A. A good way to learn history, so of course.

Q. Are Fridays the best working day?

A: No, they are the worst.

Q: When will the next cycle of sun spots occur, the ones that affect AM radio reception?

Don't know, but be careful when you see AM disturbances. It maybe the russians trying to invade.


Why can't I find a hot blonde swedish girlfriend???

A: Because this is Switzerland, not Sweden.


Q: Why do ungroomed Omega and Theta men want hot blonde girlfriends?

Because ur mom doesn't cut it anymore...


A. Why do people have to get personal on EF?

A. Because we like to share the luuurrrve.

Q. Does argus look like her picture?

A. Who cares? That b---h can cook!

Q. Who wants to come cook me dinner?

A Broomers does, he told me while we were at it.

B Who's good at removing stains?

A. Just put a pillow over it, it will flake off in time.

Q. My bed is really noisy, how can I make it quieter.

Turn this:



into this:



Q: Why Am I so mean on Fridays??

A. Because there is no hot Swedish gf .......................................
Q. Will there ever be a world without cars?

A: Yes. Hot, eh?! Check out the well-conditioned hair. And the detox diet worked too.


Q: Is SeeingBee upset that someone implied it's not cool to have a cat in one's lap?

A. No, she is upset no one wants to cook her dinner. And don't worry seeingbee, salma will take care of you later...

Q. Why am I so tired all the time?

Because you haven't had your fix of White Collar this week

Q: Is it unreasonable to expect Hugh Jackman to come over and make me some soup because I'm sick?

A. Cum over your soup? Creme of mushroom?

Q. Why has Elizabeth Hurley never phoned me?

A. Because your dirty talk about cumming offends her high moral standard.

Q. Why can I not force myself to work this afternoon?

A. Because you approach it with the wrong angle. Redefine "work" as "money-earning activity for the financing of pool nights" and you will feel more motivated.

Q. Which brand of antiperspirant do you recommend for one with highly overactive eccrine glands?

A. Turpentine

Q. Why did the bird fly so lo(w)

Sorry, I have to break protocol here. But that was the *best* answer ever! Thank you for that. I need to write it down so I can look at it in my most unmotivated times (read: happens too often)...

A: Those translucent crystal or stone things which you rub in your armpits. Failing which, Equine Rexona - rubbed only on parts of the skin that sport sweat pores.


Q: Why is it sunny when I get ready to take the dog out but it starts raining the moment we step out?