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Old 20.07.2015, 08:51
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Just another day on EF

A brief guide to your standard EF user (noting these are only the threads they start)

Thread #1 Hello - New here. "I have just arrived here from the arse end of nowhere where I was earning 20k USD picking the crispy bits out of the deep fat fryer in the local Wendys and will be earning 100k as a junior shuffling paper in a bank."

Thread #2 Why is everything is so expensive here?

Thread #3 Why can't Switzerland be more like where I came from?

Thread #n-1 Woohoo I'm leaving. "After 2 years of living in this sterile, over-priced hell-hole I'm finally going back to the country I love. You can stick your melted cheese where the sun doesn't shine"

Thread #n Car for sale, 9,000CHF. "1995 Renault Laguna 1.8, failed MFK last week but it only needs a new gearbox and main seal so cheap fix. Other than that, hardly looks like it has driven 270k."

Repeat ad nauseaum
OR

(3 years later)
Thread #n+1 Hi again. "I lived in Switzerland 3 years ago but had to move back to care for my former next door neighbour's 3rd cousin's ferret. I really miss Switzerland - the beautiful countryside, the efficient transport system, the time given over to families instead of shopping. I am non-EU, how do I find another job?"
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Last edited by dodgyken; 20.07.2015 at 20:44.
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  #2  
Old 20.07.2015, 08:54
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Re: Just another day on EF

It does seem like this sometimes, doesn´t it?

Not forgetting, I do not speak any Swiss language and have no skills/education but want to work here, how can I get a job.

But then, I have learned a lot here as there are a lot of helpful people here!

Last edited by roegner; 20.07.2015 at 08:58. Reason: Adding
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Old 20.07.2015, 09:05
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Re: Just another day on EF

Thread #n+...(ad nauseam):

I've been living in Switzerland for 300 years and and see it as my duty to treat newbies on EF as scum making my beloved Switzerland untidy. I will therefore troll every post that makes even the slightest criticism and tell them to go back to where they came from if they don't like it.

I'm so Swisser than the Swiss that proper born-and-bred Swiss find me embarrassing.

HTH.
Nick
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Old 20.07.2015, 11:58
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Re: Just another day on EF

I am often impressed that the Forum Legends have so much patience with the same old job hunting, permit & endless language comments, not to mention the au pair/nanny online enquiry service & dog carer advice.
I'm afraid my patience is not quite up to answering such things but I do enjoy reading the rants.
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Old 20.07.2015, 12:08
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Re: Just another day on EF

You have a "formal" next door neighbour? Is this some British thing I've never heard of? Personally all my next door neighbours are casuals.

My attitude is that we were all newbies at some point so why not be patient with those who are now? I must say that I only belong to 3/4 forums and all of them are full of people willing to help and advise in their areas of expertise. This doesn't seem to be the case from what others have said about many other forums so I'm glad to found the ones I belong to.
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Old 20.07.2015, 17:16
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Re: Just another day on EF

Quote:
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A brief guide to your standard EF user (noting these are only the threads they start)


Thread #n Car for sale, 9,000CHF. "1995 Renault Laguna 1.8, failed MFK last week but it only needs a new gearbox and mail seal so cheap fix. Other than that, hardly looks like it has driven 270k."

#n2

You forgot there's 4.5 years left on my car lease and I've driven 100k in 6 months and drove it like its stolen on an agreed 12k per year over 5 years, you can buy me out for 50k chf
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Old 20.07.2015, 17:18
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Re: Just another day on EF

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But then, I have learned a lot here as there are a lot of helpful people here!
Never trust helpful people. They're probably baiting you to make fun of you even more.

Trust cynical barstewards like mself. At least you know what you're getting.
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Old 20.07.2015, 17:26
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Re: Just another day on EF

Quote:
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A brief guide to your standard EF user (noting these are only the threads they start)

Thread #1 Hello - New here. "I have just arrived here from the arse end of nowhere where I was earning 20k USD picking the crispy bits out of the deep fat fryer in the local Wendys and will be earning 100k as a junior shuffling paper in a bank."

