Colonel Boris' Surly Thread.

[Colonelboris]

Right - no fluffeh good wishes or other tree-hugging hippy stuff. This is a good whinge and I don't want it spoiled with 'be cheerful - it might never happen' and associated guff.
Feel free to add your own whinges, although it has to have the attribute that the subject itself is not massively important.

And begin.
A woman at work is having a baby, which is lovely. However, the secretary decided to buy her a present. When she realised how much it was going to be, she decided we would all help pay for it without giving anyone the chance to say 'no'. As such, we now have to pay Fr. 30 for something that could have been bought elsewhere a lot cheaper and at a lot better quality.
Every now and again, it's not too big a deal, but she also did something similar over another person leaving, which also cost us all Fr. 30 just a couple of weeks ago. And there's more people leaving soon. Also, many of my colleagues are on short wages anyway, so Fr. 30 is a fair bit to some of them. One colleague was already making something else and had spent some money on it, so didn't want to join in on the 'group' gift and got a hell of a rocket for her troubles.
As I'm leaving soon, one of my friends asked me what I wanted so a) I didn't bankrupt everyone and b) they didn't get something crap that I don't want and couldn't transport to Australia...

[/rant]

[terryhall]

That's ridiculous - whatever happened to the "envelope passed around" tradition where everyone puts in what they can afford and/or feel is appropriate?

If someone said to me that my "expected contribution" was 30 chf, I'd tell them to foxtrot oscar.

edit - the problem now is that of the self fulfilling prophecy - those who are now coming up to leave will be well aware of the 30chf per person precedent - and some will actively be expecting that figure...

[Colonelboris]

	Quote:	terryhall
	That's ridiculous - whatever happened to the "envelope passed around" tradition where everyone puts in what they can afford and/or feel is appropriate? If someone said to me that my "expected contribution" was 30 chf, I'd tell them to foxtrot oscar.

It's become some sort of protection racket - you pay the full amount, or you don't get to sign the card. It's not just us at work, either. The secretary's phoned up loads of her old workmates who have left, too.

[terryhall]

You should all pass around an envelope next time, and wait until she's already bought the crystal chandelier or whatever, then go over and say "we've had a whip round and bought this already - do you want to chip in for it?"

I doubt she'll do it again after that...

[Colonelboris]

	Quote:	terryhall
	You should all pass around an envelope next time, and wait until she's already bought the crystal chandelier or whatever, then go over and say "we've had a whip round and bought this already - do you want to chip in for it?" I doubt she'll do it again after that...

Yes indeed - I'll set that up at work this week.
Mwa ha ha ha!

[sharkey]

How about just sending her a little email, and copying everyone else in the company.

something along the lines of...

STOP!
That is useless Girly Crap.
I will not fund it.
Now do some work.

[terryhall]

Hahahah, excellent

[Colonelboris]

	Quote:	sharkey
	How about just sending her a little email, and copying everyone else in the company. something along the lines of... STOP! That is useless Girly Crap. I will not fund it. Now do some work.

As soon as she's helped me write several letters in German...

[terryhall]

	Quote:	Colonelboris
	As soon as she's helped me write several letters in German...

Even better - send her that to translate to German - then when she's done it, send it to her.

[Colonelboris]

	Quote:	terryhall
	Even better - send her that to translate to German - then when she's done it, send it to her.

Well, as a leaving present, I did consider taking the case off of her PC and putting a load of fish on the cooling fins. That way, for the first few weeks after I've left, the smell of warm, rotting fish is wafted around her office by the PC fan...

[sharkey]

	Quote:	Colonelboris
	Well, as a leaving present, I did consider taking the case off of her PC and putting a load of fish on the cooling fins. That way, for the first few weeks after I've left, the smell of warm, rotting fish is wafted around her office by the PC fan...

I believe Tetras are the best for this. They're small enough to place between circuit boards without any danger of shorting anything out, and they should heat up and rot quite quickly... Throw a larger specimen in there aswell, to prolong the stench.

[MusicChick]

This makes me laugh... It looks like one passive aggressive secretary. I think her behaviour is manipulative and it seems to me she either wants to pisš people off or she wants to get an expensive present herself. Is her bday coming up, by any chance?

Why does not anyone approach her and tell her that maybe people have their own ideas about good-bye presents, like getting together for a couple of drinks instead? I would be angry, pushed into heafty chippin' in and not because of the cash (well, that too, it's a load of moneys) but because of that crappy tricks she has been pullin'.

I think the only polite way is to be faster than her and have that descrete "chip in whatever you think is appropriate" envelope circulating before she starts another of her speculations. If somebody just gave me a card if I was leaving or had a baby shower, that would be totally enough.

[evilshell]

That is truly insulting. Makes me angry to even consider how I'd feel in that situation...

This is a complaint! Ergo, I'm moving it over to the complaints

[tomcat]

Last time I was "gently motivated" into contributing to a present of some kind for a joiner or leaver, I gave my "voluntary contribution" in small coins. They were not as amused as I was.

[Nathu]

Well... I don't want to spoil it but she has already organised it.

Your goodbye present

Presents "from the team" can be a big nuisance when organised that way. At Gymnasium I didn't particularly like our main teacher but he scored a 400.- wine voucher that way. Else I've not fallen victim to the scheme.

[Deep Purple]

I'm not a great fan of office collections either, except perhaps for long service retirements or other special cases. They can be very disciminatory.

Some years ago, the firm I was working for had a spell of mass redundancies. Many people left at a moments notice without any collections etc. Fortunately, I was spared redundancy.

A few weeks later I left due to the uncertainty within the company and I had secured a far better job. When I was given a leaving present, I could not bring myself to accept it as I was bettering myself while many who had been made redundant had not received anything.

I know it was a nice thought from my colleagues and some understood my decision. As few felt that I did the wrong thing in not accepting it.

[Colonelboris]

	Quote:	evilshell
	That is truly insulting. Makes me angry to even consider how I'd feel in that situation... This is a complaint! Ergo, I'm moving it over to the complaints

We've got the vague suspicion that our internet usage at work is being monitored, so if it could disappear back into off-topic, that'd be grand as then non-members can't read it...

[Castro]

You're leaving to Australia! please say it ain't so CB

[Colonelboris]

	Quote:	Castro
	You're leaving to Australia! please say it ain't so CB

Yep - seven weeks left and we're off.

[argus]

Oh, don't you resent those office busybodies. It should be voluntary and passing-the-kitty-around style. Who wants those 'presents' anyway? If they've become personal friends, I'd take them out to lunch myself.
I'd only contribute to bereavement kitties, and more to lesser-paid employees who had lost a family member or to the family of an employee who has died. (It's a bit different in Malaysia, I guess.)

P.S. Colonel, so the strange birds of Australia are gonna get an eyeing/eyeful from you?