Hi All,

I have just given birth to a big hungry boy one and half weeks ago and now I am struggling with breast feeding him. When it comes to feeding, he is a typical rester. He likes to nurse a few minutes and then rest a few minutes. It's completely nip-and-nap. At nights, it's kind of all right as I choose the side-lying position and nap with him. But in the daytime, I feel like I am doing absolutely nothing but feeding him and at the end of the day he is still not satisfied. At the moment my husband is taking weeks off to support me so I can get something to eat and go to the loo...but i can't imagine when my husband goes to work, what am I going to do with him...I have tried all my stillberatung's advice to wake him up but nothing seems to work so far...

I am here crying for help. Has anybody got experience of feeding a rester? I appreciate all your advice..

Many thanks in advance..

a desperate new mum

Congratulations on your new born!

We had similar experience with our daughter when she arrived. It was difficult to begin with as both mother and child need to get used to each other and to discover how this whole breast feeding malarky works.
It can take a little while so some patience is needed.

You can try looking at La Leche Liga (google it) they offer a lot of advice on breast feeding, your midwife should also be able to offer some advice and I'm sure there are plenty of mum's on the EF that will come and offer you some help here.

One thing we found to be important was not to make yourself a slave to the baby's feeding patterns but to try to set feeding times at regular intervals, not be available "on tap".

EDIT, try here too: http://www.stillberatung.ch/ (in English too) and here is the contacts page: http://www.stillberatung.ch/index.ph...d=15&Itemid=37

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Mens sana in campari soda

Congratulation for the baby!

After my baby girl was born, someone told me to read this, and I'm glad I did,

http://www.amazon.ca/Secrets-Baby-Wh.../dp/0345479092

I hope it will help you as much at it help me. It's not long to read and easy to understand.

Good luck to the new family!

Nil

oh love i remember doing that too!

it's tough in the beginning, especially when you're both getting used to each other and getting comfortable with feeding too. it's normal that he's napping after eating a bit especially in the beginning. as the milk gets more full of fat and he grows he'll begin to become more awake and active as he's feeding- but at just one 1/2 weeks he's gonna fall asleep regardless!

i think my son sleep pretty much constantly for the first 4 weeks or so and i felt like all i was doing was feeding him consecutively and changing him. that coupled with my hormones made me pretty frustrated and a bit depressed but i promise you in a few weeks it'll be more regular. it's too early to put a schedule to him, more important that he eats all he can and at around 2 months or so you can start to regulate (a bit) to try to get him to feed around the same time and that will definitely make life easier.

as for the help of your husband- it's great he took time off for now, maybe you can try pumping some milk and let him give the little one a bottle once a day or so. this will help daddy bond with the little one and give you a break. also, in the first weeks i remember my man feeling a bit out of the loop because it was all about mommy and baby and the breast , which is great but can be a bit isolating.

please feel free to pm me whenever you need- i know this can be frustrating and tiring- but please know you are doing the best for him and this is normal behavior for such a little one!

the best of luck!!!

you have a private message

I know this sounds really silly but put breastfeeding into Youtube search and many great videos come up. The advantage is you can actually see other mothers breastfeeding and this might give you tips on position and how to tell that you baby is getting enough milk to satiate himself.

Congratulations on your new addition to the family. Things really do settle down in a few weeks, especially when you gain confidence and can take your baby out in this wonderful sunshine for a nice stroll and can sit some where quiet and feed him. This helps the feeling you are doing nothing but feeding subside...
Good luck,
Gal x

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Career advice? http://www.englishforum.ch/commercia...st-zurich.html

YES, by all means go for the electric pump. IT`s a godsend. That worked magic for us, gave my wife a break, and i didn`t mind helping out at feeding time.

Not got much more advice than what the others above have said except to say that it is early days yet and whatever you are doing now must be the right thing (even if it feels like it's one long nightmare).

Nobody told me how blimmin' difficult the whole breastfeeding thing was - I had problems getting my fidgety little bundle of joy to latch on in the first 3 weeks but after that time and when he put a bit of bulk on it all got a lot easier and we found our routine.

Don't despair.

My little boy, who's 3 now, was premature, and wanted to eat 12-14 times a day... So I completely understand what you're going through!

