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| There was a time when I believed in true POLLYANNA fashion, that I would live with one mate forever, happily behind the picket fence, beautiful cottage, garden, two labradors running and playing, and perfectly happy, smiling days......and then my gut told me I was being cheated on. The signs were there, like a big sleazy neon Vegas-style flashing sign, big as life, "OPEN YOUR EYES, D**BA*S, YOU'RE BEING CHUMPED!" I chose to ignore/deny it for as long as I could, but then I found out. I was so angry, I fled the house to run and sweat. The skies grew black with dark clouds, thunder boomed all around, lightening flashed all about, and it started to pour rain. I didn't care.....I just kept on running. And then it happened. I came across another runner, soaking wet just as myself, and we started laughing at how ridiculous we both were for running in a bad storm. We found temporary shelter in a dark, open garage. We stood there soaking wet, and our laughs ceased. Breathing heavily, we stared at one another in our soaked clothing, and within seconds, it started. We had the hottest, most passionate sex I'd ever had. No names were exchanged, no promises, no lies told to one another, no excuses, and no forced conversation. We parted as the storm began to ease up, and as I ran in the light rain, I knew then why people cheated, even the one I loved with all of my life. "I sold the cottage, loaded the labradors into my truck, and consigned the pollyanna dreams to the history books." While I still long for that perfect love, I realize the labradors understand it better than we do. They have unconditional love. No matter what happens, I love you, and I'll always welcome you with a happy wag of the tail and all the kisses you can handle, even on your worst of days. Ahhhhh.....love. | |
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Alyssa ran, as she ran the tears mingle with sweat and rain, she licked them away as they dropped form the tendrils of hair that bounced on her forehead. Pain wracked her body, the cool air burnt the lump in her throat, but she wanted the pain, she wanted to feel, to feel was to be alive. So this is how it felt to be cheated on by someone who thought that they could cheat life itself. The pain would increase, so would his, but that was no consellation. How could he do it?- To believe that he would remain impenetrable while penetrating others and then to give this gift, the gift of death to her, when she craved the gift of life. All hopes of bearing life were gone, it would be enough now to bear her own. She heard running steps behind, she looked, a conditioned response to check for an attacker, strange ow things change, the harbinger of death was in her own bed all the time. Unexpectedly she is was greeted by a smile. Briefly she felt normal, they laughed, "We must be crazy running in this," the stranger said. They made a pact to run together and beat the Gods. Unable to see, through the lashing rain he jumped spontaneously into a shelter, she dived in behind. How what happened next is without explanation, but it was desperate and passionate and quenching and exhausting. After, the sun emerged and with it steam rose from the pavement, the sign for them to part. Each turned homeward, like ships to their respective harbours. Now I guess I understand, she thought, how reckless abandonment can lead to a lifetiime of HIV.
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