I was fearing this moment, and today it finally came: we had our first letter of complaints for the noise my child makes.
He is a lively boy. Very funny and smart, to my eyes, and I am aware not everybody sees the same. Expecially the old couple who lives downstairs.
She is nice, she waters the plants, says gruezi and paints quite bad pictures. She's ok. Her husband has never greeted me nor my husband, even if we naturally did so. He doesn't greet neither my very kind (Italian) neighbour, while oddly enough he greets her husband, who is German. Don't want to insinuate anything here, just a matter of facts.
As I said, my son is very lively, he likes to play, make jokes and run. He goes to the kindergardern every afternoon (from 11.30 to 17.00), and on the weekends we are always out attempting to exhaust him.
Last week he had a flue and we stayed home all the time. (He ran, he played, he has been noisy for sure, but in the daytime). And today this letter comes. They complain for the noise (jumping!) we make after 10 in the night.
I am very sorry, first. I'm doing my best to "fit" in a country that I've admired since my first days here. Changed some of my habits and even some of my personality to respect it.
And then I'm a bit angry. I understand somone can't stand the noise a toddler makes, but there's something unfair in this complaint.
Now I don't know what to do. I would like to talk to them, but my German is still too poor. Probably I'll write an answer to Regimo (through which they wrote to me). In the meantime I'm trying hard to tame my son (you know who's the boogeyman in our bedtime stories).

Thank you, just wanted to share this with you

How old is your son ?

Is he really up and jumping around after 10pm ?

What's your floor like? - can you put some extra mats and things down ?

We make an enormous amount of noise with three children, but only before 10pm...

I feel for you

I have three young kids, and whilst I'm always trying to keep them quiet, it's simply unavoidable that during daylight hours, when stuck at home, the volume will increase.

I'm lucky with my neighbours though. They accept that we're in a communal house and sadly that means communal noise sometimes.

As long as he ISN`T making noise after 10 pm, I can't see why they're complaining? Surely toddlers are all tucked up safe and asleep by then?

I hope you can resolve it, it's so unpleasant when people do things like this without even attempting to talk to you about it first.

10 pm is late for a child to be jumping around, unless he fell out of bed .
People expect quiet after 10 pm....and there is nothing unfair about that. If the teenage kids who live next door to us have learned, for the most part, to respect the 10 pm noise rule, so can your toddler, who should probably be sleeping at that time anyways. I am very careful that none of my dogs bark after 10 pm. It just being respectful of the rules and considerate of others.
My advice is to write a letter of apology, in German if possible, and explain that your son was sick, perhaps sleeping too much in the day rather than at night, and you will be more considerate in the future.

My son is 2 and 1/2 years old, and he usually sleeps before ten. I bring him to bed at nine, I tell him stories and he usually gets asleep before ten. Not always, I admit it. That's a problem for me too... I would like him to sleep before. (I am being very sincere here, otherwise I wouldn't post at all).
In any case, if he doesn't sleep, he is in the bed with me next to him reading a story, absolutely NOT jumping. Then maybe when he's sick he wakes up during the night crying. It happens very rarely, last week it happened (fever 40 degrees).
My complaining neighbour's apartment is under our kitchen/living room, where we don't go after half past nine, unless to take something to drink from the fridge... No tv, never.
Under our bedrooms there's the apartment of the Italian/German couple with a two years old kid, with whom we have become friends and we have no problems at all.
The floor is parquet. I'll put some carpets on the living room floor, and I'll write a letter to apologize.

To be fair to your neighbours, it sounds like you've lived there some time and despite your son being, in your own words, lively and noisy for sure during the day, this is the first complaint. And they are only complaining about the noise made after 10pm. It sounds like up to now they've been fairly tolerant so perhaps a quick word of explanation about your son's illness might put their mind at ease that the noise after 10pm was due to extraordinary circumstances.

Yes Nev, that's what I am going to do. Maybe I am feeling frustrated by the language barrier. If I was able to speak German, I would have already gone to them long before, as I did with all the other neighbours (who speak English).

But I would like to make one thing clear: my son is lively and everything, but he doesn't make noise after 10 (unless he's sick).

Is it possible that it's the other people's child who is making the noise ?

It wouldn't be the first time that's happened - people think it's someone else...

Also, it might be that the neighbour has sent a note to *everyone* with children, no just yours...

try not to be offended...

I have three children, I'm not always 'in control' of what they do...

This isn't an easy topic because on the one hand kids should have the opportunity to run free and make noise. On the other hand, that noise can sometimes challenge those who choose a more peaceful life for themselves.

