I was reading an article on Starbucks' "regeneration" recently, and realised that I hadn't read Pseuds' Corner in Private Eye for a long, long time. Private Eye fans will already know the deal; otherwise, you'll get the hang of it really easily...

From Howard Schultz, CEO of Starbucks:

"...we want to unleash Seattle's Best to do things that Starbucks can't do. It has more of a mass appeal. It's a more approachable coffee in terms of its taste. There are a number of fast-food companies that want to get into the breakfast business and don't have a coffee solution."

there should be policemen who go to starbucks and if you are there for over 1 hour,or taking upt he comfy sofas for too long, or you are there with a laptop working, you should be dragged outside and shot.

There should be snipers on buildings opposite Starbucks and if you even contemplate crossing the threshold, you should be shot with a high-powered, large bore hunting rifle, in the head, twice.

What you actually meant.

Ya'll are too funny.

Different tastes for different folks and all that.

I don't care for a plain cup of coffee from Starbucks but on occasion do enjoy a quite large Iced Chai Latte for the creamy spicy and cold indulgence of it.


On the other hand, I've recently gotten the "barrista" at Tibits to make a vanilla hazelnut macchiato for me and it was incredibly tasty.

There's a load of pseudish twaddle going on in a conversation behind me right now. Offending phrases include "learning outcome" and "utilise the knowledge in this space". I hate business 'English'.

that would be the death of the business... no customers left

walked into Starbucks for the first time in seattle a (long) while ago and asked for a coffe (being Italian and all, thought it would be easy...), and the barista asked "which one?"... I thought it was a trick question... "you know" I answered " the one where you put the hot water through ground coffee beans and you get the black liquid that you then put in a cup?"... "yes, but which one?"... at which point I told him to off and walked out... never been in one since...

I feel that learning outcomes are little more than spurious devices
to facilitate auditing at the expense of the educational process.
.

It's Friday, it's five to five and it's almost time to
counterpoint the surrealism of the underlying metaphor!!!