My husband is clucky and has been for some time. We've been together for over 4 years and married for almost 1. We'd discussed falling pregnant in about a year as this would give us time to settle down in Switzerland and for my husband to be in a good settled place with his career.

But we're now unsettled again. His employers want us to move to the USA and are gently apply pressure to relocate there sometime in the future. Starting with a three month 'just see how you like it/ pressing the flesh tour'.

We have no idea where we are going to end up as my husbands job could take us anywhere and our preconceived notions of building 'our house', settling down, learning another language and raising children in one place seem to eroding.

I'm beginning to think that we're never going to be 'settled enough' to feel ready. I'm about 7 years younger than my husband and I've about 5 good years ahead of me before the doctors say I'm passing my prime so I'm not in a huge hurry.

So my question isn't what do you think I should do?

But rather 'when did you decide you were ready'?

Word of advice, saying you are going to start a family does not always result in it happening the following month

Not sure how old you are but at 31 i didn't think I was old, it's nothing to do with age if you have complications but time ticking on can then affect things

Go for it when you want to not when you feel you should

You can always find a reason to postpone anything. Just go ahead and do it. There are too many might-bes ought there. Deal with them as they come.

My wife decided for me then announced it as a fait acompli

I was 28 and it was unplanned but the best thing that could have happened. Don't leave it too long

I agree with the others - there is never a perfect time to start a family - there can always be things coming up to get in the way. If you're always waiting for the right time then it may not happen.

I also second the "it might not happen right away" comment. For me I just assumed it would happen - and so many things we didn't do because I thought I might be pregnant that month (like I put off a really important trip to the US for work because there was a chance I might have been pregnant and then of course I wasn't.) It took me 7 months to fall pregnant - and then of course another 9 months to get a baby - so that's well over a year between deciding to go for it and it actually occurring. Friends of ours tried for 18 months before getting pregnant (without having any actual medical issues).

If you want to have a family then I would say do not wait, just go for it everything else can be sorted out around any pregnancy / baby.

6/7 months is actually quite an average time

I have waited impatiently and patiently at times for 5 years

We never decided we were ready. If we had of left it to that decision we still would not have kids. There is never a time when you will be totally ready. We just stopped analyzing the decision and stopped trying to not have a family. Once that happened everything worked out great. In my opinion, moving around with kids is really not so bad. Not easy ( what is) But not bad at all.

I was ready as soon as I met my husband at 31. I knew we were ready straight away because we did not have to ask ourselves questions about it or make excuses.... I had had the single life I wanted, experienced stuff before and traveled a lot... so I knew that I reached a point in my life where I would never have to blame my kids for not having done what I wanted to before... My husband felt the same.

how Nicky, says, you might be lucky and conceive straight away. Our first was conceived on our first try but the second came 14th months later and when you 're 36 it can seem a life time! And of course, I was lucky not to miscarry like many of my friends and own sister!

So if you're husband and I are ready, don't ask yourselves so many questions, don't try making excuses , just go for it. Being unsettled is ok as long as you're a strong couple, it does not matter where your will live. I was pregnant in asia, moved to Germany when I was 7 months pregnant and gave birth there. 15 months later we were off to China where my second daughter was born.. When she was 10 months old , a year ago, we moved to Swizterland but we're already having edgy feet ! We don;t own a property and don't even know where we will retire ! but we have a stable and happy family..

Good luck!

I am lost in the maths here

you conceived straight away at 31 and 14 months later number 2 came? yet at 36 it can seem a life time?

I'm lost

I'm almost 30 and I am a little worried about complications as my sister has not had easy births for either of her children. She did fall pregnant almost without trying . Thats not to say it will be as easy for me though.

Really trying to avoid this! It would be my husband attempting 'accidents' though... he's much more eager than I am

At least an accident would take all of the stress out of the decision

THere was a programme on TV a couple of nights ago with a pregnant woman called Cherry who went around Britain talking to all shapes and sizes and ages or pregnant women. One of the conclusions was, biologically the optimal time to fall pregnant is at 15, economically and socially at 50 - so the challenge was finding the happy medium. They also found that older women (not old, just latter spectrum) found it harder to give up or alter their lifestyles (money, gym, clothes, lunches etc) whereas younger mothers never had any of these things in the first place so there was nothing to miss. They didn't draw any conclusions about an optimal age - again they said it's just about what works for you, being aware of the economic risks of being pregnant to early, and the biological risks of being pregnant too late.

That about sums it up.

It is only in the past 30 or 40 years that people can "choose" (or even have some say in the matter) to get pregnant or not.

Like most life changing decisions, if you think about it too much, you can think of all the reasons why *not* to, and it never happens..

Classic job interview question:
Where do you want to be in 5 years, 10 years...

sorry, i'm writing things as fast as things happened I met my husband at 31, then we really quickly decided to make a baby . she arrived when I was 32... then when I was 36, we finally managed to conceive baby 2 ( it had taken us 14 months to succeed that one)

This is one of my biggest fears... i'm really afraid of being pregnant and having to move it seems like it would add unbelievable amounts of stress to an already stressful situation?

Complications during your pregnancy can occur in any age group

Complications getting pregnant then subsequent treatment and time ticking along whilst exploring subsequent treatments, recovery etc.... isn't so good when time ticks along

Hmm sorry speaking in riddles, but you can get the jist, it wasn't a walk in the park for me and i wish i knew then what i know now

I quit my jb to follow hubby here. I knew I would have plenty of time to kill so I said why not starting now to practice?

I thought we wil have time, it takes an average of 7 months. We will move here and I will enjoy a bit, fall pregnant and voilà.

First try first goal! I came here already pregnant.

I was 30.

If you have around this age, it is good to begin now if you do want kids. Because when the first one will be born and if you want a second one, time will have passed.

Some of my friends are now in their late 30s with a toddler and they don't know if they will be able to have an other one. To avoid the stress, don't wait to long.

If it can help, we are going to move soon. When? where? how? I don't know. But I know that I don't even know where I am going to give birth of my second! We'll managed.

Wow! You've summed it up completely

Now I just feel selfish

hence having a hot 16 year old marry a rich 40 something...

on the one hand, i feel pretty ready to settle down now and become a grown-up. on the other hand, it would be quite fun to doss around for another year.

i feel a bit guilty about it. and my parents are now nagging me for grandchildren...

Assuming both want kids, I think the starting point is deciding on priorities:
Career comes first - kids etc later/if/accept moving hassle
or
Home/house/Family/Kids etc come first - career takes 2nd place.

Neither is right or wrong - and in my case changed dramatically in a short time.

BTW saw the programme economisto mentioned: http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode...ry_Has_a_Baby/