This has been discussed in a non-adult fashion a few times in the pub but I thought I'd get EF's take on it.

Question :
How many 5 year olds could you take down?


Rules:

• You are in an enclosed area the size of a basketball court.
• Once you are incapacitated you lose, once a 5 year old is incapacitated they are out.
• The kids will receive 1 days training from hand-to-hand experts on how to gang up and take an adult down
• You will receive 1 hours "counter-tactics" training
• The children are motivated to not get scared, no matter how much bloodshed, even the last child will do his best to take you down
• I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy.
• There is no protective clothing for any combatant, other than a box (if needed)

I think I could take on 10, even if they formed a human wave and rammed me.
Whats your magic number and any specific tactics you would use ?

at least 50.

And define incapacitated. Surrounding me, only 5-8 will actually be in contact with me and if they attack from all sides, they will counter themselves unless they are very careful.

This is a weird dilemma. Probably none, unless they looked like the last one...

Unconscious or unable to continue due to injury.

The weight of 8 kids would pull you to the floor and if all 50 rushed you at the same time their momentum and sheer massive weight would knock you down.
Get a 5 year old on your leg and you are trouble, little sods never let go.

yes but a 5-year-old on your leg stops another getting on your leg.

Punch the kid on the leg to death and wait for the next one?

How high is a 5 year old?
If they rushed you couldn't you just jump over them and then hit them on the back of the head and repeat.

This is crazy

ahh..but what if another 5 year old has your arm.



50 of these....no use making unusual balloon shapes for these guys, they want blood.

Funnily enough, this is big in Japan



its the fat Ronald McD that does it for me ....

I would keep my arms above my head, silly

Hi Lob, you really do get yourself into it don't you. In reality you are probably right after "killing" 50 you would probably be knackered. Don't forget your only real defence mechanism is to kick as a 5 year old is usually around the 110cm ie their mouth is the height of your balls. If you cannot run you would probably find yourself tired quicker than you think and while the first 10 would be easy it would get harder as the masses came.

yeah, that 51st 5-year-old will have quite a scalp to his name

This basketball court, can I climb on the fences and so-on?

No touching the walls.

Thinking about it just getting 50 kids in a basketball court will be tight, they all breathe out and you will be squished.
Mind you if you could get one by the head and swing him round in a circle, you'd probably clear yourself some "maneuvering" room.

A solid punch or kick to the head of a 5 year old would render it useless. Charging assault or sweeping kicks would take out several at a time with certainty to maim them.

The most effective weapon one could use would be a child itself. A 5 year old in the hands of a large male could be used very effectively as a bat, rendering a small mob of 5 year olds useless. Swinging a small child around could take out a number of children at a time. Think Whirling Dervishes with a child for a Scimitar.

With enough adrenaline and a crazed frame of mind, I think a large male could do some real damage with a high body count.

you've been watching too much Matrix

That's certainly the image I had in mind.

I'm having trouble deciding if this is one of the best or worst threads in recent memory...right now, I'm leaning towards best.

How many of you would be child killers has actually got ( or had ) any kids?

When my two boys were small it was bloody difficult to get them off me when we play wrestled. They cling like leeches. Granted I didn't use any weapons or smack them but nevertheless it was draining and soon wears you down.

Just having two of the determined little fellows coming at you makes you feel like you're at Isandlwana http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isandlwana !!

revelling in the fantasy of it all ... I have a hard enough job getting out the door to work with my little leg clamp & he's only 18 months ....

Not only that... you just need one of them to start that screeching noise & your KO'd!

Lob I think the weight of opinion is against you..50 screaming 5 year olds, the noise alone would beat you.