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Old 03.04.2011, 22:29
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Teenagers

Do you have one of those at home?

Gosh! How do you handle those species? Always moaning, never happy, bitching around, never satisfied and so much cooler than anyone else... (Sounds like some folks in here... )

Anyway, we have some of them in our family and between 15 and 19, you want to hang them on the wall or send them into a boarding school.

The girls are always on their phone, text messaging or on their computer, Twitting or Facebooking. If they don't have access to their social network, they sit next to you with the most boring face they are capable to pull out. They hang out in their bedroom, making some videos of them dancing, pictures of them with lips going out of their face with a Paris Hilton look and put them on FB, of course....

Boys are playing soccer, doing their show off in the street, doing nothing at home beside putting gel in their hair to give a Justin Bieber hairstyle kinda look and pretending they are soooooo cool!

And of course, as an adult, you don't know anything about anything. You are lame, boring and so not cool.

I have an other 12 years before my daughter reach this terrible phase and I am hoping they'll find a pill to avoid it to happen...
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Old 03.04.2011, 22:48
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Re: Teenagers

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Do you have one of those at home?
No.

I have two (actually, the elder is 20, but that didn't change anything).

Tom
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Old 03.04.2011, 22:48
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Re: Teenagers

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How do you handle those species?
Ask your parents

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Old 03.04.2011, 22:51
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Re: Teenagers

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Ask your parents



Like you said, Nil, you still have 12 more years before you have to worry about it. I'm sure you'll think of something....
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Old 03.04.2011, 22:54
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Re: Teenagers

yup, and he's cool.
Everything is new, everything is a discovery.
It's amazing to see life as he does.
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Old 03.04.2011, 22:56
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Re: Teenagers

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Ask your parents

I can't...

It is admitting they were right!
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Old 03.04.2011, 22:58
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Re: Teenagers

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yup, and he's cool.
Everything is new, everything is a discovery.
It's amazing to see life as he does.
Sky, Sweetheart,

You are confusing teenagers with toddlers...
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Old 03.04.2011, 22:58
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Re: Teenagers

I don't have any at home but I will in another 10 years or so and I'm dreading it
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Old 03.04.2011, 23:06
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Re: Teenagers

my 10 year old (almost 11! ) is approaching what we call pubecon and although i can't really complain, he has his moments, thankfully i think it's more about giving him the space and allowance to try out his freedom, abilities to choose things on his own and we've figured out (at least for now) that if we give him space and options, he's fine.

i think it's quite a bit like dealing with toddlers actually, or even people in general. he knows the basic rules that we all adhere to, i don't expect anything from him that i don't do myself- but he is still just approaching it.

my niece though is at that age and sends me videos of her singing and dancing to horrible music and i actually really enjoy it- it's quite cute and at least she's not shooting up heroin on the street corner- even if it is justin beiber
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Old 03.04.2011, 23:09
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Re: Teenagers

Am I alone in thinking they are great

The trick is to become one of them - remember you are there to embarrass them...

We had parties and always invited them and all their friends, kept an open house and became their friends. As we live right in the City centre I always told them that if they were stuck and could not get home to always ring the door and have a bed here.

Now they are not teenagers but when my kids were off a Uni all their friends still came round.

Go with the flow and become a teenager again....Then then think you are super-cool.
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Old 03.04.2011, 23:15
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Re: Teenagers

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Am I alone in thinking they are great

The trick is to become one of them - remember you are there to embarrass them...
Indeed.

My daughters always ask me NOT to scare their boyfriends, and to turn down my music!

Tom
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Old 03.04.2011, 23:18
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Re: Teenagers

nah, i quite like them too. i guess it's just a bit daunting to think of your own child being that age. before coming here i taught teens for a long time and i really enjoyed it. the importance of everything can be inspiring and i think it's a great time for creativity for most kids, even if they do love the biebs and other crappy music they can be really open to other things.

and i think your approach for an open house is a good one, i try to do the same now even if it means boys who have feet and clumsy movements like puppies being silly around the house. but i still feel like a teen myself sometimes so i wonder how this is all happening so quickly???
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Old 03.04.2011, 23:18
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Re: Teenagers

Nope, you're not alone.... I think they're great too.
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Old 03.04.2011, 23:19
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Re: Teenagers

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Indeed.

