Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Off-Topic > Off-Topic > General off-topic
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 13.08.2009, 13:20
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Zurich
Posts: 4,319
Groaned at 106 Times in 88 Posts
Thanked 3,476 Times in 1,449 Posts
Richdog has a reputation beyond reputeRichdog has a reputation beyond reputeRichdog has a reputation beyond reputeRichdog has a reputation beyond reputeRichdog has a reputation beyond reputeRichdog has a reputation beyond repute
The Internet Guide to Flame Warriors

Well, while we're on the subject at the moment let me just present something that had me in stitches for a long time. This link catalogues the different types of netizen out there, from the benign to the most hardened troll http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/

My personal faves are...
Quote:

Xenophobe is usually a long-term discussion forum participant and he thinks of the forum as his private compound. Xenophobe regards new forum arrivals as mentally deficient and perhaps even having criminal tendencies, and they are invariably approached with suspicion and condescension. Xenophobe will mount a furious attack if a Newbie has the temerity to make critical observations about the forum's social dynamics, or questions its prevailing opinions.
Quote:
ALLCAPS attempts to compensate for his limited rhetorical weaponry through the extravagant use of capitalized words - something netizens refer to as SHOUTING. Sure, a sprinkling of capitalized words can add some zip to a thrust, but they should be used sparingly. Even worse from a tactical point of view, too much shouting alerts other Warriors to the opponent's verbal WEAKNESS and emotional EXCITABILITY.
Quote:
Bliss Ninny doesn't understand why people just can't get along. While it is entirely unintentional, Bliss Ninny's utterly vacuous comments can drive the more pugnacious Warriors into a frenzy of aggression. Often in the heat of battle Bliss Ninny will discuss her cat.
Quote:
Android doesn't anger, nor does he engage in actual combat, rather he will merely point out the logical inconsistencies of other Warriors. Irony and sarcasm are completely lost on Android, and being impossible to insult or injure in any way, he is invulnerable to conventional attack. If, for example, someone were to call him a pinhead, he would get out a tape measure and after finding that his cranium falls within normal size specifications Android would dismiss the comment as erroneous. Android's circuits are not equipped to process ambiguous or aesthetic input, consequently any extensive discussion involving personal feelings, intuition, art and metaphorical allusions will quickly drive Android from the field of battle.
There are sooo many good ones though, and the pics are hilarious. You can put one to so many people you know.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 13.08.2009, 13:47
evilshell's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: UK, formerly Basel
Posts: 3,605
Groaned at 94 Times in 79 Posts
Thanked 3,013 Times in 1,302 Posts
evilshell has a reputation beyond reputeevilshell has a reputation beyond reputeevilshell has a reputation beyond reputeevilshell has a reputation beyond reputeevilshell has a reputation beyond reputeevilshell has a reputation beyond repute
Re: The Internet Guide to Flame Warriors

Some of my favorites from that list:

Quote:
Capitalista is not always a wealthy fat cat; being a Capitalista is a state of mind rather than a reflection of affluence. A strident and extraordinarily self–satisfied Warrior, Capitalista takes every opportunity to extol the superiority of the free enterprise system and has a powerful aversion to the welfare states of Europe. Capitalista fiercely defends the market economy, bludgeoning “fuzzy-minded socialists” with Adam Smith, Milton Friedman and Friedrich Hayek. Though rather limited in his range of interests, Capitalista’s command of carefully selected historical facts, abstruse statistical comparisons and arcane economic theory make him a formidable foe.
Quote:
Enfant Provocateur likes to stir up trouble because...because, well...just because. This species of Flame Warrior is almost always young and male - it could be just a hormone thing.
(the picture on this one -above- cracked me up)

