Hi, I am looking for some advice here because I am at my wits' end: My 3.5 year old daughter was potty trained and everything was working fine until we decided to move to the UK.
The move will be in December, but obviously there are changes taking place. We went to the UK to look at some houses and took our kids with us, we are discussing things at home, ...
Anyway, our 5 year old seems to be understanding quite well, but my daughter keeps having more and more "accidents" - up to 8-9 per day. I have tried sticker charts and every other reward scheme that I could think of, I have tried explaining the whole move thing over and over and making it comprehensible for her, but nothing is working.
So the big question is: Should I just let her go back into nappies and then start all over again once we have moved?
I would really appreciate some input here!
Thanks, swisskat.

*hugs* Kat and her little ones, I know moving about is quite rough on everyone.

What do you have her wearing now? Panties or pull-ups? If it is the former, I'd say that rather than going back to nappies to try the pull-ups as any accidents will be less drastic and so less likely to cause additional stress for the little one (and you).

I can hear the groans already..... what about a cork ?

Reassure your child, give her comfort. Talk to her about the move, and give her attention, both you and your spouse, to reinforce her security from the love of her parents. Talk up her self-esteem. Ask her gently, discuss with her, if she wants to go to pull-ups, or even nappies - she may well be upset over these accidents. If it's just imposed, you may find you're adding another trauma, that'll have repercussions further down the line.

8-9 per day sounds like a trip to the doctor is needed to rule out any bladder trouble. It could be the upcoming move but I wouldn't be so quick to blame that before a thorough medical check up. If it is the move, then I would back off on the potty training as things are likely only to get only more chaotic. Some kids are fine until they see their things being packed. Changes for children can be very unsettling. As it has been said, they need to feel secure.

Maybe you are making too big an issue of it all. She is way too young to understand what is going on. Keep life as normal as possible and don't keep going on about the move. However, of course, don't avoid the issue. Just mention it matter-of-fact, if necessary. Don't give her options about what she wants or when she wants to do something...relating to the move. They can't grasp what the implications might be. Children that age need you to guide them and make decisions for them. They don't need to have questions and options they don't understand, piled onto them.
For what it's worth, that's my opinion. We moved 3 times when the boys were little and never had any problems. Kids are much tougher than we give them credit for. Besides which, life is tough and as long as you are there for them, they'll learn to cope with changes.

Just to reassure, however, I agree that a trip to the doc is a good idea.

Good luck with it and the move.

I don't have any advice, but there is a very helpful UK site for mums called mumsnet where you will probably find someone who has been through something similar.

I agree with NotAllThere. My little one (just turned 4) was always regressing with her potty training whenever we travelled, which we do quite often. It is frustrating and upsetting for everyone.

I also agree it is worth checking it is nothing medical but experience has taught me that stress, uncertainty and the unfamiliar are major triggers for the accidents.

Try and make sure whenever you talk about the move it is with excitement and anticipation (I can imagine lots of the discussions between you and your partner are dealing with logisitics and potential issues so the kids will take this onboard). Make sure the kids start feeling the move is a really fun and exciting thing rather than a trauma to be endured. Easier said than done, I know!

Also, perhaps pull-ups as PegA suggested could be a good interim solution but only you know how your child would react to this step.

Good luck.

Tks Love Doctor, knew i could rely on somebody.

Definitely do a trip to the Paediatrician to rule out any other medical reasons before trying some 'behavioural' solutions...

Even to wee 8-9 times in a day would be unusual for a child of that age, whether they are underpants, nappies or whatever...they usually hold on a lot longer...

Common medical reasons would be urinary tract infection, thrush, allergies, irritation. Less common reasons would be diabetes (is she unusually thirsty?)...or a few other kidney and blood things...

Get her back into pull-ups and everyone take a deep breath.. she is without a doubt going to get toilet trained completely but perhaps when there is less stress around her with the upcoming move.

You both do not need to feel stressed about toilet training on top of everything else.. calm the whole situation down and take your time.. continue to train her but in a more relaxed way and if she has an accident, she's got the pull-ups so everything's cool.

Good luck (i've one trained that took forever and another to do)

__________________
"Those who drink to forget, please pay in advance." - Sign at the Hibernian Bar, Cork City.

Must confess that it was from Mrs NotAllThere. I think I'll get her to sign up, perhaps with the handle "DefinitelyOfSoundMind".

Hi,

My 3 Year old son has been out of nappies for 6 months and doing really well but we have just returned from a 2 week visit with family in the Uk and he was wetting himself at least 6 times a day. Since we returned a week ago he has been ok with just the odd accident so it may be just due to the change and nothing serious. I would try not to worry and see how things go.

Good luck with your move x