My daughters always ask me NOT to scare their boyfriends, and to turn down my music!

Tom
Are you welcoming them in your underwear?
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Old 03.04.2011, 23:33
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Re: Teenagers

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and risk
I have an other 12 years before my daughter reach this terrible phase and I am hoping they'll find a pill to avoid it to happen...
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Am I alone in thinking they are great

The trick is to become one of them - remember you are there to embarrass them....
Great post, smackerjack. No, you are not alone at all. I love that age group, and teaching them is fabulous, though it really is the most challenging student group to work with. But when you figure out how, it's the best, it's not complicated. You don't treat them clinically, nor constantly put your foot down, you show flexibility and willingness to communicate, you show you respect them, but laugh at them a little bit too. It is not the easiest to manage teen body, moodiness, angst. I feel sympathy but love the fact they lack sensitivity to some stuff and risk management so they come up with the most daring and most fun theories..I think I managed to win them over, really preps me for my own kid. I love that naivety, feed off the energy, no matter on the packaging and pose it comes with (music, clothes, behavior..). It's good not to be formalist and naggin' bore and share with them what nutty and out of ordinary one ever did in life.

And, people, do not kid yourself. Teen rebellion starts 10yr-12 now.

I also wouldn't rely on parent's advice, life is so different, the world kids live in now is so far from anything calm, reassuring what we had as teens. The strategies we developed to survive back then were more sturdy, me thinks. Life now is much faster, much more intense, cruel, flaky, all the internet pretense and bullying, if family isn't good, then they fall through the cracks so fast...it needs a slight adjustment on our part, certain consistency but delivered in palatable way, more sharing with them than ordering, so they can make their choices. Since, if you do not let them make choices (and they are fast to realize choices you give them might be just a little teaser, to make them only feel like they are in control), they will make their own choices. And before you know it, they are out. I could lecture about the "out" part, but it's too shocking, hahaha. I do share with teens around me, they trust me, we laugh, and they work. Hard. Coz they know I value it. I can always tell if teens have adults around them (at home, or whereever) who are open minded, who offer help and substance, rather than penalizing them for the superficial stuff, like image..I love older people's forgiving attitude in this, they are often so tolerant, while a generation under them just can't live with silly stuff teens get off by.
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Old 03.04.2011, 23:36
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Re: Teenagers

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Are you welcoming them in your underwear?
Only if they're still here in the morning!

Tom
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Old 03.04.2011, 23:37
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Re: Teenagers

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And, people, do not kid yourself. Teen rebellion starts 10yr-12 now.
Please let me....at least for a while!
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Old 03.04.2011, 23:42
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Re: Teenagers

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Please let me....at least for a while!
.... wait until your toddler fully understands the power of the word "no"
she'll be using it continously
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Old 03.04.2011, 23:45
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Re: Teenagers

mc is spot on, it sure does! but it goes right along with the overprotective thread- by then you hope you have explained enough and set the stage for them to make good choices, or at least know how to recover and get over bad choices and move on. honestly, the silly details about what they are interested in at that age is really unimportant- if it's football, beiber or vampire films. it's just really important that they are interested in something! the worst is having a teen who is uninterested and scared to make choices and take some chances, the biggest problems i have seen with teens who go at a hard road are those who are so focused on doing something wrong and not having the confidence or freedom to do things on their own or of their own choosing, that can be a scary thing.
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Old 04.04.2011, 00:02
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Re: Teenagers

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.... wait until your toddler fully understands the power of the word "no"
she'll be using it continously
Oh She does.... Looks at me with the : no no no mama, it is meeeee!

Do you want some milk? No no no noooooooo. Ok no milk for mini-me.

Nooooooooo I want milk!

Honestly, this is really close to how it is in the teenage years....
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