I was just reading Daisy's thread offering to bring large quantities of junk food back from the states here. I remembered that I wanted to share some useful tips, and since there's no Swiss angle here, I'm posting this in off topic.

Anyway the subject of today's lesson is:

How to travel back from the US with overweight luggage / excess baggage.

A brief outline before we get started. Ever since I can remember the luggage limits in the entire world have been 1 x 20kg. Except for flights to and from America where they are now 2 x 32kg. This is apparently a big hardship for Americans, who largely seem to be unaware that the rest of the world has had to make do with 1 x 20kg and 1 x 7kg for hand luggage in economy class.

Current guidelines for luggage to and from the US:

2 x 23kg (or 2 x 50lbs for those who like to talk in furlongs and 33/64ths of an inch).

This can be upgraded to 32kg at $25 per bag per direction. In other words, 2 x 32kg will cost you $100 for there and back. That's 70 pounds for the Fahrenheit brigade. You can add an additional bag for $110 I think (per direction).

But what if I have way more than 2 x 32kg?

What's the matter with you? Don't know how to pack? No seriously, I pack light but whenever I'm going to the US I'm usually carting back a ton of specialised dive gear (the kind that usually has flashing red lights going off at security check points) so my friends and I usually end up with a big problem with luggage.

Tip 1: Hand Luggage

Duh - how obvious is that, not much of a tip. Hang on, we are getting to the juicy stuff, but for the moment I just have to cover this. On flights to and from the US even though they say 1 piece of hand luggage I've always taken two, and it's never been checked or weighed. I've taken a small case with 30kg, and a backpack with 20kg. 50kg of hand luggage is nothing to be sneezed at! Unlike the next three tips, this one will work TO the US.

Tip 2: Bribery

The colour of green still does wonders, even in the supposedly "security conscious" USA. That's right folks, you might have to be subjected to a million stupid and useless questions, have to declare on your visa waiver that you weren't a nazi and not a terrorist (formerly: communist), but you can still bribe your luggage onto an aircraft fairly easily. Here's how it is done.

When you arrive on the curbside wait for the curbside porters. Explain that you have too much luggage and wonder if they know any way to "help". Often these guys supplement their minimum wage and may have relationships with someone on the check-in counter, depending on the airline. Last time my mate handed over his passport and tickets and the porter came back with 4 luggage stickers. That was 4 x 40kg bags. My mate gave the guy $150 for his troubles. A fraction of the alternative cost...

Even if you are a bit overweight it's sometimes good to have the porters carry your bags on the trolleys and slip them a $20 to go and smooth things over with the check-in staff, especially if you are a few kilos over the 32kg limit.

Tip 3: The TSA X-ray Machines

This may seem very obvious, but I don't think it really occurs to anyone. In the US the check-in staff just weigh the luggage and ask you "security" questions, then you have to cart it off somewhere else yourself to give it to the TSA screeners to X-ray (lord knows why it doesn't just get done inside the airport like it used to).

So of course the obvious thing to do is just pack it full of more luggage on the way to the x-ray machine! A simple easy solution. Don't worry that somehow your bag has been weighed and entered in the computer and the fact that it is suddently massively heavier will set off some alarm - they aren't that organised. (my next tip will demonstrate this).

Tip 4: Faulty Scales

One may imagine that American airports are full of careful staff carefully checking that everything is working and that all scales are calibrated. If you do, keep on dreaming. Everybody else - here's the next tip. Just walk along the rows of check-in counters and see if you can take a peak at the displays (which are often mounted sideways, as if they were facing the baggage). Now all you have to look for is one that shows a negative amount when there is nothing on the scales.

I used this trick on my last trip and had a set of scales that read -20 pounds. I had 2 x 77 pounds, but had them processed as 2 x 57 pounds. The nice lady even only charged me 1 x $25 because I was just a little bit over. I thanked her, took my bags and then proceeded to implement tip number 3 above.

Other Tips

Can't think of too many others - just one - ditch that hard luggage and buy lightweight luggage. Don't spend a fortune - it's all made in China and will fall apart anyway, even the expensive stuff. Wait for something to come on sale in the US and you can pick the same stuff up for a fraction of what it would cost in Switzerland. I got my last set of brand-name luggage for around 20% of the Swiss price at the Thanksgiving day sales.

So happy trails folks, and enjoy your next holiday to the US of A. Oh yeah - God bless America, etc.

Mark
P.S. I would never do anything illegal, nor condone an illegal act. Please do not follow any of the advice above, it's just horseplay - really. Please remember that any inappropriate (i.e. most) jokes may result in your arrest and possible indefinite incarceration in a secret prison or military base in Cuba without rights to fair legal process. You have been warned!

Mark, nice tips, thanks. About tip three, that can also work with hand luggage, but only if you have someone else who can watch the extra baggage while you check in.

That works great if you are only allowed one check in bag of 7 kg like in Europe, then you load it up later and add a laptop bag to your other hand. Usually that works, unless your bag looks heavy, then you can get stopped at the gate and have to have it checked in. So pretend it is all as light as a feather .

I can imagine there must be a lot of self-loading overweight baggage coming from the US.

dave

hahaha, yes, my thoughts too.

You know, I am expecting airlines to charge by BMI any day now. It would be a brilliant idea, marketing wise, if they all agree to start it at the same time. Take an average BMI or waste to hip ratio (whatever) that is still considered healthy, and charge people who weigh more than that, unless they have a health certificate saying it is not their fault.

Calculate your CO2 savings per Boeing 747 just there if every passenger would weigh say 5kg less * flights per day world wide etc...Imagine Bush would sign up for such a (Kyoto type) protocol implementation. He might just get impeached because he is one of the few fit people left

Seriously, if some doctors in the US have started to refuse to treat patients who are overweight through their own fault, this is only a step further down the line...

