Looking for a Life Coach - Page 2

#21 12.12.2009, 19:35

	Quote:	Dougal's Breakfast
	I am particularly interested in coaching which can help me reprogramme my linguistic neurones, re-align my chakras, or put my vibrations in order. All advice gratefully received. Thank you.

My son, you have come to the right place. When I’m flying through the astral plane I come across souls like you from time to time. Their auras say it all. Burning with contentment. My child, you need to purge yourself of this. These souls are weak. They are ignorant. Their chakras are confused. You need to feel suffering. Your chakras are drowning in a sea of tea. As the shamans teach us, only through suffering can we reach eternal union with the cosmos. You need to feel suffering to earn salvation. Stretch yourself. You must give up tea.... for good. Suffer. If your chakras go into withdrawal and you need support, call me on my astral phone.

Blonaybear · #22 12.12.2009, 20:00

Ttttttttttttttttttttea addictttttttttttttttttttion is a tttttttttttttttruly ttttttttttttttttttttttttttterrible tttttttttttttttttttttttttthing.

flavio · #23 12.12.2009, 20:02

	Quote:	Dougal's Breakfast
	Since I am clearly not miserable enough, I was wondering if somebody could recommend a good coach who can invite me to look at my life in a more negative light, perhaps by telling me that I am addicted to tea (I need it to engage in any kind normal social interaction before 11:00), that I devote too much of my life to hedonistic pleasures, or that I need to worry more about, well, stuff and that. Thank you.

I have the same problem. There is no better cure than Job (or Cioran in a more modern light) to get you a sense of potential miseries. My favourite:

Job 30

"... And now my soul is poured out upon me; the days of affliction have taken hold upon me. My bones are pierced in me in the night season: and my sinews take no rest... "

portsmouth68 · #24 12.12.2009, 20:31

	Quote:	WanderingMenace
	I mean, I am also a 28 year old blonde girl, so forgive my ignorance-but shouldn't the final step of this read 'pour water into cup'? (insert giggle, tilted head, twirling hair-gum snap)

My mistake I was crediting you with some intelligence that pouring the pot into the cup wasn't literal. I'm not sure at this stage the we should still be pourig water into the cup, shouldn't it be tea by now...

Are you sure the cuffs match the collar?

Begga · #25 12.12.2009, 22:20

Oh, it's so sweet

I look forward to have my mr. right (and a big rock on my finger) so I can post something like this.

Just enjoy mr. and soon to be mrs. Breakfast!

Sky · #26 12.12.2009, 22:36

For somewhere in your youth or childhood, you must have done something good ....

Natasha · #27 13.12.2009, 00:13

	Quote:	Begga
	Oh, it's so sweet I look forward to have my mr. right (and a big rock on my finger) so I can post something like this. Just enjoy mr. and soon to be mrs. Breakfast!

Really?

Smug couples irritate the hell out of me

.

MusicChick · #28 13.12.2009, 09:28

One needs hot water for tea??

Anyways, anytime life is too good for us here, we get food poisoned.
Like now, for example.

So, if you are so eager to jinx your blissful status quo, go to the dingiest little gourmand shop over the border (I can pm you the location and the incremented product, too). That should do the reprogramming for a while.

You could also stand in the Zurich HB with a banner "I want your swine flu"..

Blonaybear · #29 13.12.2009, 10:15

Dear Dougal,

It seems that this situation has arisen since the poster known as Canadian Doom, oops, I meant Canadian Dude, departed the forum.

You obviously need to introduce some gloom into your life. Perhaps a move to Fribourg might help as it seemed to have worked for the said departed poster.

flavio · #30 15.12.2009, 20:52

Was watching this one, it could help you:

How does this work?

Dougal's Breakfast · #31 15.12.2009, 21:07

	Quote:	flavio
	Was watching this one, it could help you:

It did.

French is so depressing!

Thank you!

Flashman4 · #32 16.12.2009, 08:53

	Quote:	portsmouth68
	Come on I can't believe that a blond would know how to make tea. Put tea in pot, pour water in pot, pour pot into cup... The rest I can believe but you pushed the boundaries too far in trying to make us believe that you are actually engaged to an 'intelligent' blond... You really are the man with it all... respect for the Lord Dougal...

	Quote:	WanderingMenace
	I mean, I am also a 28 year old blonde girl, so forgive my ignorance-but shouldn't the final step of this read 'pour water into cup'? (insert giggle, tilted head, twirling hair-gum snap)

... actually you should pour the TEA into the cup.

.
..
...

BHBT · #33 16.12.2009, 09:26

	Quote:	Dougal's Breakfast
	It has recently come to my attention that my life, by Swiss standards, is simply too nice, which creates all kinds of problems for the people around me. It seems that having a decent job, a nice flat, a gorgeous, 28 year old, blonde fiancee (who makes a lovely cup of tea) and being widely renowned as a genius and all-round-good chap really gets on the nerves of some people. Indeed, it would appear that my lack of guilt and angst is actually causing me to lose friends. Not friends I'll ever miss, mind, but still... Since I am clearly not miserable enough, I was wondering if somebody could recommend a good coach who can invite me to look at my life in a more negative light, perhaps by telling me that I am addicted to tea (I need it to engage in any kind normal social interaction before 11:00), that I devote too much of my life to hedonistic pleasures, or that I need to worry more about, well, stuff and that. I am particularly interested in coaching which can help me reprogramme my linguistic neurones, re-align my chakras, or put my vibrations in order. All advice gratefully received. Thank you.

I wouldn't worry.... you're not.