It has recently come to my attention that my life, by Swiss standards, is simply too nice, which creates all kinds of problems for the people around me.

It seems that having a decent job, a nice flat, a gorgeous, 28 year old, blonde fiancee (who makes a lovely cup of tea) and being widely renowned as a genius and all-round-good chap really gets on the nerves of some people.

Indeed, it would appear that my lack of guilt and angst is actually causing me to lose friends. Not friends I'll ever miss, mind, but still...

Since I am clearly not miserable enough, I was wondering if somebody could recommend a good coach who can invite me to look at my life in a more negative light, perhaps by telling me that I am addicted to tea (I need it to engage in any kind normal social interaction before 11:00), that I devote too much of my life to hedonistic pleasures, or that I need to worry more about, well, stuff and that.

I am particularly interested in coaching which can help me reprogramme my linguistic neurones, re-align my chakras, or put my vibrations in order.

All advice gratefully received.

Thank you.

Start to talk on people as soon as the person leave the room!

make sure there's others people around we can hear and add information

That's 5chf for that first lesson.

lol what?

Just enjoy the tea, who cares about the rest.

Come on I can't believe that a blond would know how to make tea. Put tea in pot, pour water in pot, pour pot into cup...

The rest I can believe but you pushed the boundaries too far in trying to make us believe that you are actually engaged to an 'intelligent' blond... You really are the man with it all... respect for the Lord Dougal...

My advice would be:

- come always late when appointmemt time is crucial,
- be judgmental and accuse your friends of addictions,
- be chicky, sarcastic and explode at social meetings,
- never be apologetic,
- tell all your friends they are morons and that you really mean it,
- never admit you are wrong (when reality is you are) and make jerk out of yourself in front of everyone,
- be argumentative and always interrupt when other want to say something, actually never let them finish,
...

It should be enough for a starter Good luck!

Don't believe
Don't believe
Don't believe the hype

Woooo-ooo-ooo

Ohh DB. Come here for a big hug !!! (I'm sure you don't mind Mathnut ) and just enjoy the good life, dammit !!!

If you're short on angst and frustration then you need to become a football fan.

I can particularly recommend Bradford City

Yooooooou..... the 13th Duke of Wimbourne..... happened upon the idea of a remedial life coach whilst quaffing quails eggs and kranksy at the Savoy Grill.... with your Reputation.....

I say, break out the Pimms and Truffles.... It's time for a sexy partay!

I take it you haven't been home in a while DB? because it sounds like you need taking down a peg or two

I don't think that you need to find a good coach, or you will end up smelling of roses, with the sun shining out of every orifice.

Perhaps a failed life coach would be more appropriate. If not that, take a few tips from Tiger Woods.

Simple

Get married

Have you considered becoming religious? Plenty of choice out there and in most religions you could considerably raise your level of angts. For guilt, some of the more exotic types of protestant christianity seem best. How about becoming a huguenot?

Yes, and to make sure everyone will hate you, become muslim!

Dear DB,

I think you need a weekend with my mother, have you ever heard of latin american guilt? (no no mama I did not write this ahhh)

Bah, I think you just need to Focus a little more.

I can't say and I won't say whether you have a tea problem or not. (Yes you do.) But did it ever occur to you that life is basically simple, maybe sometimes we make it more complicated than it really is?

I hope this is a heads-up for you.

I mean, I am also a 28 year old blonde girl, so forgive my ignorance-but shouldn't the final step of this read
'pour water into cup'?
(insert giggle, tilted head, twirling hair-gum snap)

There are anti-high drugs available, like Rimonabant.

http://www.viceland.com/int/v16n8/ht...briety-984.php

Egads, you British will whine about anything!

Dear DB, i fully agree with you and most fortunately the answer to all your problems, known, unknown and unknown unknowns, are right here on this very forum under your own nose.

You must contact immediately our good friend Tweneer from Italy who recently made a major decision about a job in Germany. I suggest you contact him for the position of your Life Coach. If he can't make you miserable in the space of a few minutes, all is lost and head in the gas oven, hair dryer in the bath tub, razor blades and wrists time is certainly a credible alternative to living !