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  #21  
Old 16.06.2015, 19:17
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Re: When did you get your s*** together?

I bet you have more of your shit together than you realize. I'm guessing that you just don't think you do because your life, perhaps, doesn't look like others you know or perhaps doesn't look like what you had expected or had been taught was normal or ideal??? In any case, your history of choices, no matter what they are, do show what your priorities have been. In other words, I bet there's some things you clearly avoided and other things that you did choose to go towards or found yourself gravitating towards time and again...those things should be clues.

But, more importantly, I wonder why you ask yourself (and others) this question? Is there something you feel is missing in your life? Do you feel an emptiness or longing that you can't put your finger on? Do you think others may have something that you don't? Just a few thoughts...can you tell I'm an out of work psychologist?

And, to answer your question, I knew what I wanted to be as soon as I knew there was a word for it. Before then, I knew too, but simply didn't realize there was a word for it. I think some of us are old souls and have built skills or tendencies that lead us in a very specific direction. But, I also realized, even back then, that this was very rare. And just because you don't feel the same way, doesn't mean much of anything, just perhaps, that you are at a different place in your own, dare I say, "journey" (puke).

I hope this helps and would love to hear a response...free of charge, of course!
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  #22  
Old 16.06.2015, 20:38
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Re: When did you get your s*** together?

True it changes!

Now I am 73 and diagnosed with cancer so "staying alive" seems to have crept up the priority list
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  #23  
Old 16.06.2015, 20:53
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Re: When did you get your s*** together?

I have no time to get my shit together as I'm too busy getting everyone else's shit together.

Tom
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  #24  
Old 16.06.2015, 20:58
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Re: When did you get your s*** together?

yep- been there, done that, still at it ...
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  #25  
Old 16.06.2015, 21:14
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Re: When did you get your s*** together?

About tea time.

I find that going backwards helps ..... just keep rolling along
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  #26  
Old 16.06.2015, 21:21
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Re: When did you get your s*** together?

I guess for me, getting it together is overrated and too complicated. Sure, you need a certain amount of structure in your life, but I find that being flexible is more important to happiness in the long run. At one point in my life, I thought I had it figured out and "together."

Then I met the man that's now my husband. I threw out that version of "together" to make a life with him and continue to adapt as time goes on.

There are a million forks in the road where I could have gone a different direction. Sometimes I look back and wonder where I'd be if I'd taken a different fork at a certain time. But I have a strict policy of no regrets. Make a decision and run with it. You might not be able to go back but you can always look back and learn from the experience.
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  #27  
Old 16.06.2015, 22:16
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Re: When did you get your s*** together?

Thanks everyone. Really great replies! Specifically I'm talking about career.

I stayed in college until I was 20, studying subjects I found interesting, rather than ones I thought might be useful. I took a gap year while I waited for some light to switch on. It didn't. The year turned into 5 years, enjoying being young with my boyfriend (now husband) and our friends. Then the kids came along. I got married at 30. A couple years later I decided to choose something to do and I fancied nursing. I got on the course, and while I was waiting for the course to begin I started working as a carer, to gain some experience, and no sooner had I started the course than we moved to Switzerland! I had wanted to pick it back up here, after I settled in, but have since changed my mind. For a number of reasons, not least because in hindsight although I found the job heartwarming, interesting and rewarding; I don't think i was cut out for it. I would frequently be in tears behind the wheel between visits, and come home and cry, or lie awake thinking about the pain/suffering/loneliness/poverty of some of the people I'd cared for that day, I never toughened up over time.

So back to square one, what do I wanna do....
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  #28  
Old 16.06.2015, 22:21
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Re: When did you get your s*** together?

I'm 34 to and have no idea what I want to do or where I want to be... I'm just floating around. Actually, that's not true, I'd like to spend my life travelling (in luxury) and doing sports, learning languages and not working at all, but I've not figured out how yet
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  #29  
Old 16.06.2015, 23:15
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Re: When did you get your s*** together?

thanks everyone, more reps in the post (forum has been very stingy with how many it's letting me give out!)
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  #30  
Old 16.06.2015, 23:23
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Re: When did you get your s*** together?

Anyway, I've yet to meet a woman who has her shit together.

I think it's more a guy thing.

Tom
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  #31  
Old 17.06.2015, 15:54
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Re: When did you get your s*** together?

Think possibly most people don't have a vocation. In which case you have to look at life differently. Find a job which pays the bills and do the things outside of work which you are passionate about. Sometimes one thing leads to another.


