Makes much more sense now

Haven't you thought that is maybe that the reason why they want to talk to you on the first place?

Many women have a distorted view of things. ( many men too off course )

It is amusing to see how a pretty woman is allways treated with so much attention by many men that try to make her feel good, entertain her, take her out, buy her drinks, do things for her etc. etc.

For no reason ? because she is interesting and has a bright personality ? c'mon !

And many of them know it very well. But I have met some that simply had no clue and thought it was because they were so interesting.

The truth is that if you remove the sexual attraction, then many man-woman interaction would be simply dull and senseless.

romeo

And you had me convinced you were a romantic...

You're talking about eligible men. I'm talking about SOME non-eligible men: they don't care about the marital status of a woman they chat up. They just want some hoo-ha.

Of course I have decent hetero male friends -- the great sum total of two.

I am, but this doesn't keep me from see things like they are.

hmm must be some new-fangled romantic

cuz a real romantic does believe that even with no sexual attraction the woman of his dreams is interesting and worth talking to...

Sure sexual attraction is a big part - but don't you also have guy friends? Are you saying that you have sexual attraction for them (as otherwise you'd have no interest in them)?

I find that statement a bit too black and white...

I wish you wouldn't use my username as a signature, I get slightly confused....

I don't agree very much with what you've written, the key element of interest is wanting to spend more time with the person, and being at your happiest when you do so.

dave

Sorry, but I have yet to meet a bloke who is not sexually attracted to the woman of his dreams..

sure, but it is a very different kind of interest.

the sexual attraction conditions the interest in a big way and acts as a lubricant for things that wouldn't work without it.

This is natural off course. The thing is that the sex-drive and attraction inevitably fades away, on a short or long period.

Then you are left with a person-to-person and not to a man-to-woman, kind of.

That is why so many couples separate and divorce. After the attraction that facilitated ( or forced ) the relationship is gone, then it would maybe not work.

With your male friends or women you are not attracted to, you base the relationships primarly on many other motivations.

Exactly, the romaticism is the sexual attraction sublimated on something pure.

Yeah, I'll grant you that.

dave

wtf are you talking about ? Do you really come out with this stuff when entertaining the ladiez ?

dave

I dont quite understand it, but it is entertaining

I see that the gentleman have taken this thread into the drawing room to discuss with port and cigars, with the ladies occasionally popping in to say something.

I'll shut the door now and you can carry on... this is very enlightening.

Jennifer

I know sweettush

Now on the definition of Romance :

Historians say that Romance was invented in the middle ages. Chivalric romance described in the adventures of legendary knights, and celebrating an idealized code of civilized behaviour that combines loyalty, honour, and courtly love. The emphasis on heterosexual love and courtly manners distinguishes it from the chanson de geste and other kinds of epic , in which masculine military heroism predominates.

Those chivalric romantic tales had a profound effect on subsequent Western attitudes to love converting sexual desire from a degrading necessity of physical life into a spiritually ennobling emotion, almost a religious vocation. An elaborate code of behaviour evolved around the tormented male lover's abject obedience to a disdainful, idealized lady, who was usually his social superior.

This has evolved to our days concept of romance, the pursue of the lady by the gentlemen follows this concepts. Even if we all know that the most effective way for the couple to form is the basic one ( before this romantic concept existed ). And it is the same existence of this courtly love conception what makes both participants in the game suffer.

Back in the UK i had a few very good gay friends, and we always had a laugh together, i think they are the best friends that you can have, i really miss them.

I also have alot of heterosexual male friends, and have loads of fun with them aswell

Dont go Jennifer, you distract them by talking about something not boring, and I'll rob the port

Oh, Happy Birthday Jennifer x. Have some port in lieu of a present.

dave

Smooth

The thing I find odd about the salsa lover body of work on the forum is the house of cards he builds of romantic illusion, to be brought crashing down by the occasional admission like "he doesn't wine , dine and fuss over you because he finds you interesting, he just wants to **** you."

dave