...to a Brave New World.

dave

That's where that idea falls down flat on its face. Everybody would have such a certificate. You've never been the US right?

Stick it to the Man, Mark

I used to work in Houston, Texas, before the world became obese but Texas already was...They might start the trend in Europe then.

Yes, you are right, it will be if it isn't already. That is my point though, someone in the smoking/insurance thread here said he/she is already judged by Swiss health insurances for not having the right weight. I often think Huxley must be surprised as to how our world is turning out. I imagine he thought of it as a nightmare that is so hard to believe, the people in it must wake up on time to prevent it. But we don't and we haven't...

Overweight Divers' Luggage tips:

1) What about the deep-diver's air supply, helium? All you do is fill your bags with helium. Blow them up full of it in fact. As helium is lighter than air the more you can get in your baggage the lighter it will be.

But don't arouse suspicion by having you bags float up to the terminal rook. And certainly don't inhale any before speaking to the check-in staff.

2) Then on the hike over to the X-ray machine you can simply put the helium back in the tanks...

I was tempted to give you a patriotic groan, but in truth, on my last trip back to Europe from the US, the flight wasn't full and they were asking people to switch to different seats to "balance the load" during take off. The flight attendant singled out a - well - rather LARGE couple sitting together and made them split up until we were at cruising altitude. Gawd, how embarrassing that must have been. I was sucking in my tummy hoping not to be singled out, I'd gained a pound or two while eating the carb/fat/sugar filled food that is so prevalent there.

I do this as well

By the way, I've just found out that Swiss charges 25 francs per kilo of excess checked-in luggage, not per bag

Been through Stansted lately? They're really hot on the number of items you can get through the customs bit there. I do wonder how much of a cosy stitch up this anti terrorism thing is in this respect...

Another tip is - if you manage to squeeze past check-in with oversize bags, they will be removed at the aircraft's door (or at the gate if the agents are on the ball) however you'll pay no luggage surcharge.

Just prey you don't do that on a flight I'm dispatching (although that happens pretty seldom now ).

Another tip. If you happen to not be able to travel with two bags for whatever reason, like bringing your snowboard back or wakeboard or golf clubs or what have you, in addition to two suitcases. You can bubblewrap/tape the larger item to one of your other bags and then only pay the USD $25 for an overweight bag instead of $100-150 it costs depending on the airline.

Spare a thought for the chap who has to lift a 77kg bag from the wagon on to the carousel, thinking it'd be 32kg max...

You always have the option of sending your luggage as "unaccompanied baggage". Thats much cheaper.

This month I've been to Washington and Houston and they seem to have got wise to this one. No longer* do they ask you to haul your bags over to the explosives residue wiper guy and X-ray machine. It seems they do this somewhere else inside the baggage handling area. So beware using this tip, you might find your bags disappear down the shute and you still have your heavy stuff kerbside. USPS is pretty expensive these days. (*at these airports anyway but I doubt the same is true at JFK: Worst organised airport in the world! )

Back in the day (I'm 22, so that means until recently) you were allowed 32 kg per bag on an *intercontinental flight*! I presume that this meant more than just flights to the US? Wasn't this a general policy by airlines such as BA? My wife and I flew out with four pieces of luggage that were exactly 32 kg each to Switzerland this past August. They changed the rules last Autumn (at least BA did, I think Swiss changed it before then).

Today that'd be impossible -- they're all 20-22 kg, including intercontinental flights. Oh well. I'll be facing this on Monday, when I fly back to Zürich with Swiss. Both bags that I flew to the US with were only 13 kg, so plenty of space, eh?

Also, the hand luggage has become much stricter. BA stated *everywhere* that each passenger was only allowed one bag -- i.e. a laptop or a backpack. I had to put my laptop bag in my backpack, unlike last August, when I was allowed two bags. And trust me, they were very militant about this restriction. Maybe I am just missing out on something...

I'm not very happy about this thread to be honest. It's about bending rules and getting something for nothing. There's reasons why the rules are there.

I stick to these rules for a reason. (Lets consider the airplane circling on reserve fuel over a airport due to a delay whilst every passenger has bent the rules and brough x2 the amount of luggage on to the plane.)

I'd rather not be on that plane thank you.

The other point is the poor sod who has to load your 50kg monster into the airplane. It's set at 32kg to make sure the loaders health + safety is not affected. How would you feel if you had 200 bags at 50kg each?

If you do decide to bring hand luggage that's far too large it normally ends up on my head/in my face as it's obviously to large to sit in the locker. In this instance I will invoke my right to return the bashing to you with treble the force to whatever part of me you hit/bash in the first place.

Saying all this I believe that airlines are charging far to much for excess baggage and encouraging this sort of thing.

I agree with Cata1yst, that this thread isn't very responsible.

Indeed the same people who get blamed every time a bag gets lost of something goes missing. I wish someone would study how much stuff people leave behind at hotels or in taxis or on trains. It's easy to blame the baggage handlers.

The overhead lockers can pop open during turbulent flights, especially if they're overloaded. Actually, if something overweight dropped on your head, then you'd probably be too dead to hit anyone back.

Airline controls might be a pain in the ass to some people, but you can't change the rules by breaking them. Probably you'll just delay the whole process and make others uncomfortable. Yes, I would love to carry all of my luggage directly onto the plane and hand it over to the flight attendant to deal with. Actually I will do this when I get a private jet. In the mean time, I'll just continue to follow the rules set by the airlines, since I don't have any grounds to demand special treatment.