Quote:
Artful Dodger is a nimble and elusive Warrior. When strongly attacked he changes the subject with a diversionary counterattack. For example, if in a moment of pique his opponent refers to him to him as a "sonofabitch", Artful Dodger will not only demand a public apology for the insult to his own mother, but will castigate his opponent on behalf all mothers everywhere. Knowing full well that staying on topic works to his disadvantage, Artful Dodger will not allow himself to be pinned down.
Quote:
In bygone days Ents roamed an internet paradise of purposeful forums, but in recent times Ents have grown quiet. Indeed, Ents are so rarely heard from these days that netizens have begun to doubt that they ever existed. Being privy to the secrets of the ancients Ents are an extremely powerful Warriors, and are all the more so because of the veneration in which they are held. Warriors who chop and burn an Ent in battle will not earn glory, but will instead incite the enmity of the entire forum.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 13.08.2009, 13:57
Mud's Avatar
Mud Mud is offline
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: La Cote
Posts: 2,303
Groaned at 20 Times in 17 Posts
Thanked 4,209 Times in 1,589 Posts
Mud has a reputation beyond reputeMud has a reputation beyond reputeMud has a reputation beyond reputeMud has a reputation beyond reputeMud has a reputation beyond reputeMud has a reputation beyond repute
Re: The Internet Guide to Flame Warriors

OMGWTFBBS

That was hilarious! Thankfully I don't fit any of the descriptions.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 13.08.2009, 14:02
Nathu's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Zürich
Posts: 4,863
Groaned at 18 Times in 16 Posts
Thanked 2,208 Times in 1,248 Posts
Nathu has a reputation beyond reputeNathu has a reputation beyond reputeNathu has a reputation beyond reputeNathu has a reputation beyond reputeNathu has a reputation beyond reputeNathu has a reputation beyond repute
Re: The Internet Guide to Flame Warriors

EF flame wars warrior rooster

THIS HAS BEEN POSTED BEFORE!11ELEVEN
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 13.08.2009, 14:04
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Zurich
Posts: 4,319
Groaned at 106 Times in 88 Posts
Thanked 3,476 Times in 1,449 Posts
Richdog has a reputation beyond reputeRichdog has a reputation beyond reputeRichdog has a reputation beyond reputeRichdog has a reputation beyond reputeRichdog has a reputation beyond reputeRichdog has a reputation beyond repute
Re: The Internet Guide to Flame Warriors

Heh i've just found the perfect one for DB...

Quote:
For Tireless Rebutter there is no such thing as a trivial dispute. He regards all challenges as barbarians at the gates. His unflagging tenacity in making his points numbs and eventually wears down the opposition. Confident that his arguments are sound, Tireless Rebutter can't understand why he is universally loathed.
Except obviously not the universally loathed part, ignore that bit.

And JLP...

Quote:
Strumpet finds sex talk completely irresistible and constantly forwards excruciatingly unfunny and lurid jokes to the discussion forum. She always manages to sprinkle conversations with references to private parts and will never let pass without comment any mention of the words "eat," "enter," "come," "rub," etc. She disregards the women and flirts with all the men, often bragging that she has a husband or boyfriend that expertly satisfies her putatively voracious sexual appetite, but forum members....er, participants...quickly conclude no husband or boyfriend exists. Should any Warrior challenge her directly Strumpet will disparage her attacker's sexual orientation and/or penis size. CAUTION: Strumpet may be a man.
Quote:
View Post
EF flame wars warrior rooster

THIS HAS BEEN POSTED BEFORE!11ELEVEN
And youuuuuuuu.......