I think that feeding on demand (which is essential, of course) doesn't mean that you have to feed your baby each time he cries! Babies cry for many reasons: hunger, yes, but also tummyache, boredom, anger, testing their voice... I know it's somewhat difficult for a new mom to 'decode' those cries, and it will come with time.

The problem, now, is that your son's tummy is never totally full or totally empty. I suggest you don't feed him immediately if he ate less than an hour ago, but try to confort or play with him. This way, when you do feed him, he'll be really hungry and will want to take more food, thus leaving you more time 'till the next feeding. See the idea?

Moreover, a baby can perfectly nurse while sleeping. Mine used to do that all the time. So if your baby doesn't suckle for more than a few minutes at a time, it's probably because his tummy is not empty, and he's not really hungry! Maybe he simply likes to suckle, in which case you might consider using a dummy?

Anyway, I really encourage you to go on with breastfeeding! The first few weeks are a bit tricky, but I promise you everything gets easier after that. I brestfed for 2 years, and I loved every minute of it!

My son would want to feed every hour and would fall asleep during feeds. The advice from the midwives in hospital was to keep him awake by gently stroking him - anywhere but his face because this can interfere with their sucking. I used to tickle his feet to keep him awake They also said to change the diaper when you are done on one side to wake the baby up then continue on the other side.

For wanting to feel every hour, the Mütter & Väter beratung said that he should be feeding every three hours and recommended a dummy to satisfy the sucking earge until the next feed. This worked great and we had no dummy addiction - he spat it out at about 6 months and didn't want it again.

Good luck, and get plenty to rest while the baby sleeps.

I highly recommend online grocery shopping...www.leshop.ch...you can order in English and pay with credit card, and they deliver the following evening between 5-8pm.

Try to only go out when you *want* to, not when you feel you *need* to...there is too much pressure in my opinion for mums to get 'back to normal' after a birth...instead, this is a really really important time for you and bubs to get to know each other, and to nurtured and loved...and there are plenty of nasty things going around at the moment, so it's better to keep your bubs away from strange persons...

This webpage is a pretty good description of 'sleep patterns'...http://www.lpch.org/DiseaseHealthInf.../behrslep.html
please note that when it says 8-9 hours in the night, that doesn't mean *uninterrupted* - newborns do wake regularly at night!

All my three children breastfed 2 hourly round-the-clock for the first 6-8 weeks, my really low point was at the 6 week mark and again around 6 months...it really is tough but I promise it does get better...but there's no 'magic solution' most of it is a lot of hard hard work!

I can also recommend the Australian Breastfeeding Association website and there is a forum and you can get breastfeeding counselling via email in English...www.breastfeeding.asn.au

congratulations! just seconding what everyone else has said, i found b/feeding horrendously hard for the 1st couple of months and was exhausted and hacked off with people telling me how marvellous and bonding it all was..BUT it gets much, much easier as you both work out what you're doing and settle into more of a pattern (but if you don't continue for any reason, then please don't feel at all bad). there's quite a good US site (i think) called http://www.kellymom.com which has info and advice. i used a 'hospital grade' breastpump which looked gruesome but was very efficient and speedy and meant that my husband could do the 11pm feed and i could get some sleep until the next one. i also found going out and meeting other new/terrified mothers in the same position was really helpful. good luck!

only one other suggestion to add - one of mine was very sleepy, I used a cool wet cloth to wake him if he fell asleep and stopped sucking, also I found that once they had finished one side they often weren't too enthusiastic about the other side, so changing their nappy between sides woke them up a bit too - that helped them to keep going!

Good luck and don't despair yet - it is very early days, you will find that things get easier soon!

Jo

Another thing occurred to me which my midwife told me at the time: Sometimes ladies who have ample boobies find the baby doesn't drink for long periods. This is often because the milk ducts within the breasts are more deep-set (i.e. covered by a thicker layer of breast tissue) and the baby therefore has to suck the milk a greater distance which is tiring until he or she gets used to it and develops greater strength.

Smaller breasted ladies have their milk ducts nearer the surface and the baby finds it easier to draw the milk a shorter distance.

