getting enough to eat.

Good luck and congratulations.

congratulations about your new baby!

what you are describing sounds completely normal and won't last forever- in fact, it won't last that long. newborn babies need to feed and be cuddled constantly, and that's the only way to establish successful breastfeeding. i would stay well away from any book or theory that advises you to space out feeds, and leave the pump/bottle for a few more weeks- that will come naturally in a few weeks. for now just enjoy your baby and take all this as an opportunity to rest (i know it doesn't feel like rest but trust me, you do need to sit/lying down as much as you can- if you can master the feeding while lying down technique you can snooze with him, and the rugby hold will allow you to read/drink a cup of tea while you nurse). let your husband help you till you've got your strength back and you will see that gradually things will fall into place.

have you got a sling (like a kari-me or moby wrap)? they are a god send- babies absolutely love to be snuggled up and you can get to do stuff around the house.

your baby will grow up SO fast- just enjoy this precious time with him. i know you don't know it yet and it feels hellish (i remember that feeling) but try to go with the flow as much as you can, I promise you it will get easier.

good luck!

Yo, I forgot to mention that it is pretty much a myth that nursing is easy and works well for everybody..Some women have it easy, true, but most people I know had to work for it. It is, nonetheless, definitely worth all the nerves. It is different for everybody, some kids prefer things certain way, some others, some parents bend themselves backwards, some have limits..Do not feel bad you are going through hardships. And I second the laying down position and cosleeping, that saved me and our 12x a day nursing schedule. One has to be so so careful but somehow I didn't have a trouble tuning in. HTH.

First congratulations!

I agree with others' comments. From the time my son was born until until a month after I started feeding him solids, he was nursing every hour - 24/7. I thought I was going to dispair. And then I felt guilty because it feels like these days the media makes you feel like a superhero if, phyically, you can breastfeed. But it doesn't become clear just how much hard work it is until you actually do it.

Like others have said, don't forget that maybe your baby just needs a cuddle.

Or maybe he/she has gas and needs some help there. I found rubbing my son's belly sometimes helped - to help alleviate the gas if a regular burp wasn't doing the trick and to learn to gauge if he did have gas to begin with.

Wishing you lots of endurance for this amazing time

Goodness, I had these experiences 15 years ago, but it is still so vivid.
My little girl just lost weight - never had enough, and I felt like I was never finished with breast feeding. I didn't understand it at all.
In the end, I went with bottles and thickening gels, that she could keep it down, she gained weight and all was ok.
But I remember it as a traumatic time.
Hang on in there.

Congratulations on your new baby! I went through the exact same thing twice. Thought I was going to collapse with exhaustion. I was going to post a link to Dr. Sears, as I found that extremely helpful but someone else already beat me to that one.

Some other advice I received from a lactation consultant to keep awake a sleepy baby included:
--make sure the baby is not too warm, as that will make them sleepy, so undress them as much as possible considering the weather. She particularly recommended tummy to tummy contact--have the baby's bare tummy against your own bare tummy, and that will help keep baby awake;
--tickle baby's scalp gently with your fingertips and fingernails (GENTLY, obviously ) while he nurses;
--try changing positions or holds of the baby;
--try nursing right after a good nap, rather than after the baby has been awake for a while.

I also agree with the advice to try to wait longer times between feedings, although that is often easier said than done. I found that for me, it took a good six weeks to develop a good routine. Both of my girls had growth spurts right around then that had them nursing every hour or so, but after that we were able to settle down to something more like a schedule. From that point my sanity slowly started to return, although I have given up hope that all of it will come back....

Good luck!

Thanks all for giving me so much useful advice and sharing your experience here. Sorry for the late reply as I tried to squeeze some time to read your comments in between the feeds. I will be defintely trying some of your techniques. and hopefully I will have some time to read the websites you recommended.
My boy actually doesn't cry for any other reasons apart from hunger so far. He drinks a lot and also seems to spit a lot. Is spitting a reason that he needs so much from me?
From reading your stories, I am hoping and still keeping positive thinking that things are going to be better..What I am worried right now is that we are going to go to different health professionals for check up in next two to three weeks. How am I going to take him out if he is on my breasts 24 hours...
I was about to give up when I posted on 25th...But after reading all your comments I have decided to carry on with breast feeding. Thanks again for all your help!

Just hang in there...newborn babies are a *lot* of work...and it does take a while to get better...they grow up soon enough!

It sounds like you are really determined to keep this up, which is great. I can only echo what the others have said that it is pretty much the first two weeks which are the hardest. You will find that with time your little one will become moe efficient at sucking, and your nursing sessions will become shorter and more spaced. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel. Just beware of griwth spurts at the 3 and 6 week mark!

If you are experiencing difficulties in breastfeeding, its a good idea to see a lactation professional as soon as possible. For example, are you sure you have enough milk? Could the baby have tounge-tie? Is your latch good? You mention that he spits up, can this be reflux? If there is a problem, the sooner you catch it, the easier it will be to fix it and to keep up feeding long term.

