Hello there. Being very single and having had a few fairly good experiences with Online Dating (including a 2.5 year relationship), I decided to have another go at it back in autumn. Thing is, while last year and the time I ended up with a lovely relationship, people seemed generally interested to find someone special, took it seriously and were the kind of people I would love to talk to in real life but am too shy to do so.

Now, I ended up meeting guys who are ostentatiously just bored in their current relationships (but state to be single!), bored in general or hoping that Pam Anderson is now available since she left Kid Rock. Alternatively, they will be nice guys but sadly my father's age, which will probably be what I want in a few years time but not now. Others put in a false age and ancient photo or say that they are taller than they are, which is kind of sad, really... And then there are the guys who are after other things entirely, even if you point out that that's not what you want. Of course there are some lovely chaps but they tend to live miiiiles away, which is not exactly going to work either.

*le sigh*

So I was wondering, am I just unlucky at the mo' or is there a general sense of "online dating as a hobby" around? Do I have to give my mother the satisfaction of agreeing with her observation that I have ridiculously high standards? *attention - rethorical question*

I'd love to hear your views and experiences.

Hi!

I have never tried it myself as I am seeing someone, but I have had a few friends that tried speed dating, and although in some cases it lead to a period of seeing each other, in all cases my friends were glad that they did not waste a whole evening with someone, but just wasted 3 minutes.
Are there any speed dating events in Zurich?

You have described your situation very interestingly.

Your mother could be right (mothers are often right ), but if you are not going to be satisfied, don't lower your standards.

Yeah, the sooner you accept that your mother is almost always right, the less therapy you will need.

Well I must say I am always on online at some point in time when I want to find someone to go out with. Maybe I too fall into the category of those "guys" who are bored!

But now I am seriously looking for a long term relationship...and dare I say it marriage even! And online dating, excuse my french is crap. Since I have been in Zurich, only for a few weeks now although I was scouting the scene before I arrived, I have not made any serious contacts. I have indeed made a few guys friends, but I am always making guy friends.

The guys on those sites "think" they are ready for a relationship when in fact they are only "distracting" themselves from their true state of being which is DENIAL.

I agree that I get most of my interest from middle aged men but I don't want that. I should just carry on in this pitiful state now until I get middle aged and then hoepfully I will be excited about a middle aged guy.

Mainly the guys have baggage. I mean really, think about it. If a guy is over 35 and not in a serious relationship (or who hasn't had one for some time) then I think they are what my girlfriend labels "damaged goods".

Nevertheless, how else will I meet as many potential guys? I am caught between a rock and a hard place.:-)))

Do you read Cosmopolitan etc? Mr Right doesn't exist, sorry girls.

And arguably, if you get everything you want in a bloke then he's probably gay.
Average bloke just want bigger and more expensive toys to play with

The pickings in Birmensdorf are rather slim, the fittest bloke there is my doctor and he's in his fifties.

Having been in the UK, I just think that guys here seem to be caught in this weird situation where they - excuse MY french - seem to think all with their groins OR all with their brains. As in, either you are just a plaything OR you have to fit every single criteria plus all those of his mother, which, should you succeed, kinda ends in him not budging from that place ever again. In the UK, there seemed to be a bit more "healthy middleground" thinking going on.

Also, it didn't matter that much if you were not supermodel slim, whereas I've seen guys here put down exact BMI numbers within which you must be or shamefully hide yourself in the corner. But then that was maybe just the North East, where laughing like a drain and knowing dirty jokes seems to hold more kudos than fitting into a size 6.

To be honest, it's not like I'm desperate, there is a thing to be said about not taking off your pyjamas all Sunday but really, it's not exactly exciting.

Well I am most definetely not looking for the perfect guy.

I can list right here and now the basics:

1. Ready for long term relationship - (knowing it is giving and receiving and that there will be ups and downs from both parties and willing to work through it

2. Confident being whatever/whoever he is (whatever that is) with good morals
3. Appearance - as long as I can stand to look at him he is fine :-) I have to want him physically but that could be anything.

Need I say more? How complicated is that?

I think maybe it is too simple....

Smelling good is important too. And many other things. But after listing all the things, you usually end up walking into someone who fits almost none of them and still blows you away.

I conceede that I am notoriously picky. Which you should be if you are prepared to get up on Sundays and face the rain to fetch Gipfeli for someone.