Quote:
Admin is the janitor, the cop, the mayor, the judge and sometimes even the forum doctor who tends to Warriors injured in battle - in other words, Nanny on steroids. Because he runs the forum and sets the rules Admin has the power to pull the plug on any Warrior who gets a little too frisky. Sometimes his efforts are appreciated, but like any authority figure he is also resented - especially by Jerk, Evil Clown, Enfant Provocateur, Ego, Rebel Without a Clue, Yuk Yuk, Troller, and other Warriors who would like to turn the forum into their personal playground. Most Admins are generally fair and even handed, but the adage that absolute power corrupts absolutely is as true on the internet as it is anywhere else, and it is a rare Admin who can resist bringing the hammer down if seriously pressed by a determined foe. Sycophant and other suckups will also attach themselves to a strong Admin to form a defensive perimeter around him, and more often than not Admin's enemies will be driven off without him ever having to brandish his ax. CAUTION: Admin is the most powerful of all Warriors and drawing him into direct battle invites almost certain defeat. Rebel Leader does pose a limited threat to Admin's power by fomenting a revolt and causing forum members to jump ship
All in the spirit of fun, feel free to do the same to me.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 13.08.2009, 14:06
Nickers's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Zurich
Posts: 4,165
Groaned at 46 Times in 40 Posts
Thanked 4,809 Times in 1,670 Posts
Nickers has a reputation beyond reputeNickers has a reputation beyond reputeNickers has a reputation beyond reputeNickers has a reputation beyond reputeNickers has a reputation beyond reputeNickers has a reputation beyond repute
Re: The Internet Guide to Flame Warriors

Quote:
Android doesn't anger, nor does he engage in actual combat, rather he will merely point out the logical inconsistencies of other Warriors. Irony and sarcasm are completely lost on Android, and being impossible to insult or injure in any way, he is invulnerable to conventional attack. If, for example, someone were to call him a pinhead, he would get out a tape measure and after finding that his cranium falls within normal size specifications Android would dismiss the comment as erroneous. Android's circuits are not equipped to process ambiguous or aesthetic input, consequently any extensive discussion involving personal feelings, intuition, art and metaphorical allusions will quickly drive Android from the field of battle.
I recognise this character

Quote:
Although sometimes a male, Crybaby is usually a female, and often a close ally of Innocence Abused. When teased or attacked Crybaby will pitch a loud public temper tantrum, holding her breath and kicking her feet. If that defense fails she will run to Nanny for comfort.
this one too seems familiar

Quote:
Cyber Sisters are an extremely fierce confederation of fighting females who act something like a shrill Greek chorus, echoing and amplifying one another's voice until their foes retreat in disarray. They are generally leaderless, but anyone who challenges one Cyber Sister can expect to be savagely attacked by the others. Only the most powerful and battle-hardened of Warriors is strong enough to weather a Cyber Sisters attack.
ROT anyone?

Quote:
Centurion tries to gain tactical advantage in battle by asserting that he is, or was at one time, in the military. He affects the brusque demeanor and clipped style of a drill sergeant, and intimidates opponents by sprinkling his messages with military verbiage and obscure acronyms. He reinforces weak arguments by constantly reminding other Warriors that he has “done his duty”, or “served his country”. Sometimes Centurion may even post pictures of military hardware or images of himself in fatigues brandishing a weapon. Centurion may actually have a military background, or he may just be a nut case - no one really knows. Centurion loathes and is loathed by Weenie, Artiste and Fragile Femme. His natural ally is Troglodyte.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 13.08.2009, 14:11
Colonelboris's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Sydney, Australia.
Posts: 1,132
Groaned at 23 Times in 22 Posts
Thanked 1,262 Times in 666 Posts
Blog Entries: 2
Colonelboris has a reputation beyond reputeColonelboris has a reputation beyond reputeColonelboris has a reputation beyond reputeColonelboris has a reputation beyond reputeColonelboris has a reputation beyond repute
Re: The Internet Guide to Flame Warriors

God knows we've had enough of these lately...

http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/warriorshtm/klaxon.htm
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 13.08.2009, 14:11
swissotter's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: singaporeotter
Posts: 1,765
Groaned at 7 Times in 7 Posts
Thanked 1,849 Times in 938 Posts
swissotter has a reputation beyond reputeswissotter has a reputation beyond reputeswissotter has a reputation beyond reputeswissotter has a reputation beyond reputeswissotter has a reputation beyond reputeswissotter has a reputation beyond repute
Re: The Internet Guide to Flame Warriors

Quote:
View Post
EF flame wars warrior rooster

THIS HAS BEEN POSTED BEFORE!11ELEVEN
so in this case richdog = reposter flame warrior....
.
.



