In a fight to get dressed to go to work and kinderkrippe.
'No. I don't want to'
'We all have to do things we don't want in life'
'You make me sad'
'How did I make you sad'
'See, my face is sad now' (exaggerated sad face)
(smothering a laugh) 'I'm sorry hun, but we have to get dressed and go'
'NO! DON'T LOOK AT ME. I HAVE A SAD FACE' I NOT WANT TO SEE YOUR HAPPY FACE'

I was looking after some young friends of mine this week, who are 8 and 10. We were using fimo, and I was making flowers to turn into a bracelet. This created an amusing discussion on economics.

Child 1: What will you do with the bracelet when it's finished?
Me: I'll try and sell it.
Child 1: How much will it cost?
Me: About 50chf.
Child 1: 50chf?!?
Me: (Worrying I sounded greedy) Well, the bracelet will take me at least 3 hours to make, and I base my prices on charging 14chf per hour plus materials. So that's about 50chf.
Child 2: Why do you charge 14 chf an hour?
Me: Well that's what I was told to charge. You have to think about earning money from what you do.
Child 2: What's earning a living?
Child 1: It's what grown ups do...

My three year old daughter was talking on her play phone last night...

Hello? Where are you?

*pause*

OH! In the middle of nowhere! Great!

5-year old

"I'm going to be a Soldier when I grow up!"
"Oh good, errm, but which country will you be a Soldier for?"
"Switzerland!!"
"You know you've not got a Passport for Switzerland?"
"OK, Germany then" !!!

My son and a friend, 5.5 and almost 6 years old.

Friend: singing "Money, money, money, makes you funny in a witch man's world".
Son: "It is not 'witch' it is 'rich' "
Friend: "What does rich mean?"
Son: "I think it's when something you eat is too tasty."

I haven't got a cute thing to tell at the moment but I have to say "out of the mouth of babes". In my job I hear grownups talking so often, especially during role play. Maybe we should sign a contract never to repeat what the little ones say.

And vice versa, as per my most recent example.

The things they repeat, are really mortifying sometimes.

An early morning, pre-Christmas, I showered and dressed so as to take advantage of the early shopping opening hours leaving my OH and kids in bed.

I walked out into the hall ready to grab my coat and car keys when my 3 year old spotted me.

"Oh Mama! You're up and got dressed, all by yourself. Good girl!"

Little boy sneezes (4 years old)

Me: Bless you.

Him: Bless you? I need a bless you machine!

Me: What? a bless you machine? why?

Him: Because every day, all day everyone sneezes and I have to say Bless you!!!

In the bathtub with my kids.

Son looks at me critically, and then said: "Mommy, your right boob is bigger than the other one you know?".

Tears. Terrible tears. 8-year old has accidentally broken the team Football trophy he's supposed to give back tomorrow to another Team member.

Caught him Googling:

"wo kanman eine bokal kaufen in schweiz eine kids tunir zürich kleine bokal fussball"

I don't know whether to laugh or cry...

Get him to post it on here. I'm sure someone could help out.

My 3 years old has a little baby doll which has brown skin. She came to me this morning showing the Doll's skin.

-mama, baby is chocolat!

She is my little caramel.

HTH

When my son was 4 I had a bit of a health scare, when I came home from Hospital the little fella said he was going to tell me he loved me every day, I promised to do the same in return.

He is now 17, and despite being a typical teenager he has kept that promise just about every day since (though not so much in public these days!!)

Watching Tom and Jerry, little Mud says,"Daad, why did Tom put mayonnaise on his face?!".

Which had me scratching my head, then jolted on two levels. I'm old, since I remember it being totally normal for people at the beach to smear zinc oxide on their faces, and she's growing up with the horrible notion that mayonnaise and mustard come in toothpaste tubes. And that's as weird as the freaky square backpacks here .

At the dinner table last night, 6 year old suddenly pipes up "why are we having the caterpillars again?".

"Huh, what are you talking about?" I ask.

"We had the caterpillars for breakfast and now again at dinner."

I'm still confused.

"The music! The Caterpillars!" she looks at me exasperated.

"Oh, you mean The Beatles."

30 minutes into assembling the worlds most frustrating plastic car track with smoke coming out my ears
5yo pipes up "Come on Dad, I want to play with it"
Me "Its not that easy"
5yo "well its not rocket science!!"

So my 8 year old says she "needs" a handy..
she made herself a block of wood, cut out a small apple with a bite taken out of it, and glued it to the back.

I say- you're too young to have a handy.

My 6 year old says- "yeah, you have to be at least 10 "

???????

I must be very old fashioned to think that you can have a telephone when you can afford to pay your own phone bill....

My 3 year old wanted her bed time snack of rice pudding and kept asking my OH who had, on the way to the kitchen to get her some, become distracted by something or other.. finally the poor thing had enough, burst into tears and blurted out, mid wail:

"I want my hungry rice!"