Meeting "the one" usually happens when you least expect it. I met my husband while backpacking by myself on the other side of the world, I'm Scottish & he's Irish yet we met 15,000 miles from home. It was the last thing I was looking for or expecting but that was 10 years ago, 6 years married and 2 kids later we are still going strong. So you never know, that stranger you lock eyes with across the room could be just the person you are looking for . Good luck.

Couldn't agree more Lou.. Love can smacks you right in the face from the oddest angle when you aren't looking.

ah. The perfect woman. Poached eggs, not fried, with them as well please

It does work - that's how I met my (Swiss) wife! Through www.flirt.ch. And after 6 years, I have to say we're a dream team, and very happy.

But the whole experience was SO interesting, especially if you are fascinated by people, or as I am, ladies. I've always found the company of a lady more intellectually interesting than standing in a (smoky) bar, drinking lots of beer (which I'm not fond of) and talking about football (boring) or sex (don't want to TALK about it!)

First thing I learned was everyone lies - age, weight etc. Second, it seems that many Swiss ladies are totally bored with Swiss guys, who seem to be just looking for a replacement mother. So as a normal-bodied Brit male who was genuinely free (if somewhat secondhand), who really LIKES ladies and loves holding doors, long conversation, can iron his own shirts and loves and buying flowers, I had a great time. But I subtracted 10 years too!

Just before meeting my love, I read graffitti in a bus shelter in Schaffhausen. My humour at 07:00 is not the best but I read "Jungs sind wie ein Klo, entwieder beschissen oder bezetst" (boys are like a toilet, either shitty or occupied). And that holds even more as you get older, people have formed successful relationships and what's left over is somewhat used.

Advice? Hard. Use the dating sites, don't take it too seriously, be safe, have fun, don't compromise, (unfortunately) be prepared for lies.

Good luck.

Richard

The best places to meet potential dates online are anywhere except dating sites. Fact

and for the ignorant among us what is Gipfeli?

Whilst i'm not convinced you can go looking for it, you can put yourself in situations where you're going to meet more peeps (as tiring as it can get at times).

Go and post a new event on the calendar

I thought Pat's Treasure Hunt on Friday was a great opportunity for meeting because there were lots of peeps, both EF and non-EF. It was a shame everybody legged it afterwards, although I'm ashamed to admit I did the same this time


I had a go at speed dating back in Sydney. It was kinda fun and nothing came of it in the end. You just have to take these kinds of things as another element of your 'putting yourself out there' strategy. One of many angles, rather than THE way you'll meet the right partner.

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=define:gipfeli

Das Wort Gipfel kann auf folgende Art und Weise verwendet werden: *Es bezeichnet die höchste Stelle eines Berges oder eines Gebirgszuges. Der Gipfel ist von den nächsten Gipfeln durch Übergänge getrennt, die in den Alpen je nach ihrer Form und Steilheit Scharte, Joch, Pass oder Sattel genannt werden. In anderen Gebirgen gibt es dafür auch regionaltypische andere Bezeichnungen.Fast immer verlaufen über die Gipfel auch Gemeinde- oder Landes-Grenzen. ...
de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gipfeli

... which translated means ...

http://translate.google.com/translat...&hl=en&ie=UTF8


Changes too: Navigation, search

The word summit designates:

* the highest place of a mountain or a mountain course, see summit (mountain)
* a political meeting of leaders, see summits
* a Croissant pastry (Swiss German; S.A. Kipferl)
* if the point of a tree isolates, see treetops
* the maximum of an achievement (see maximum), a procedure or an emotion
* in mathematics the highest point of a curve or a frequency distribution (both can be also mehrgipfelig

I'm guessing it's a Croissant pastry (Swiss German; S.A. Kipferl)

It the Swiss German for croissant.

Sounds like bad planning to me. A good wife (Ok, or hubby!) would have gotten the bacon and eggs in a few days earlier!

Gipfeli are the sinfully buttery, crumbly things that go ever so well with more butter and honey. I prefer proper bread myself but if darling wants Gipfeli, that's what shall be fetched. I had a pure Swiss boyfriend for 2.5 years (his mom was a cook and then did the Hauswirtschaftsschule) and dated a guy whose mother works for Betty Bossi, I'm well trained. But I refuse to iron.

I guess not looking is the way to go and social events are definitely an opportunity but I really tend get shy and overwhelmed by it all. And the old "meet people at work" thing definitely doesn't work because, well, the nice ones are married or very taken and the good-looking ones are so in love with themselves there's no room for anybody else.