Thread #2 Why is everything is so expensive here?

Thread #3 Why can't Switzerland be more like where I came from?

Thread #n-1 Woohoo I'm leaving. "After 2 years of living in this sterile, over-priced hell-hole I'm finally going back to the country I love. You can stick your melted cheese where the sun doesn't shine"

Thread #n Car for sale, 9,000CHF. "1995 Renault Laguna 1.8, failed MFK last week but it only needs a new gearbox and mail seal so cheap fix. Other than that, hardly looks like it has driven 270k."

Repeat ad nauseaum
OR

(3 years later)
Thread #n+1 Hi again. "I lived in Switzerland 3 years ago but had to move back to care for my formal next door neighbour's 3rd cousin's ferret. I really miss Switzerland - the beautiful countryside, the efficient transport system, the time given over to families instead of shopping. I am non-EU, how do I find another job?"
"The grass always looks greener from the other side!". True, Switzerland does have its frustrations like everywhere, but lest not forget it was voted "The best place to live in the world!!".
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Old 20.07.2015, 17:26
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Re: Just another day on EF

Once upon a time, there was a threat titled "Free Beer"...




There's nothing new in the world. It's just easier to wash your dishes.
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Old 20.07.2015, 17:29
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Re: Just another day on EF

#n3

I could tell by the way that the waitress put down my coffee cup that she was a racist. And the fact that none of the other customers batted an eyelid proves that casual racism is rampant here in Switzerland.

Can't wait to leave
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Old 20.07.2015, 17:36
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Re: Just another day on EF

#n,

A ticket inspector came on the bus and fined me for not having a ticket. I'm sure nobody else had a ticket as I didn't see anybody buy one. What a fascist country.
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Old 20.07.2015, 17:43
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Re: Just another day on EF

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What a fascist country.
And the trains run on time, Mussolini would have loved this place
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Old 20.07.2015, 17:59
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Re: Just another day on EF

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"The grass always looks greener from the other side!". True, Switzerland does have its frustrations like everywhere, but lest not forget it was voted "The best place to live in the world!!".
You do realise, don't you, that only fourth generation Swiss were permitted to vote?
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Old 20.07.2015, 18:15
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Re: Just another day on EF

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You do realise, don't you, that only fourth generation Swiss were permitted to vote?
I didn't know that. Good the native Swiss still love their own country that much even with the influx of all the foreigners (like me!)
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Old 20.07.2015, 18:20
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Re: Just another day on EF

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You do realise, don't you, that only fourth generation Swiss were permitted to vote?
Actually, only the Swiss who can trace their ancestry directly to the pre-Roman Helvetii are permitted to vote.
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Old 20.07.2015, 18:39
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Re: Just another day on EF

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Actually, only the Swiss who can trace their ancestry directly to the pre-Roman Helvetii are permitted to vote.
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Old 20.07.2015, 18:41
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Re: Just another day on EF

Also forgotten:

Thread #n I left Switzerland without paying my phone/cable TV/rent/all sorts of other outstanding bills. Will I ever be able to come back? Not that I want to.

Thread #nn I've done something really dumb that a four year old wouldn't even do. How can I get out of this situation - by the way I'll groan everyone who answers...
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Old 20.07.2015, 18:41
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Re: Just another day on EF

Note how forum legend "dodgyken" removed all avatar references to his clearly racist love of the "Dukes of Hazard" TV show. His overt love of the Confederate flag, kindergarten dialog and large breasted women should accordingly be treated with hesitation by the readers.
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Old 20.07.2015, 19:07
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Re: Just another day on EF

My child is bleeding profusely and drifting in and out of conciousness. Does anyone have any suggestions?
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Old 20.07.2015, 20:35
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Re: Just another day on EF

Five years ago, I danced with a Swiss guy in a club in Zurich. His name was Nicolas. We made a connection and I would like to find him again. Does anyone know where he lives?
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