thanks for the information
while in theory i agree with what you are saying
in my case there was abuse, and the swiss police did nothing,
in the states he would have been put in prison, here he was released within an hour
having said that, with all due respect, sometimes it happens people grow in different directions, i definitely think people should be able to work out their differences but unfortunately very destructive ways of behaving evolve, and i can imagine not always defined as abuse but just as destructive,
too many people stay together in bad destructive situations
as for marriage being a haven for children, it is not always the case at all..
i think divorced women have a very bad reputation and it is true that divorced men have it way easier than before,
my ex found a girlfriend, a single mom, who obviously has no clue or else does not care, i dont know which is worse..that he has a history of domestic violence,, in any case he has the children very little (fortunately but difficult for me as i am on my own)
i dont know about other single moms but i am very very careful and would never introduce anyone to my kids without intensive screening and to quote shelly winters
"before you marry a man, have lunch with his ex wife"
I am not sure i believe in marriage at all anymore,perhaps what a lot of swiss couples do, live together , have kids THEN marry,is wiser but i suspect it is to the advantage of the man..
I have not found a divorce lawyer yet but have been given the advice not to drag it too long
i suspect when and if i get divorce i will lose money , and i dont see how at my age, mid 40's i can earn enough and cover child care, i dont know if there is anyone i can have walk the dogs, clean the house, cook ,shop and take the kids to their activities and do homework, i must have forgotten something on the way..
being a single parent is draining, i do wish people would sympathize rather than criticize or be afraid of us,
having said that it is a heck of a lot better than to be in a marriage where you are punching bag of your spouse physically or emotionally..
even if you just fight or just dont communicate kids suffer too..
it is far better to be alone and well
for all involved.
i am not sure if it is true that most marriages break up because of an affair , i think the affair is the result of a bad marriage for all sorts of reason, perhaps marriage is just not for everyone..
some people need more space, etc.
as i write my child is singing , playing,
if my ex would still be here, he would be hiding..
and abuse by the way is suffered by 30% of women according to the UN
in switzerland as the paper sometimes shows it is not a rare event for domestic violence to occur, sometimes after separation or divorce..
just to express my opinion..divorce is not necessarly bad, but marriages are not necessarly the best places to raise children , it all depends ..
I would like to hear from either men or women who divorced in switzerland , if you care to share , thanks !