So, here it is, pressure aside, I have crossed a milestone. This is my 1000th post. Prepare for the wall of text.



It all started May this year. I was about to turn 30 which, as all people in and through my life like to remind me, is the most important female Western Civilization turning point – once 30, you are closer to the elderly home than to the paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarty!



Disclaimer

Also should stop being a selfish bitch and start popping those children out! So I spent one of the loneliest, most depressive birthdays ever in my 3 decades. I’m old, a shameful example of a female human specimen, and should probably be carted out into Aldebaran for being an offence to my religious and cultural background.

I had been living out of my home country for 10 years, in Switzerland for almost 3. I had left all my friends back “home”, half of which I had lost during a non-friendly divorce (it’s quite awful that you also have to divide your friends, isn’t it?). I had recently gone through 9 depressing months of unemployment due to very serious sick ex-bosses who should be in jail. If you had to go though something similar, you know how it can hurt the soul, and how it can turn even the person you love the most – your spouse – into a tactless, horrible fire-spiting monster.

When I was reaching the point of no return in my trip through the dark hole of my life in Switzerland, a last ray of self-esteem made me fight back. I dragged my sorry ass to the internet and used www.google.com (something some of our member should really learn to do too) and looked for something as stupid as “looking for friends in Zürich”. The result was a long list of foreigners crying tales of woes on how Swiss people are difficult to get too, and how lonely the life of a foreigner can be in Zürich.

Goal number 1 – prove I’m not the only sorry ass bag of loneliness out there – check!

I found a mailing list in English.

Goal number 2 – find people who can speak a language I understand and do not abominate – check!

Found some scandal between the mailing list and some evil other site.

Goal number 3 – join the dark side – check!

A bit of www.google.com (seriously, people, start using it!) I got the address of the English Forum, which lead to this:

Hello! :)

Goal number 4 – get badass first thread locked by evil moderator – check!

I was shy at first, as always, a bit sceptical too. But a bunch of friendly nerds just like me (minus the boobies) made me feel among equals. Finally.

I took the time to go to the Viadukt nights.

I met wonderful people, instead of some internet shadowy persona. A couple of trips to the Viadukt later, I have people I can seriously, lovingly call “friends”. And if you know me long enough, you know I don’t use that word easily.

I’ve had my fights and my own private crusades in this Forum. I have my own problems with some moderators. I can probably say I made my share of enemies, or at least my handful of people I can’t stand. I’ve got my share of problems with the retro-active policies. Sometimes I glimpse a murderous berserk mode when people believe I’m some kind of entertaining emo LiveJournal poetry, or some “Hello” styled yellow press, and rudely judge me, my actions, my thoughts with assumptions that go over the Rude border directly into @ssholeland. You know what they say: when you assume, you’re a *censured*.

I’ve tried my best to make this a better place. I came close a couple of times to just scream “Oh F@ck it! These people don’t deserve my time!”. But then I remembered all those that honestly thanked me for my help, those friendly PM of desperate foreigners lost in the turbulent waters of Switzerland that grabbed my hand onto a rocking, yet safer, ship, and I remembered the smiling faces I got to share a beer with.

So, in the end, thank you English Forum for making my life in Switzerland easier by giving me the chance to meet wonderful people. I hope that after 1000 posts of crap, those who recognize my name, recognize it either for being the nerd queen, or that weird Portuguese bitch that helps the noobs.

Here’s hope for a bombastic 31st anniversary next year in the elderly home!



Here's a very sloppy summary: I wuv you guys and gals!

Have you considered writing a regular social comment column for "The Local"?

Never mind the blah, blah, blah......when's the party?

Helm, is there a sensible summary to your picassoesque madness of a post?

The typical day in The English Forum: users demanding information contained in the original post

Last paragraph:

party, party?.. did someone mention party?... free drinks?

oh yes I see,
Happy 1000th post Helm nice to have you on board and I'll have a vodka tonic please.






EDIT:.. p.s.. nice to see you back on "this side" Ouchboy ... we gotta practice keeping those numbers down.. and I may have already said this but... nice gif.

Happy Belated Bud-Day


Shouldn't there be a Party for that too?

Great post, Helm! We are very different, but also very similar in many ways, and I am glad you decided to join EF and that I met you in person.

I think I will see you next year in the elderly home, as I too turned 30 last May - but...ehm...I don't play any videogames

Cheers!

Apparently, We are the 2%.

LOLCCUPY EF!


EDIT: Milestone threads go in off-topic. 1K Posts and you are still a noob!

"about to turn 30"
"just turned 30"

Jiminey Crickets !!! get over yourselves!

I've got underwear older than you kids !!

( Mrs. calls them my religious boxers )

Considering that, as included in the new rules that replaced the old ones in a time travel fashion that would leave Einstein kinda messed up, all the stuff I post here is property of The Local and I have no right over what they do with it, I've been signed up to write for them for free already, haven't I?

How is this daily life?

Actually, the reason why I posted it in Daily Life was because it reveals the way to all those, as me, which, judging from the Introduction threads are quite a few, are looking for friends in their Daily Life in Switzerland.

But I noticed already my interpretation on where threads should be is slightly different.

So you're still at 999!

At this point one is expected to say something witty and intelligent and compliment you on this milestone.

All I can think of is ...
... well I can't say that here.
You know how my twisted mind works.

PS: Happy 1000.

Quick! Post on "cute things kid say" THAT is very CH related....



Yep, but there are rules... somewhere in the dungeons of EF. If you are old enough in this forum, you'll find them.

Fail of the day!!

Fixed that for you

Shirley, no one could be that old