(come to think of it you did repost my internet theory pic too...)
Quote:
View Post
All in the spirit of fun, feel free to do the same to me.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 13.08.2009, 14:15
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Zurich
Posts: 4,319
Groaned at 106 Times in 88 Posts
Thanked 3,476 Times in 1,449 Posts
Richdog has a reputation beyond reputeRichdog has a reputation beyond reputeRichdog has a reputation beyond reputeRichdog has a reputation beyond reputeRichdog has a reputation beyond reputeRichdog has a reputation beyond repute
Re: The Internet Guide to Flame Warriors

Doh, I must be this then...

Quote:
Necormancer has a supernatural ability to bring long-dead forum discussion threads back to life. After having been flogged to death the thread may have been deceased for many years, and bringing it back may have scant relevance to the current topic, yet Necromancer will unexpectedly exhume the thread’s rotting corpse, and strike horror in the forum as its grotesque form lurches into the discussion. The monster, instantly recognized by all who knew it in life, seems at first to breathe and have a pulse, but, alas, it is beyond Necromancer’s skill to fully restore the thread’s original vitality. The hideous apparition may frighten away some of the weaker Warriors or Warriors badly wounded in former battles, but the thread is only a shadow of its former self and very quickly expires.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 13.08.2009, 14:22
swissotter's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: singaporeotter
Posts: 1,765
Groaned at 7 Times in 7 Posts
Thanked 1,849 Times in 938 Posts
swissotter has a reputation beyond reputeswissotter has a reputation beyond reputeswissotter has a reputation beyond reputeswissotter has a reputation beyond reputeswissotter has a reputation beyond reputeswissotter has a reputation beyond repute
Re: The Internet Guide to Flame Warriors

well you're not the only one. i guess i am somewhat this :

Quote:
Archivist saves and squirrels away each and every discussion forum message. Do you remember having a bad day back in 1996 when in one of your messages you may have said a few things that were...well, perhaps a little...hasty? Don't worry, Archivist still has it and will post it to the forum if you begin to get the upper hand in battle. Archivist can be a very effective and fearsome Warrior.
but in the real world we can get along + even share a crap tally beer together, no? (along with strumpet + tireless rebutter + admin etc etc )
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 13.08.2009, 14:33
Natasha's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Zurich
Posts: 2,867
Groaned at 64 Times in 60 Posts
Thanked 3,079 Times in 1,130 Posts
Natasha has a reputation beyond reputeNatasha has a reputation beyond reputeNatasha has a reputation beyond reputeNatasha has a reputation beyond reputeNatasha has a reputation beyond reputeNatasha has a reputation beyond repute
Re: The Internet Guide to Flame Warriors

Jeez Rich, how does it feel to be trumped by the Salsa Lover?
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 13.08.2009, 14:35
sharkey's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Lausanne
Posts: 669
Groaned at 7 Times in 6 Posts
Thanked 1,106 Times in 499 Posts
sharkey has a reputation beyond reputesharkey has a reputation beyond reputesharkey has a reputation beyond reputesharkey has a reputation beyond reputesharkey has a reputation beyond reputesharkey has a reputation beyond repute
Re: The Internet Guide to Flame Warriors

I think I may have found my "Flame warrior" type, but it occurs to me that such a persona is incredibly boring. As such, I think I will have to alter my Online Behaviour accordingly.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 13.08.2009, 15:03
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Zurich
Posts: 4,319
Groaned at 106 Times in 88 Posts
Thanked 3,476 Times in 1,449 Posts
Richdog has a reputation beyond reputeRichdog has a reputation beyond reputeRichdog has a reputation beyond reputeRichdog has a reputation beyond reputeRichdog has a reputation beyond reputeRichdog has a reputation beyond repute
Re: The Internet Guide to Flame Warriors

Quote:
View Post
Jeez Rich, how does it feel to be trumped by the Salsa Lover?
My e-peen is limp.