Having spent a lot of time in hospital as a child I also gravitated towards nursing. However, I did come to realise that nursing wasn't quite what I expected and always had the feeling there was something missing. After 2-3 years living in Switzerland I discovered homeopathy and natural medicine, diagnostics and pyschology but was never in the position to train. I now know definitely that this is my vocation but at present stage of life not much point investing in an expensive training. Do intend to do courses though after retirement which is not too far away. Maybe next time around!
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  #32  
Old 17.06.2015, 16:16
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Re: When did you get your s*** together?

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I'm 34 to and have no idea what I want to do or where I want to be... I'm just floating around. Actually, that's not true, I'd like to spend my life travelling (in luxury) and doing sports, learning languages and not working at all, but I've not figured out how yet
3/4 requirements - work as a sports coach on a cruise ship

The "not working at all" bit will probably have to wait until retirement
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  #33  
Old 17.06.2015, 16:22
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Re: When did you get your s*** together?

What we think of vocations are aligned to present economic opportunities. Those are changing rather quickly. Here in Switzerland, I still meet people who have had one career in their lifetime. In the US, its not uncommon to find people who have had more than 4 careers. I met a Swiss who was a trained lithographer. But the vocation no longer exists in the digital world. Its somewhat tough to target something that may not be needed in the future.

Wouldn't it be better to identify one's talent, personality, inclination and interests first; and then find the vocation that fits it? Perhaps one is good with numbers, another is good with people. One has great tactical skills, another has strategic skills, etc.

I can't really say what one should do. But I think I'm sure I know what one should not do, and that is to not do anything. At the end of the day, one generates some ind of value, whatever it is, and receives some kind of value in return. So creating some value, whatever it is, wouldn't really be wasted. Refine that, and I think you would get ever closer to your ideal vocation.
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  #34  
Old 17.06.2015, 16:56
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Re: When did you get your s*** together?

I knew from the moment I was born I wanted to be a music artist. not a musician, mind you, but an artist. which I was, until I realized that (a) if you want to make money as an artist, you have to treat it like a job, and (b) even if you treat it like a job, the average person chooses the music they listen to on the same fickle basis that they choose between a cheeseburger or BBQ chicken - mood. there is simply no rational basis upon which to distinguish a "good" artist from a "bad" artist, at least not as among laypeople, which means there is no visibility as to likelihood of success.

then I tried everything I could to see what might stick - cook, factory rat, bum, computer programmer, until I decided to take a law school entrance exam on a whim and a bet. I asked around, and everyone told me that there is no way to study for the entrance exam, even the best prep courses promise a less than 4% improvement of your score. so I took the test without studying, and hit it out of the park. after I finished school and became licensed, my parents and many of my friends were very keen to congratulate me for "finally getting my shit together". I just laughed, and told them the truth - I became a lawyer because it is pretty easy to tell the "good" ones from the "bad", it is hard and backbreaking work for most and easy for me, and it pays well. in other words, I chose my career solely on the basis of what offered me the best opportunity to not have my shit together professionally.



as I slide less than gracefully into middle age, there is nothing that saddens me more than people who think they have their shit together. they are almost always complacent and boring, and always seem much older to me than they really are.

P.S. the cruel irony in this sordid story is that my father was right the whole time - find whatever you are meant to be good at, try to do it well, and everything else will follow.
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  #35  
Old 17.06.2015, 18:41
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Re: When did you get your s*** together?

Pixie, right now you are trying to adjust to a new country, learn a new language and help your children adapt to a new culture, yes? I think you have your sh*t together already, girl, if you are managing this.

Your time will come. Right now, just focus on your family and learning your new language and new country. Later on, if you find something that interests you, pursue it.
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  #36  
Old 17.06.2015, 19:08
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Re: When did you get your s*** together?

Today morning.... and expelled it too
It's been a new day since then.
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  #37  
Old 18.06.2015, 00:50
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Re: When did you get your s*** together?

There have been numerous articles attempting to quantify how much value a stay at home mom generates. Most of them come out to about $120K per year by US standards. That is probably pushing up toward about CHF200K in Swiss terms. Considering the life experience and how it invests in your own family, that arguably generates more value than holding a normal job and paying for childcare.
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  #38  
Old 18.06.2015, 08:48
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Re: When did you get your s*** together?

What is this "growing up" of which you speak?
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  #39  
Old 18.06.2015, 08:55
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Re: When did you get your s*** together?

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There have been numerous articles attempting to quantify how much value a stay at home mom generates. Most of them come out to about $120K per year by US standards. That is probably pushing up toward about CHF200K in Swiss terms. Considering the life experience and how it invests in your own family, that arguably generates more value than holding a normal job and paying for childcare.
Not sure how that works, as Chf120k is far higher than the average salary in Switzeland !
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  #40  
Old 18.06.2015, 08:57
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Re: When did you get your s*** together?

At sixteen, left home, career started, never looked back since.
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