You no longer need to be a hatchet-faced National Front refugee to join the whites-only club. The fascist menace no longer wears jackboots. It no longer flags down the number 25 bus with a hearty “Sieg Heil”. Nope, ours is a new, gentler, more airbrushed age. Feminism’s here, so now girls can dig race hate too. As the BNP’s attempts to reposition itself as a mainstream party have advanced its perimeter far beyond the usual crewcuts-n-tats brigade, we spoke to three of the more acceptable new faces of the unacceptable.

Do you think Nick Griffin is actually gay, or is that just a vicious rumour?
No. I think it’s a vicious rumour.

Have you seen him in the flesh? He’s quite mincey.
I’ve only seen him on the news. I really like him.

As a hypothetical solution to the immigration problem, what about dividing Britain down the middle, and using the left half for immigrants, and the right half for everyone else.
Sorry, I don’t get that. Am I’m being really thick? No. I don’t think so.

If, as a hypothetical solution to the problem of immigration, we turned over one city to immigrants and made them all live there in a sort of ghetto, what city would you choose?
Birmingham, because it’s full of them anyway.

If, as a hypothetical solution to the problem of immigration, we turned over one city to immigrants and made them all live there in a sort of ghetto, what city would you choose?
Birmingham, because it’s full of them anyway.

Sure thing. What ethnicity would you most like to make love to?
Oh, God, British.
Outside of that?
Say… black.