Hi,

Where abouts in Pully do you live? I am a nanny, and I am currently between jobs - starting work full time at the end of this month, and working occasionally in between. I can drive, but don't have a car. I may be able to help you out if you need someone, I live in Pully too and although I will not do housework I will quite happily care for your children or take them out to the park or something if you need a break during those 8 days. I have done proxy-parenting myself and after 4-5 days alone with children you kind of need to scream and do something where you can socialise with adults. If you need any help please pm me and we'll see if we can work something out.

Sam

Oh thanks, Boxman... now I've got not only 'Confidence' but the whole d*mned musical running in an infinite loop in my head.

I've only skimmed the thread, so maybe someone else has already given the same advice, but...

Either you can take the 2.5 year old to preschool or you can keep her home that week. Both are OK, won't hurt her one bit. If you do take her to preschool, go for the bus. MUCH cheaper than a taxi, and 35 minutes is not the eternity it sounds (even with a 2-year-old.) Plus on the way back you can pick up groceries, instead of making a second trip out.

Whatever you do, I suggest doing some practice runs NOW, before hubby's trip. If you don't normally do your grocery shopping with both kids in tow, do it this week. If you don't normally ride the bus, ride it this week. The idea is to figure out how everything works while you still have an emergency backup.

Oh, and don't be afraid to let the housework slide a bit, otherwise you'll drive yourself nuts. Time enough to clean once your life is back to normal. (Which it will be! This week will be a bit messy, a bit chaotic... but you will all live!)

I wish you the best of luck. If you need someone to talk to about it all, you know where the PM button is...

MathNut

That last post is the only light of reason in the last 90% of this train wreck.

Thread closed.

Due to popular demand, I've reopened this thread. Please keep your posts on topic (which, for those who have forgotten, is elaborated in the first post in this thread), otherwise the thread will be closed again.

Good luck, muffin, I can completely see why would one feel overwhelmed. I also think it has nothing to do with the actual logistics, etc..It is so nice to be able to raise your children in a complete family and comfortably be used to cooperating involved husband sharing responsibilities. So, it might feel overwhelming, at first, especially if you are by nature a worrywart like some of us. You can do it! You might actually really enjoy it, haha...Men complicate things at times.

I can easily pull off mothering without a car, too, so I am also relearning to drive again, at my pace. Besides, who has the cash for gas these days? Another thing is, people tend to forget we are in a foreign country (3 years stuck with kids does not allow one to actually get much independence, especially if money is short) where things don't have to work smoothly in emergency situations, I have been there, what does one do if you do not speak the lingo,etc..But don't stress yourself with scenarios. Moms are high on stress hormons as it is, even a year after delivery, perfectionists by nature fretting over everything, etc.

I can only suggest to visualize the positives - sometimes hubby gone means less work, forget schedules and school times, have a blast feeling you can do whatever you and your kids feel like. If you need moral support, let me know. Stock up on dvds, kid foods and snacks, have a pizza or whatever delivered, stock your freezer before your hubby leaves, lower your standarts, don't bathe your children every day, change clothes only if dirty, housework can wait, have a back up plan for real emergencies (hospital, injury, etc), have your hubby, family or friends check on you, we can check on you too, if you need to. I agree - forget the school, have friends come to you for playdaytes! I forgot where you live, pm me if you need anything, really, even if you want to vent. There are few more moms living nearby.

Your little one will be selfcontained, here are some sites for indoor fun with tots , some more , etc...

Reduce your activity mode to walk around a bit with kids, look at things together, blow bubbles, walk to the nearest store (carrying your little one, wearing him, will leave your hands free to chase after your tot), have a backpack, leave the stroller at home. You can buy a carrier cheaply at a thrift store, before your hubby goes.

If you can, try to calm down so your babes don't pick on you being nervous. Your hubby will have a blast, now I seriously think you and your kids deserve the same.

Seemingly you managed to answer you own question, but does looking after your own children really cause you so much angst and for such a small timeframe... wait until puberty kicks in.

I agree

The process of making kids its easy. Its after having them that all the problems start

So true. Little kids have little problems, but bigger kids have bigger problems.

You are not alone in your predicament. It comes as part and parcel of being a mum.

I left the UK & moved to the US when my kids were 2.5 & 7m after 2 weeks hubby flew back to Uk & was gone for 10 days. I was alone & knew no-one. At that time we had no pre-school set up & my youngest was sick. As you can see very similar situation.

My advice & it worked well for me...

1. Forget school for this 1 week - you are adding too much stress which is not needed.

2. Make a plan for each day - do something different on each one. Even if it is small like a trip to the supermarket. Focus on that as your main objective for the day. Do it at the best time for your kids (you know them best - mine are better in the morning than the afternoon).

Do things like a trip to an indoor shopping centre or IKEA (on a quiet day) - I used this alot as the toddler can run ahead and not get into too much trouble. The park if the weather is dry (just wrap up warm on a cold day - still burns energy). A trip on a train somewhere different - have lunch & come back etc.

3. Stop thinking of looking after your kids as a daunting task - you are talking yourself into believing that you can't do this.

