SOBEIT - same here, and honestly think that the second one decides or has to be independent, one makes sure damn hard to get one's shit together.
Pixie, I don't blame you for veering off the nursing path, I quit after a year of nursing in the Traumatology ER, after I took care of a quadruplegic my age that dived in shallow waters. My heart was broken for all patients.Teaching is also a "helping" profession, less concrete pain. Maybe you can explore that...teaching, coaching, psy of free time, adult edu, edu of elderly, all these humanities fields are exciting. Nursing has helped, though, in becoming a pretty tough teacher, in being able to do a lot of emergency counselling and crisis management, since I have had a lot of that in my professional life.
| || |
| || || |
| || |I knew from the moment I was born I wanted to be a music artist. not a musician, mind you, but an artist. which I was, until I realized that (a) if you want to make money as an artist, you have to treat it like a job, and (b) even if you treat it like a job, the average person chooses the music they listen to on the same fickle basis that they choose between a cheeseburger or BBQ chicken - mood. there is simply no rational basis upon which to distinguish a "good" artist from a "bad" artist, at least not as among laypeople, which means there is no visibility as to likelihood of success.
then I tried everything I could to see what might stick - cook, factory rat, bum, computer programmer, until I decided to take a law school entrance exam on a whim and a bet. I asked around, and everyone told me that there is no way to study for the entrance exam, even the best prep courses promise a less than 4% improvement of your score. so I took the test without studying, and hit it out of the park. after I finished school and became licensed, my parents and many of my friends were very keen to congratulate me for "finally getting my shit together". I just laughed, and told them the truth - I became a lawyer because it is pretty easy to tell the "good" ones from the "bad", it is hard and backbreaking work for most and easy for me, and it pays well. in other words, I chose my career solely on the basis of what offered me the best opportunity to not have my shit together professionally.
as I slide less than gracefully into middle age, there is nothing that saddens me more than people who think they have their shit together. they are almost always complacent and boring, and always seem much older to me than they really are.
P.S. the cruel irony in this sordid story is that my father was right the whole time - find whatever you are meant to be good at, try to do it well, and everything else will follow.
| || || |
This is an excellent personal story...I feel I have done similar path, with arts and music always being very easy and intuitive for me, so I realized I cannot kill the magic with turning it into my career and put breadwinning stress on it. I think it has helped me conserve the passion and ability to perform and learn, progress, and reap the benefits creativity offers for personal development and happiness, most of all.
Falling ungracefully into middle age? Hahahah, it is great. And fo sho, people who never doubt, who are so sure of themselves and got all figured out, are not always very genuine, but almost always very boring. It is amazing to be human, and sometimes, it takes time to figure out what is good and what is not. Confusion often precedes something new and big. I like that fluidity, continuity of ups and downs, from childhood, to later.
Who says how things should be apart from ourselves? It is good, though, to invest in trying to know oneself, not listen to what one should do (societal ideas about success, status, parents having expectations, etc.).
When one becomes a parent, it gets more simple. Lots of guidance lies in realizing that one is a role model. So I have the opportunity to teach my kid how to make decisions so she is happy with her life and herself one day. And since talking does very little, I gotta show her by living my words...