how dare you sir!!!
that should be a guinea pig.

i hear that dougals breakfast is currently undergoing hormone therapy with a view to having a full sex change operation in the very near future.

dear members, i would urge you all to show your support his cause and in future address him as dougella. you see his, sorry her, doctor has advise that she must live as a woman for the next 12 months to show her true committment to her future lifestyle.

many thanks dear people.

Was that a subliminal reference in the Laser Eye Surgery thread yesterday then? Perhaps he is subtly trying to bring this into the conversation to make it less of a shock.

Tsk, tsk tsk !!! What was in that drink there say, sounds like you've been hallucinating
Something gone wrong at the Brewery perhaps ???

That's hardly fat. Wait till I stuff him with some of my silly baked goods and we'll weigh him again in a couple of months.

How's the bed testing coming along, Fb?

It is commendable of you to show consideration for Mr Dougal's feelings by not mentioning the background story behind this decision. However, you will have many people wonder why if you omit to reveal that if was the result of a careless accident and overconfidence. Suffice it to say that the surgical removal of penile papules should not be performed by and on yourself. While I understand you were trying to make up for the fact that you spent all your money on your last drinking binge, Mr Dougal, a CO2 laser is not an instrument you can handle while in a state of high inebriation. The manipulation of high-precision surgical tools and the carrying out of the actual operation are best left to a qualified dermatologist. I can only imagine the result of your botched-up job was not pretty and it is no wonder that your molten stump was declared "beyond repair" by the surgeon, hence the inevitable decision to become a woman.

bed testing is on schedule. have just tested the bed of the queen of sheba, very plush!

dougella did indeed attempt to operate on herself but as you have surmised, the operation did not go according to plan.
he/she is at this very moment in a private clinic in the alps undergoing reconstructive surgery and will emmerge with a new gender very soon.
we must show our support by sending her our best regards and any spare female attire.

*shakes his head and tuts... slaps Fatbloke upside the head... smiles indulgently... wonders when Fatbloke is going to venture into the rest of the Big Bad Forum*

"returns slap, pokes db in the eye and returns to his bed testing"
the forum is a very big and scary place.

fatbloke, just ignore DB, he's just a sore loser....

I'm an excellent loser.

Especially when the match was thrown...

hi Fatbloke and welcome to the EF

Please, please don't encourage him!

hmmmmmm....!!!Is that a bit fishy??

He certainly smells a bit fishy.

...something to do with his obsessive compulsive habit of stuffing empty sardine cans down the back of his underpants, turning up the central heating, and striding round his flat singing the Marseillaise.

He's a filthy, filthy beast. You'd best stay well clear, young lady.

thanks for your warning

Oh yes, filthy beast must be the right description for that fatbloke, or is this also meant for Dougal ? Who is who and who is what here now

i agree she is a sore loser
sore, bruised and battered!!!!

many thanks
do not believe db, she is feeling the after effects of gender reorientation surgery and hormone replacement therapy.

it is sad that she cannot differentiate between fantasy and reality and indeed salmon and tuna!