I'd definitely watch that episode.

This sort of stuff happens all over, if you get a nutty parent. When my son was in 4th grade, the principal of the school called me and told me that my son was "bullying". I spoke to my son who told me the kid was calling him names. I found out that the kid went home crying to his mother who called and told the principal that my son was "attacking Evan".

My son swore he never touched the kid. I saw the mother and asked her what was up, why she went to the principal and didn't call me directly. I said, "You told the principal that my son attacked Evan and my guy claims he never touched him". She said, he didn't hit Evan, he "attacked him emotionally". It turned out that my son called her son "a baby".

Sad that this is what we have come to.

No, I think the obtuseness rests on your side. As a direct consequence of his own incorrect actions, he alledges he got his coat ripped. And there's no refusal to contact the parents.

Funnily enough, I've a temporal worm-hole in my internet connection, and wikipedia from 2013 says she... "was a reactionary bit*h and was the first to be put up against a wall when the revolution came".

Now I'm not a parent yet but I find the OP has shown alot of tolerance.

Just so I know for the future would it be bad parenting if I told the brat that thats what he gets for attacking my son without provocation and if he does it again I'd be pressing charges, going to a doctor and shrink to make sure there's no damage and I'll leave them to talk with their insurance about who pays it and I'd be telling my kid if he takes a whack at him again he should take a swipe at his legs. Tripping a full speed should do more damage than getting pulled on a hood

They just don't make mums like in the old days.

you'll never be the man you'r great, great, great grand mother was ....

If assault/battery occurred first then the answer is NO! Unless they can "prove it."

DO NOTHING. SAY NOTHING. ADMIT NOTHING.

The child is a bully and the parent is a sociopath. No parent that is SANE makes their child do this S41t!

Don't even take their calls anymore.
By doing so you are making them feel as if they are in the right, when they are not.

Brian.

Excellent advice. THen the OP should do nothing until the children sort it out themselves.

Of course, I would not even talk to anyone until a police report for assault or battery (whatever you call it in this country) was filed as this is a learning experience.

As you say 13/14 year olds are responsible. Then the assaulting child can do jail time for GBH and the jacket damaging child can pay for the jacket. That sounds fair to me. That is what you are saying, Right?

Sounds to me like you are trying to justify a cultural bias. I have noticed that parents in this country pretend to "teach their children to be responsible," but it looks more to me like parents don't want to be responsible for their children's behaviour. I am not Swiss, and I tend to call a spade a spade. You know, if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then...

And they say Americans don't want to be responsible for their actions. Sheesh!

Well, GBH is overstating the case, but generally I agree. I believe the scale goes:

Assault, Actual Bodily Harm, Grevious Bodily Harm. ABH if when you hit someone and leave a mark. GBH is when you leave a permanent mark.

Thanks,
I never really knew what the English meant by GBH, it just sounded bad.
That sounds like a simple and precise definition.

Brian.

I intentionally DO NOT send my daughter to school wearing expensive clothing. Kid's will be Kid's. They tear stuff up. If it is an issue of responsibility. Then the other kids parents should have thought about sending a 13 y/o kid to school in a 400 chf jacket. And if it was really an issue the Mother would have spoken to you on the phone. I say just ignore them.

With respect to the "nice mum" comment - maybe in some families the parents don't stick up for their own kid - maybe thats what the boy was expecting/hoping - that you be angry with your child and not stick up for him.

(good idea re: wine or whatever your brew of choice )

A few month after we came here in 2007 my son was playing with the kids outside and one of the kids (girl) broke her glasses as she jumped to try and catch the ball my son had thrown up. That night she knocked on our door and said to him to pay for the glasses. We had the same immidiate reaction as the OP.

I then thought this will be a great learing experiance for my son (8 years old then). I asked him to decide what to do. he decided to write a note to her offering to pay 50% but making a point that it was not his fault. I agreed and now three years after both my kids and this girl and her brother are best of friends.

There is always two sides to a story. Parents should stay out of these situations (unless it becomes ugly).

Remember we are raising future adults....

and Everyone, Yes Everyone is a good person they just need to be allowed to express their goodness

Yeah I don't think so either because there's no way I would ever buy my kid a $400 jacket to run around and play in or even LOSE while out somewhere. No way.

Maybe that will be the end of it when he sees he can't get any money out of you and that will will not fall for thier stunt. If he was asking for like $20 or something I would be more likely to believe him and maybe even give it to him just to end it all, but $400 makes him lose all credibility. No way!

LOL! Yeah I love Judge Judy! She is the best! Hhahaha! Yeah this kid would not have a chance in her court room!

Just two major differences. One, they weren't playing together, in this occasion the aggrieved "victim" who's clothes alledgedly were torn, had launched an unprovoked attack on the OP's boy. And two, they weren't playing together, in this occasion the aggrieved "victim" who's clothes alledgedly were torn, had launched an unprovoked attack on the OP's boy.

Now, an astute observer might think that's just one difference. But it seemed to me such a biggy, that it was worth mentioning twice.

For goodness sake, please try and keep up at the back!

Gee...
Two teenagers had a little..err.. encounter. One of them makes some calls. He is speaking to an ADULT. The adult freaks out...
Really, on which Planet did you all live? I seem not to have lived on the same planet...
Sorry, I can't feel any symphathy for the O.P. I really try, but I can't.

Perhaps I shouldn't posted it, but there it is. Out loud.
....
O.P., please accept my apology..

Enough is enough! send me $800.- and i Will take care of it ;-)

Thanks, Cannut
What I would do: I would tell the(swindler) kid that he is not getting the 400 francs for the "damaged" jacket. HE provoked the accident, not my son. He should have known by now, that an action has a reaction. Always.

In my opinion, it is the different culture issue here. I am not talking about the actual instance but the OP refuses to talk to the boy/call them back and the boy's mother refuses to talk to the OP. We are in Switzerland, so I think we should adapt to their custom how to handling things here. If the other family wants their son to resolve his own problem, the OP should respect that. It is not that his parents are completely leaving the issue on their son's hand, his mom is in the background guiding him. I know there are a lot of Swiss customs/ mantalities that we don't agree with; but we are living in their country, we should try to understand that and try to do/resolve things their ways.
The other boy started the fight but the OP's son was not completely innocence here. He did "fight" back; he chased after the other boy and pulled his jacket instead of going to the authority. Both parties should take the consequence, the problem should already been compromise from the beginning rather than making a big deal out of it. Children teases/provoke each other everyday(as long as no major harm done), it shouldn't make a big fuss. It doesn't matter who needs to call who, who deals with whom… just get it over with. There are more important stuffs you need to worry about in life or your children life.

LOL! But true. It's the amount he's asking for that makes him look and sound like a swindler. LOL! That added to the fact that he was the one that threw the punch that got him chased in the first place!

Yup, I do agree with that, and normally that's the way I would see it too, if he wasn't asking for $400. That's the messed up part right there. But yeah you make a good point. I just would not give him or his parents $400 for the jacket without proof like a reciet or something. But yeah we should adapt to swiss customs I agree with that part. If he asked for a reasonable amount of money I might just go ahead and pay to get it over with and tell him if it happens again from him hitting my son he's on his own and will not get any more money. Something like that. But $400? No, no way, not without proof.