Hi everyone,

I need to travel to the US to visit my grandfather, who is terminally ill. The flight is 11 hours (Zurich to Chicago) followed by a 3.5 hour drive...and I will be making the return trip 4 days later.

I'd like to bring my 15 month old daughter so she can see her great-grandfather one more time, but I'm terrified of the trip with her! She's wonderful, but this is really asking a lot of a toddler. She's not used to riding in a car (we don't have one) and of course, is not used to air travel.

Am I crazy? Should I leave her behind with my husband? If I take her, how are we going to survive two 14.5 hour trips in 5 days? Any suggestions would be great-I don't want to be that woman with the screaming kid on the airplane. . .

Leave her behind. If you are intent on taking her, do a search on this forum as there are a lot of good tips on traveling with little kids (start by looking at the threads at the bottom of this page).

Sorry to hear about your grandfather. Maybe he would enjoy seeing your daughter but I doubt if it will mean much to her.

Of course your not mad - it's understandable why you would consider taking her. As a mum I would be in exactly the same place.

It's very hard to think logically when you are in a very emotional situation like facing the loss of someone close to you.

As an outsider, who can look at it objectively I would say that even if you take her, your daughter wont remember seeing her great grandfather. If you don't take her - your journey will be a lot less stressful and you will make the most of the visit enabling you to say your goodbyes.

I travelled trans-atlantically with my 2 boys 5 or 6 times alone (the youngest was only 7 months when we moved to the US) and it's incredibly hardwork, and stressful for them as well as you.

I guess logically it would be best to leave her with her dad, but you have to do what feels right.

Good luck whatever you do

I agree. Leave her behind. When I get tired, I get grumpy. If you are like me, then this wont be fair to your daughter. You will be much more mobile without her, and wont need to think about babysitting etc if other relatives ask you out. She wont remember the visit, or appreciate it.

Cant remember if the US airlines have carried out their threat not to let passengers get up in the last hour of a flight. But this wont be easy for a young child if it is the case.

It will be nice for your husband to have some one on one time with your daughter, and he will sure look forward to your return!

Not worth the strain and the time-zone problem. That's a lot of traveling with no time to adjust in between (even for you). Wouldn't it be nice to make a lovely home video and take it with you to show your grandfather ?
She'll be more comfortable at home. If it were a 2 or 3 week trip you were considering, it could be worth it, but 4 days?

An entire days travelling (round trip) for 4 days.. thats rough even for an adult.

Let daddy take some holiday leave from work, if your lucky enough to be working, and care for his child. If he is completely incapable.. then time to learn, I'm sure a 15 month toddler can show him everything that matters.

CK

Sorry that you're having to make such a sad trip.
It's quite a long trip for a very short stay by adult standards. It won't be a ride in the park for a little one. But if you decide that it's important to you, then I'd definitely recommend bringing her car seat to use on the flight. She'll be sitting a lot more comfortably than on your lap or on her own seat.
Good luck either way!

i have to agree it's a lot of travelling for a little, one. but, i think if i was in your situation, i would bring her. it is really meaningful and such a help to have a little one around at a time like that, and i'm sure your grandfather would appreciate it. that being said, get ready for a tough time, because it may be really tough for her after staying still for so long, so make sure if you bring her to give her plenty of time to be a crazy, active toddler.

i personally would recommend bringing as little as possible. if you are travelling alone, the best way to keep her occupied is with your attention and care- and lugging strollers, car seats and everything around can be an added hassle and stress for you. see if someone can have all that stuff borrowed when you arrive.

either way you need to decide what is easiest for you, it's a really tough decision to make and be sure that whatever you choose is ok- the most important thing is that you are there with your family.

hope all goes well and my best...

Someone asked about whether or not you can get up in the last part of the flight... I've been to the US in the last month and there were no problems on American - both international and domestic flights - people got up, did stuff, up until the absolutley final descent.

If you have extra frequent flyer miles, would it be possible for you to upgrade to business class? This might give you some extra room with your daughter, and the truth is that the flight attendants are much more attentive to you in business or first, so you could get some extra help.

It's a tough call either way - I can see both sides of it. Your daughter might help you through the rough part of this, or she could make it that much harder.

Best of luck with your trip, whatever you decide.

Thanks for the input-this sounds really stupid, but I hadn't really thought about what the 7 hour time difference would be like for my daughter. I think grandpa would love to see her, but maybe it's selfish to impose what's sure to be a nasty case of jetlag on a her just because I'd like to see them together.

We have decided to see whether or not we can extend the visit to see other relatives (and stay for two weeks total), and if not to probably leave her home with Papi (who is completely capable of taking care of her for a few days ).