Quote:
View Post
I think I may have found my "Flame warrior" type, but it occurs to me that such a persona is incredibly boring. As such, I think I will have to alter my Online Behaviour accordingly.
Go on, which one was it.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 13.08.2009, 15:09
sharkey's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Lausanne
Posts: 669
Groaned at 7 Times in 6 Posts
Thanked 1,106 Times in 499 Posts
sharkey has a reputation beyond reputesharkey has a reputation beyond reputesharkey has a reputation beyond reputesharkey has a reputation beyond reputesharkey has a reputation beyond reputesharkey has a reputation beyond repute
Re: The Internet Guide to Flame Warriors

Quote:
View Post

Go on, which one was it.
I'm thinking Eagle Scout.

Quote:
Eagle Scout is a positive, constructive Warrior who endeavors to submit original articles which contain useful content and relevant information with supporting citations and links, thus initiating meaningful discussion threads. Eagle Scout regards the internet as an uplifting, egalitarian, worldwide arena for the exchange of ideas among intelligent, thinking individuals. He does not openly attack, but will (ever tactfully) chastise disruptive comments, gratuitous insults and cretinous insipidity. He is always kind and helpful to Newbie, and will shrug off even the most egregious insults. Eagle Scout is loathed with a poisonous intensity by Evil Clown, Jerk, Enfant Provocateur and Ego.
CAUTION: Sometimes Imposter, Evil Clown or Troller will masquerade as Eagle Scout. There have also been reports of Eagle Scout becoming Jekyl and Hyde.

Terribly boring, though I may have a my Jekyl and Hyde moment coming...
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 13.08.2009, 15:13
evilshell's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: UK, formerly Basel
Posts: 3,605
Groaned at 94 Times in 79 Posts
Thanked 3,013 Times in 1,302 Posts
evilshell has a reputation beyond reputeevilshell has a reputation beyond reputeevilshell has a reputation beyond reputeevilshell has a reputation beyond reputeevilshell has a reputation beyond reputeevilshell has a reputation beyond repute
Re: The Internet Guide to Flame Warriors

Quote:
View Post
EF flame wars warrior rooster

THIS HAS BEEN POSTED BEFORE!11ELEVEN
OH NOES!
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 13.08.2009, 18:25
Colonelboris's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Sydney, Australia.
Posts: 1,132
Groaned at 23 Times in 22 Posts
Thanked 1,262 Times in 666 Posts
Blog Entries: 2
Colonelboris has a reputation beyond reputeColonelboris has a reputation beyond reputeColonelboris has a reputation beyond reputeColonelboris has a reputation beyond reputeColonelboris has a reputation beyond repute
Re: The Internet Guide to Flame Warriors

Where have I seen one of these today...?

http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/war...apitalista.htm
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 15.08.2009, 10:39
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Zurich
Posts: 4,319
Groaned at 106 Times in 88 Posts
Thanked 3,476 Times in 1,449 Posts
Richdog has a reputation beyond reputeRichdog has a reputation beyond reputeRichdog has a reputation beyond reputeRichdog has a reputation beyond reputeRichdog has a reputation beyond reputeRichdog has a reputation beyond repute
Re: The Internet Guide to Flame Warriors

Quote:
View Post
God knows we've had enough of these lately...

http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/warriorshtm/klaxon.htm
Hah I hadn't read that one before, genius!
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Internet question [internet without phone or TV] gurutalon TV/internet/telephone 23 07.12.2010 14:55
EF flame wars warrior rooster Salsa_Lover Jokes/funnies 6 05.06.2009 15:28
Internet/print guide on things to do in Lausanne Christina J Daily life 3 29.12.2008 11:40
Call from an old flame Castro Jokes/funnies 3 17.04.2008 18:40
TV guide Fledgling TV/internet/telephone 6 11.03.2008 14:06


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 01:41.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0