We live under a family with a 2 year old. We do our very best to tolerate the noise (which sometimes sounds like an elephant stampede) because we like children, and have never even once complained. However, it isn't easy sometimes to have a screaming, yelling, running jumping child upstairs AND the parents who yell after her. During the day - no problem. I turn up my music. 5 o'clock on a Sunday morning (our only day of the week to sleep in past 7)? Somewhat of a problem.

For myself, I made the decision should my husband and I ever have children we will live only on the ground floor. This simple move could save a lot of grief for everyone involved.

If I were in your shoes, I would just go talk to her (yes, even if your German isn't good - bring a dictionary) or even invite her over for a coffee. In my experience inviting complaining neighbors in for a coffee and empathizing goes a really long way in solving any number of issues.

If a child gets sick it will cry, whatever time of day or night. It's a shame they've taken this step without even trying to talk to you about it, but as the others say, maybe it would be best to try to diffuse it.

I'm a big believer in trying to do these things face to face. Does your husband speak German? maybe you could go around there with him and try to smooth the situation over?

Good luck!

I am single but look at the way children are brought up.

I find the noisiest and disruptive children are those that get immediate attention when they start crying and therefore as soon as they want attention they start crying.

I also find that children do not go to bed and cannot get straight to sleep when it is bed time because they are not worn out during the day by doing physical activities with their parents.

First of all I wouldn't write a letter of apology especially if you have neighbours who are unfriendly and given half the chance will complain non-stop.. that man for sure doesn't sound at all pleasant.. you were expecting this complaint, why? are the neighbours unfriendly or is your son very noisy? It is a pity they didn't come and speak to you and tell you they are being disturbed rather than write. I would write a letter back explaining your son was sick and at home restless during that week and it is normal for children to be noisy if they are ill - get your husband to write it too. We also had a son who didn't sleep so well and was very active; we did two things to tire him out for the evening - shortened his day time sleep and made sure he got lots of fresh air, exercise before bath and bed.

I had my sister-in-law come visit once with her toddler, this was before we had our own kids. The silly woman forgot to mention the child had screaming night terrors up to 2 times in the night. We lived in an apartment with an old lady next door, a recently retired couple upstairs and a family beneath us. We were mortified when he woke up twice in the early hours and screamed or howled non-stop for a half an hour. As soon as Mom & toddler left, we sent an apology note around to everyone, no-one complained.. I guess they were as knackered as us and glad of some sleep

It is really hard living in apartments when you have a noisy child.

If your German really isn't that good, I'd suggest you get someone to translate a short note with your apology (starting with "I'd like to say this, but my German isn't good enough..."), then take it in person to your neighbours. I'm sure they'd appreciate the effort you've gone to.

Buy your son one of those toy trumpets or bugles and allow him to play with it at will during the legal noise period of each and every day. A drum kit would also be good for when he his tired of puffing.

I'm not picking on you Nev, just misusing your remark, I hope you don't mind.
The thing that annoys me about the complaint is that rather than have the balls to come and speak directly to the OP, the complaint has been sent via some group (Regimo?) making it an "official" complaint. Seems to be very unfair if the OP's description of the circumstance is correct.

I would go and try to speak to them and ask what exactly they were complaining about.

your 2 1/2 yr old goes to bed at 9???

When out son was that age he went to bed at 7, he is now 9 and goes to bed at 8pm

sounds like you need to get him into a better routine (and stick to it)

C'mon now, we are not discussing the times that this lady's son goes to bed and the rights and wrongs of it, we are discussing the noise complaint from the neighbour downstairs.

I think it has been mentioned in another thread on this subject but might be worth another mention; a pair of slippers on a toddler does wonders for the thump of their feet on the floor.

I was actually a bit worried (over paranoid cotton-wool wrapping type of mother that I am ) about the impact of my son's bare heels on the hard floor so invested in a pair of tiny Teva sandals for him to absorb some of the shock. They fit really well, are cool in summer and are pretty much silent on the floor to the point where I have nearly knocked him over not realising he was standing behind me in the kitchen.

Maybe I should fit him with a little bell, too...

They are also waterproof so can be used outdoors when we go down to the lake or to the local paddling pool.

This is none of your business and it have nothing to do with this thread...

I think this is a big problem here when people begin to judge the parental's skills or choices they do for their child.

Stick to the thread and don't judge other parent's ways to raise up their kids!

I hear ya...
My 'super friendly' neighbors below us complain about everything, even that we 'walk to load'
We have almost never parties, don't make too much of a noise, I would say we were close to be perfect neighbors, but nooo...
I wouldn't dare to have children where I live...