If your baby is getting enough each feed, I wouldn't worry about getting out. You will probably find that your baby is so happy to be out and about that he forgets about eating! In any case, bring a scarf or small blanket along and you're set with lunch for the little one.

Another point I find helpful is to keep the baby latched on even if it appears he's sleeping. You may find yourself tied down for 45 minutes but this way when you put him down, you know he won't be waking up hungry again for a while.

What does it mean that he spits a lot? What seems a lot to see may be a very small amount -- a teaspoon or so. Remember when you spill a glass of water on the floor, it lookes like a gallon. All babies regurgitate food, especially those that eat greedily and their small stomachs easily overflow.

Reflux is not just regurgitation, it is also intense discomfort. Babies that have acid reflux do not spit only immediately after a feed, but even hours later and they often spit out not only fresh but curdled milk. They usually cry a lot after being fed because stomach acid causes burning sensation in their throats. Their clothes and even hair are often wet with regurgitated food and you have to change their clothes several times per day.

But even acid reflux is not something that you should worry too much about. It is usually transient, most babies grow out of it by the time they start sitting upright properly. And as long as they keep gaining weight and are otherwise lively and healthy, this is more of a laundry than health issue.

It is great to hear that you have not given up. Remember that you are giving your baby AND yourself a great favour: human milk is made for human babies and it has all the ingredients that will help your baby later in life. It may also significantly reduce your risk of getting breast cancer. But even if health advantages of breastfeeding are overemphasised or erroneous, the feeling of closeness and comfort that you get from it is in the end, in spite of (or even because of) such hard work -- simply unbeatable!

HI, just wondering how you are. All the advice on here I would echo. However one thing that others didnt mention. Umm on risk of igniting a controversy. I remember it was supposed to be sacrosanct that you cannot feed formula if you breast feed. Um... It aint necessarily so. You can give it a try anyway if you're that close to giving up. Cause it is just such a satisfactory thing for a man to give his son a bottle. Both my sons took formula AND breastmilk. Just a bottle or 2 a day. You dont have to do the pump thing for just that much of a break. And I remember the just a chance to go to the toilet desire -let alone a shower. It's Ok to leave the darling for a short walk outside and it's OK to let him cry another minute or so. And it's Ok to want to. The first 6 weeks are the hardest. We'd all love a piccy!

I supplemented with a bit of formula here and there when me and the wee fella were a bit over-frazzled. Wasn't a regular thing and I also found pumping a feed and letting someone else take over once or twice reset my balance and made me feel a bit more human.

Almost three years on we've got a fully functioning totally normal healthy toddler so we must have got it right somewhere along the line.

Bottom line is that whatever you decide to do is your decision and if you do it with love, conviction and in good faith no one can question it.

As others have said; the spit up only really becomes an issue if your babe's not gaining weight.
My son was terrible with spitting up; all the time every time he fed. BUT he doubled his birthweight in 2 months and is now a very healthy 18 month old.
So as long as he's gaining weight, you probably don't need to be overly concerned apart from the fact that you'll be doing a ton of laundry and a half

Both of my girls had full-on reflux. They would always spit, and sometimes actually vomit an entire meal, which was frustrating when the meal took 45 minutes to get in there!! The one things that really seemed to make a difference for them was to make sure that they stayed upright for at least 20 minutes after every feeding. I could not have survived the early months without a sling, for that reason alone. Burping helped too, although even with a burp there was often a good bit of spitting.

Again, good luck. Hope some of this helps!

Hi,


When our 2 year-old was just born, my wife had similar experiences that he would feed for a couple of minutes then nod off and then want to be fed an hour later - which made for sleepless nights!

I read around the subject and we decided to introduce a routine to the sleep, feed, nappy-change cycle.

You have to remember that a baby's stomach gets full after 15 mins of feeding, and that a single feed will keep them going for about 3 hours. So we did the following:

- First thing in the morning, feed him for 15 minutes (time it with a stopwatch)
- Play a bit, let him doze off
- 3 hours later, change his nappy (which will wake him up)
- feed for 15 minutes
- Play a bit, let him doze off
...and so on...

Initially - for the first couple of days - we took a note of when he fed and slept; and he got into the routine without too much difficulty. Also, use the time in-between to relax yourself (cooking and cleaning is something for dads to do).

The longer term benefit was it was much easier to introduce a proper bedtime routine as he got older such that we rarely have problems getting him to sleep at nights - he was sleeping through from about 5-6 months.

Don't forget to involve your partner in the feeding routine.

Cheers,
Nick

It is not that you can not feed formula, of course you can, but if you want to make sure that breastfeeding succeeds, then it is better not to introduce any artificial nipples (bottles or dummies) and formula, at least until breastfeeding is firmly established.