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Don't sweat the petty things. Don't pet the sweaty things.

all i can say is yes, the first weeks you feel like all you are doing is feeding!! but it gets easier
you are also allowed to let them cry a bit when you go to the toilet or something.
just catch up on reading all those novels and forget the housework for a few months
...though there are two books which helped me a LOT

the secrets of a baby whisperer and gina fords contented little baby book
i found them 2 extremes/sides of the same coin

http://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Baby-W.../dp/0345440900

http://www.amazon.com/New-Contented-...5949512&sr=1-1

but most importantly TALK!!! talk about it!!!
having a new baby is bloody hard, especially the new demands on your time. it does get easier!!

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Did I just say that or was I just thinking it?

Congratulations! Yes it can be very difficult at first and it does feel like all you are doing is feeding.

I tried a wet facecloth on my babies feet to try and keep them awake. Sometimes it worked.

Another reason a baby might cry which has not been mentioned yet, is he may want to held. After all he has been held constantly up until he was born. I found the use of a baby sling or carrier worked a treat.

Give yourself some time to rest and really, really it will get better. It is a total shock having a baby something no one can prepare for. If you feel you need help, keep asking, you can probably get more help from your midwife or a lactation consultant, here, a new mothers group, etc.. However your milk supply will take some time to settle down and you and your son are still learning.



Larissa
Mum to 3

Dear Desperate,

Congratulations on the birth of your son! One of my kids was a tiny premie (5 lbs.) and all she wanted to do was sleep. The nurses in the hospital gave me a great tip. Flick the bottoms of her feet with your index finger and your thumb, just like you were flicking away a bug or a piece of lint. Keep flicking and he will stay awake long enough to get a decent meal in him which will hopefully put him to sleep for a nice, long time.

Good luck!

Newborns often do not have a lot of stamina to nurse for a long time. They are also still recovering from birth and need a lot of sleep. This should all change after about 2 weeks and he should become more alert and also stronger, so he will probably not fall asleep so often when feeding.

The only indicator for these early days is whether he gains weight or not. A baby that gains adequately gets milk, and you have nothing to worry about. So let the midwife weigh your baby to make sure that he actually eats, not just nips and sleeps at the breast.

As others have said before me, breastfeeding is hard for the mother, but it is a relatively short time compared to the rest of your life. First months are difficult because you need to establish good milk supply. This is why I would be reluctant about putting your baby on any schedule right now -- the more often he suckles (not sucks) at the breast, the more milk you will produce and you have a better chance to exclusively breastfeed.

Some weeks from now, when you learn to recognise the signs of a good latch and you are assured that he gains well, you can try to extend periods between feeds.

The best resource for breastfeeding (with videos to see exactly what a good latch is and whether the baby really gets the milk): http://www.drjacknewman.com/video-clips.asp

i agree whole heartedly with all the commensts...
my other advice for you is - both of you - don't forget yourselves too much! it does not come naturally to anybody! this is hard work and emotionally draining - i know nobody probably told you this at your baby shower - there they talk about birth - it always amuses me how few people talk about the thereafter!!!
you are a great mom and he is a great dad and you have a great baby and you will make it!!!

I second the www.kellymom.com, fantastic, and also www.babycenter.com have online forums to give you very good advice immediately, the ladies there are devoted. Here is good info on breastfeeding too Dr. Sears .

It is important to realize, everything is so intense now, hormons, birth, lactating, sleep deprivation, it will all ease itself in a couple of days. Babies soon establish a schedule that corresponds to their needs.

I agree wholeheartedly with being careful with imposing a routine, since more milk you get out of your boobs more milk it means in following days for your little one (since your production will increase) and less work for him while trying to suck it out.

We had a super chilled babe and I was not too worried about my supply and it dried out during our child's growth spurt and I ended up nursing every hour for couple of months to make up for it. It is way easier to establish a good supply now then try to kick up your supply laters. Pump a little after every feeding, it will support your lactation.

And, what helped me remain relatively sane, was - get out of your house. Go get some coffee by yourself, for a little walk, read a paper, window shop. See friends (having them over is stressfull, one feels guilty for having one's household upside down), meet up over coffee. See other parents and newborns, there are meeting groups for children every age.

Good luck and congrats on your baby. It is wonderful you are willing to nurse your child, it's a gift for life.