The Great Forum Novel

[PlantHead]

Lets get together and create a story.
(and then hopefully I can then sell it and make millions mwahahahahahahahah)

Everyone gets to write a line and we see where the story goes.

Please think what you are going to write before you hit reply, and then hit refresh to make sure you aren't going to have missed a post that may have happened whilst you were thinking what to write..
We don't want a disjointed story now do we.

Here's my first line

"In the darkest West of the Wooded east lived a little Gnome called Jeremy. He used to live in the lightest East of the Wooded West, but he found that the value of his house had risen considerably since he had purchased it so he decided to sell up and move. "

Over to you.

[StirB]

He had in fact lived in a toadstool, but found it didn't offer mushroom and he wanted to start a family.

[möpp]

His toadstool had been alright as a bachelor home, even in spite of that awful Family Grimgul living next door (setting off fireworks in the middle of the night and robbing him of his sleep, and that time when their youngest, Misgur Grimgul, wrecked his brand new shiny Tot-Pod).

[DaveA]

Jeremy had resisted the urge to name his toadstool abode "Dun Gnoming"; which just as well as the market for quality fungi homes had peaked and he felt the urge to move on.

	Quote:	möpp
	His toadstool had been alright as a bachelor home, even in spite of that awful Family Grimgul living next door (setting off fireworks in the middle of the night and robbing him of his sleep, and that time when their youngest, Misgur Grimgul, wrecked his brand new shiny Tot-Pod).

[Uncle Max]

(When is the love interest going to show up? This is boring)

[DaveA]

Indeed. If something is worth doing , its worth doing badly.

dave du Maurier

	Quote:	Uncle Max
	(When is the love interest going to show up? This is boring)

[Blonaybear]

So he liquidated his home and sold the resulting mushroom soup and went off to the big city to find a bride. Yes, he was searching for a Miss Gnomer !

[DaveA]

Oh dear... lets save time here.

dave

	Quote:	Blonaybear
	So he liquidated his home and sold the resulting mushroom soup and went off to the big city to find a bride. Yes, he was searching for a Miss Gnomer !

	Quote:	DaveA
	Indeed. If something is worth doing , its worth doing badly. dave du Maurier

Nominated for:

8. Does your novel contain a character whose sole purpose is to show up at random plot points and dispense information?

[Blonaybear]

As he approached the big city he began to hear stories of a strange creature that lived there called DaveA a.k.a. The Spoiler of Old Zurich Town whose mission in life was a search for the ultimate wisecrack.

[DaveA]

Tales of the fictional wisecracker were told by "Blonaybear" , a name whose ancient origins stem from "bare" and "balony": a term often used as a used to mean "lies" and/or to express disbelief. Shall we continue ?

dave

	Quote:	Blonaybear
	As he approached the big city he began to hear stories of a strange creature that lived there called DaveA a.k.a. The Spoiler of Old Zurich Town whose mission in life was a search for the ultimate wisecrack.

[PlantHead]

In Summary

In the darkest West of the Wooded east lived a little Gnome called Jeremy. He used to live in the lightest East of the Wooded West, but he found that the value of his house had risen considerably since he had purchased it so he decided to sell up and move. He had in fact lived in a toadstool, but found it didn't offer mushroom and he wanted to start a family.
His toadstool had been alright as a bachelor home, even in spite of that awful Family Grimgul living next door (setting off fireworks in the middle of the night and robbing him of his sleep, and that time when their youngest, Misgur Grimgul, wrecked his brand new shiny Tot-Pod). Jeremy had resisted the urge to name his toadstool abode "Dun Gnoming"; which just as well as the market for quality fungi homes had peaked and he felt the urge to move on.
So he liquidated his home and sold the resulting mushroom soup and went off to the big city to find a bride. Yes, he was searching for a Miss Gnomer As he approached the big city he began to hear stories of a strange creature that lived there called DaveA a.k.a. The Spoiler of Old Zurich Town whose mission in life was a search for the ultimate wisecrack.

My Bit

As he wandered along Bahnhof strasse, trying to keep his fishing rod out of everyone's way he saw a lovely set of pink wellingtons in a shop window and feeling slightly unsure of his sexuality hurried in to buy them, in the hope that either DaveA or a female Gnome would be impressed,

Only to find that the shop wouldn't accept any of his credit cards.

They kept saying "No credit cards - Baa"

Being a gnome, he couldn't see the connection between Wellington boots and sheep...

[möpp]

But... being a gnome and also being on the Bahnhofstrase, he could see the connection between credit cards and the desire for cash; after all, he did have quite a few (albeit distant) relatives nearby.

[Uncle Max]

Standing in front of the Talacker Bar on the third day, he saw three large glasses of alcohol. There were many people, but could see no other Gnomes (esp. no female Gnomes) so he walked in, brave and tall, and picked up the smallest glass, and drank the contents.

"Too strong" he thought, so he went to the largest glass.
"Too weak" he mumbled, and then went to the middle sized glass:
"Mmm, just right!"

THEN! (...)

[Blonaybear]

The laughter in the bar fell silent and everybody looked towards a dark sinister figure entering the bar. It was the Phantom Spoiler of Old Zurich Town ! Jeremy felt a sense of apprehension sweep over him. Would he, a simple friendly gnome, be the target of a cruel wisecrack from the evil Spoiler ?

[Salgou4]

Fortunately, and not being that tall, the Phantom Spoiler of Old Zurich town didn't notice Jeremy as he finished off his glass of Malibu and milk.
Out of the corner of his eye, Jeremy spotted something round and shiney lying on the floor with the words "Kakistocracy club" written on it. He was about to pick it up when..

[Blonaybear]

he noticed the most beautiful pair of……

[Polorise]

kittenz that were chatting up a pair of cute pussies at the bar .....