The reason is very simple: whatever amount of formula or water or tea or any other liquid your baby gets, the amount of milk you produce will decrease by the same amount. As for artificial nipples, the way the baby drinks from a bottle is different from the way she latches on the breast. This is mistakenly referred to as 'nipple confusion', although the baby is not confused, she learns that she can get milk much more quickly from a bottle so she can easily become frustrated and unhappy with breastfeeding which requires a lot more effort. Also, many, although not all, babies who learn to drink from the bottle do not latch on properly which can cause discomfort and pain for the mother.

While many babies that can successfully do both, it is important to remember that there are also many for whom one bottle meant the end of breastfeeding. The problem is that you never how your baby will respond.

As for men, I think that they can also find satisfaction from knowing that their baby is getting the most appropriate food. After all, exclusive breastfeeding lasts some six months, rarely a bit more. There is plenty of time for fathers to get their chance once the baby starts taking solids.

Heya

I just wanted so a huge congrats on the new addition to your family!!

I hope that things are starting to settle down a little for you!

But dont give up on the breastfeeding just yet. According to my mother who happens to be a midwife ( yes that was a godsend when my daughter was born last july) breastfeeding takes approxiamtly 6 weeks to fully establish so there is light at the end of the tunnel!!

Yes the first weeks can be a bit difficult, but the rewards are there ( and trust me i never thought that I would hear myself say that ... ) But that being said dont dispair if you find that you cant continue...

Mia was also a ´snacker ´ and would feed every hour or so in the first months and fall asleep on the boob after only a minute or two but as she got older it gradually lengthened out between feeds. That also having been said I have done everything Baby-led, attachment parenting style. Slings of whichever discription you purchase are wonderful things, I have the babybjörn active which has an extra back plate for support which is especially good in the first weeks as your body is still very slowly getting back to normal and babies love to be close to mum!

I am still breatsfeeding her and next month she will be a year old - my god the time flies - shes currently downstairs playing with and eating the dogs food, dont know that its all that healthy for her but it certainly isnt dangerous!

I know how hard it can be to be a new mum in a foreign country so if there is anything that I can help you with, maybe take you out for a coffee when your feeling up to it or come and watch your little angel so you can have a long shower or go and paint your nails please feel free to contact me!!!

so my suggestions are really listen to your baby , you are his entire world at the moment and will remain so for at least a few more months yet, but get as must rest as you can , dont be afraid to stay in bed til midday and yes lying on the couch watching tv is resting!!

Enjoy
kt

Congratulations on your baby! Mine just turned 10 weeks. He wasn't bad at first, just around the 3rd and 6th week he seemed like he wanted to eat constantly. Feeding right after they wake up and you change him is a good idea. Sometimes mine will eat for a little bit so his tummy has a little something and then he'll be happy to play for an hour, and then eat again a bit later to go down for another nap.

He was in the neonatology unit for jaundice for a week after he was born, and was bottle fed in there during the times I wasn't there, and was still ok b/f when I got to bring him home. If there are times when you are just too tired to b/f, then definitely make a bottle for your husband to give him. I wouldn't do it too often till he's a little older though, as other people have said, he will start to prefer it.

A baby sling is also a great idea, mine seems to go to sleep after he's been in it for a few minutes. Also, I was worried about him wanting to be fed while I was out with him (have had to do it twice actually), but for the most part, if he's in a carrier, he stays asleep, or if he's in the stroller, as long as I"m moving it, he's good.

Good luck with everything! The websites are all great sources of information, I really like the kellymom and the babycenter one.
If you have any other questions, feel free to send me a msg, as ours aren't that far apart, I've probably had the same issue recently

Sorry to butt in again, but just a few thoughts on the above: this advice I guess can work with bottlefeeding because it is very easy to see how much the baby drank. With breastfeeding it is nearly impossible to tell. Some babies can fill their stomach in 5 minutes, others need much more than 15.

It also changes with age. Older babies (six months and more) rarely just eat at the breast, they are often restless and distracted because they look around and play while eating.

So while having some degree of predictability can reassure parents, introducing such strict a routine may become a source of endless frustration.

My two children taught me that the only predictable thing about them was fickleness.

I think the point is, reading all the posts above, is that there is no wrong or right way to do anything regarding a baby, not only breastfeeding.

Nearly every poster above has got a different experience and different way of dealing with it. If introducing a structure relaxes the parents then relaxed parents normally mean a relaxed baby. If feeding the baby whenever he whimpers works for another parent then that is fine, too.

Advice should only be followed if it applies to you, which might sound a bit odd, but I think if a mother tries to copy what other parents have done because you are told (or frightened into believing) that it will have a detrimental effect on the baby that can't be good for anyone.

I think we should stick to just recounting our experiences to help the OP and anyone else having issues with breastfeeding. Some of the experiences and/or solutions might fit and help and some might not.

I think half the trouble I had with "over-frazzled" moments with my newborn was because I kept reading or being told about all sorts of things that could go wrong which didn't really help with my confidence.