4. make as many meals ahead of time - if you are not a big cook buy in ready meals or easy to cook things that can come straight from the freezer - chicken nuggets; pizza; sausages etc tinned food i.e. soup. OK they nutrition level may not be up to normal but they will not starve or become malnourished after 8 days.

5. keep your chin up & try and find playgroups or other mums to talk to - lack of adult conversation is one of the worst things.

6. be super double prepared for the weekends - this is always worse than weekdays and more lonely.

Anyway - just my opinion - as I said I've got the well worn T-shirt too, in fact I think mine is now threadbare

Upsetting their routine by not taking them to school, then an Ikea/shopping trip followed by junk food sounds like a recipe for a difficult day.

I keep everything as normal as possible when my husband isn't around. Last time it took our son 4 days to notice that daddy wasn't around

Hang in there sweetheart, as my ol' grandma used to say (she had loads of kids and no washing machine) they don't always stay 6 months You'll get through this and maybe you'll even enjoy running the show alone for a few days.

Take the eldest out of daycare for a few days (it won't leave a dent on his future CV)
Make sure you've got all your groceries and goodies before his big trip
Make sure you've got doctors who speak English
Find a babysitter, if anything just to come over for tea and a chat

What you're missing is an infrastructure to count on.
Stay tuned to EF, and we'll see ya through !

like I said just speaking from my experience - it worked for me.

Sometimes people obsess about routine. I know it's important & we have always had one but have also known when to break it if needs must - at 2.5 years old a fun outing in a safe environment where you can explore and see new things can be a great treat for a little one - it's all about how you approach things. They pick up on your attitude and so if your positive they know it's all good.

OP - what do you usually do with the kids? How is your husband absence going to make too much difference in your routine? If he is working all day he cant really be doing that much..

Hi,

If it was me, I wouldn't keep the 2.5 year old from the Kinderkrippe [nursery] as it will give you a little breathing space - in spite of the travel involved.

Perhaps your hubby can help find someone who can give you a lift there if driving is a problem.

Maybe a bit late to consider it for this particular time; but your 6 month-old is surely old enough to go to the Krippe also?

Cheers,
Nick

..and others would actually enjoy spending the time with their kids.

Hm, can one be stressed about not having the only emergency contact on call since he has to leave the country, and still be a mom, loving person, who does enjoy the time spent with kids but worries what if...?

Why do we need to hint at the OP's suspected incompetence? Panic if I remember well, is a normal human reaction, does not mean one is a loser. Next time somebody asks for dishwashing tablets let's call them useless, incompetent and dumb housekeepers.

It's getting tiring to read all the "when I was at home with kids, I was a superhero" or the jealous " I wish I was in your shoes" unhelpful coments. We don't know the OP's situ nor the reasons why things are the way they are, she definitely didn't ask us to evaluate her parenting skills, either. Let's not read too much into it.

Muf, I hope all is fine and you are just coasting though! Let us know..

Rejoice in the knowledge you are not the only person in this sitiuation. There are hundreds of thousands, probably millions, of single mums in Britain alone who have to go through the same as you, every day, and don't have the luxery of a husband who will come back from Argentina in eight days. Plus they probably live in a crappy council house thats falling aprt in a $h!t estate where their ten year olds can't walk to school on their own, much less their five year olds. I'm guessing, maybe I'm wrong if I am forgive me, you live in a nice house with all mod cons in a nice safe place in Switzerland. So life isn't so bad. You have two lovely kids who are in good health. Enjoy them. Look on the bright side, there are plenty of people in a much worse position than yourself. Think how gutted their father will be that he won't be able to see them for over a week. It breaks my heart to go a week without seeing mine. I'd far rather be in your position I can assure you. Think how you'd feel if they were taken away from you for a week.

So, now your hopefully in a better frame of mind, practicallities. Obviously the 6 month old isn't going to be too much trouble, as they're probably barely crawling yet, as long as you keep them warm, dry, clean and well fed they'll be happy enough. So your main priority is your toddler, in terms of the energy it will take to keep them entertained and stop them driving you mad.

My experience is the best thing to do with kids is to knacker them out, let them run all that energy they've got off, so they sleep for 12 hours at night and give you a bit of a rest. Best way to do that is to take them outside in the fresh air, lots of walking, lots of parks etc. The bus ride to school can be turned into fun, kids love buses and trains etc. Maybe you coulde walk part of the way home. The snows not that bad, the Swiss seem to cope reasonably well. Try keeping them entertained at home by doing stuff you don't usually do with them, like painting, making things a la mr maker on cbeebies, baking, kids love baking, playing games, singing nursery rhymes, doing numbers and letters, kids love learning. Look on it as eight days of special time between you and your two gorgeous, loveley, adorable kids.

And just think of the repsite you'll get at being able to hand them over when your man walks through the door. And the presents he'll bring you back from South America. You are really lucky, really

Having said all that, he's probably back already. Blast. Oh well, maybe you'll find it useful next time.

Do keep us posted on how you got on and what you did, we'd be interested to know how it all turned out...

Not to muffin, but to the post I quoted.

Thank you - That is refreshing. I'm not sure who I would rather avoid more at the playground... the under-confident, inept, nervous-wreck mothers or the over-confident, know-it-all, judgemental mothers. Neither are very fun to be around.