So yesterday, there i was on the floor trying to get the flipping DVD machine to work.. didn't help when I couldn't find the remote and then realized the input connector thingy was missing too..

my son in complete exasperation, threw his hands in the air and said:

"Let's ring Daddy, he has a better brain"

Ouch! How old is he?

Aisha had been playing with the dinosaurs most of the morning, at one stage she crept up behind me and making loud roaring noises jumped in front of me and jabbed the biggest dinosaur we have, back and forth in my direction.

Entering the spirit of things, I did a good shrinking back and made a scared face accompanied by what I hoped were convincing eeks. She quickly dropped the dinosaur took my hand and said in a concerned but matter of fact tone, "Lynn, you don't need to be scared, dinosaurs are just skeletons and can't do you any harm!

Sweet baby logic, the best perk of my job.

Cut myself this morning while cleaning some stuff. Daughter saw it and with a concerned face asked me if I had pain:

-No, Honey! I am fine.
-That's ok mama, that's ok! And she put a kiss on my cut.

7 and a quarter going on 70


Mid-term-break coming up Monday week, so this morning my kids and I were organizing things to do. We decided that one afternoon is to be spent in the bowling alley with my son and two of his friends. As we have to sort out the pick-ups of his friends prior to bowling, my son decides, in order to find out the best route (so he can tell me), to live google earth the way with the cursor from our house to his friends..

and the running commentary for my benefit went something like this:

"First go north..
West, down this road, see?
Passed thomas's house..
Was bright out but now it's all dull..
I think this is a roundabout..
Super duper, know my way now..
look there's the road to Ellen's house..
oooh a BMW X5, no it's a..
oh no, got some bad news this road is one way..

not quite ready for the Sat Nav job voice over.."

another month or two should do it..

Manchester United have lost 6-1 (I can barely write those words) to Manchester city.

I am NOT in a good mood. I am sounding off to 2 visitors for the evening meal when 8-year old pipes up

"Don't worry Daddy, it's just a game"

I loved him for that comment

But the pain still goes on, as evidenced by a burst of e-mails this morning from blue friends in Manchester who I hadn't heard from for ages...

"Mooom, look how tall I am!!!!!" said my little one last night, standing on the weight scale.

My student to me:

Him: Mrs X, Bach rhymes with f***
Me: (WTF! WTF!) Dont use that word!
Him: Why?
Me: Because its not good.
Him: I hear it all the time!!!
Me: From whom? You are only 8!!!
Him: Er...not telling you.
Me: I am going to speak to your mum.
Him: no no no!!!! ok ok, Bach rhymes with....fart. Better?
Me: No!!!!
Him: You are very hard to please.
Me: (and you're a little shit!!!) I am just not pleased that you are using that word. Dont do it again. Carry on please...
Him: fart fart fart!

Thinking aloud putting the kids down, I say

"mmm..that's strange...Manchester Grandma never called back. I had to leave a message"

Ever helpful 8-year old:

"mmm....I guess she might be dead. Is she dead or alive Daddy?"

!!

We've been having trouble with our Internet dropping out and disconnecting for no reason. Tonight we came home to the same issue.

To fix it we simply have to turn everything off and reset the system.

2yr old happily watching her cartoons when all of a sudden the tv freezes as it works from the Internet connection.

Her: oh no mummy! What s'matter?
Me: it's ok darling Mummy is fixing it
Her: no mummy! (said in exasperated tone), Bob the builder, can he fix it? Yes he can!
Me: er, ok darling
Her: (standing right up to the telly and shouting at the top of her voice) Bob the builder? Where are you? (long pause).....mummy when is J (my other half) home?
Me: soon
Her: J the builder can he fix it! Mummy can't do it.


(incidentally I did fix it despite lack of belief from the mini one)

I don't like you mommy, no really, I'm serious. I LOVE YOU! )

Mommy, when I grow up, can I do the things you do (with me) with my daughter?

Two of the kids mums have recently had a new baby, and one came along to school for the first time with mum and siss. So there we are, all cooing over the tiny bundle asking all sorts of questions when little Lenny saunters over.

He looks at the baby, looks at us as if we're not quite normal and say's quite matter of fact, "I've got one of those too". Off he went.

Must say it sounded much funnier in Swiss German. "Ich han au so einer".

Is this a very sentimental morning to me or what? i have water in my eyes and dont want my boys to grow.

Off to spend the morning with them

Driving home after a swimming lesson with my 6-year old. Tractor waiting to come onto the road from a farm track (no danger)...

Him: "Darling! Watch out for that tractor!"



Son, you're my son, not my wife...

This morning on the bus, my two year old leaned her head against her father.

Papi: What's wrong? Are you tired?
DD: *sigh* Yes.
Papi: Why?
DD: Because I have a long day.

Listening to the radio during breakfast this morning when the presenter started to talk about Jeremy Clarkson and the court injunction he tried to get to stop ex-wife talking about an affair..

My son: Why are they talking about Jeremy Clarkson? What is he (presenter) saying?

Me: (caught unawares) erm... ah.. it's nothing..

Him: Are you sure? What's court?

Me: He is talking about adult stuff, very silly and not important

My son: (assertively) Yes! Only Top Gear and Jeremy's cars are important.

Thought for the day, eh?

We're currently teaching the little one different animals and the noises they make.

On the walk home from daycare....

Me: what noise does a cat make?
Her: miaow
Me: what noise does a dog make?
Her: woof! Woof!
Me: what noise does a sheep make?
Her: baaaaa!
Me: what noise does a chicken make?
Her: (singing) chick chick chick chick chicken, lay a little egg for me!!

Our breakfast gem;

We are sitting at the table having breakfast and we are asking questions to our 3 years ols daughter.

Daddy: What is this part of the animal?
Daughter: TAIL!
Daddy: Bravo! Who else has a tail?
Daughter: Daddy!
Daddy: Uh? No honey, Daddy doesn't have a tail.
Daughter: Yes Daddy has a tail when naked!


I choked on my bread!

My son had a haircut about a week ago and was very proud of his suave new look. Today he was in a lift with a large mirror and I caught him examining himself critically in it. He turned to me and said, "Do I still have a haircut on, Daddy?"